DOI Heft:
March 27, 1880
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17763#0139
March 27, 1880.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
133
ELECTIONEERING A LA MODE.
{ The Diary of a Day spent in a very Parliamentary Tram.)
^Rose early after a good night’s rest, in excellent trim for my
Northern campaign.
Arrived at the terminus, I found that the arrangements were
excellent. The public had been refused admittance to the platform,
and consequently a large crowd had collected outside the station.
Seized the opportunity to deliver a forty minutes’ oration. It
was received with enthusiasm, except by a few malcontents, who j
declared that they would be late for their trains. These selfish
Obstructionists were speedily bonneted by the more energetic of
my supporters.
Having concluded my peroration, I disappeared, and (by arrange-
ment with the Railway Officials) took up fresh ground. When the
doors were thrown open, 1 was found in the Booking-office. A j
number of travellers immediately collected round the pigeon-hole
asking for tickets. I gave them something better. In a few well-
chosen words I explained my policy, denounced the tactics of the
Government, and sketched the history of Parliament from the earliest
days. I was just warming to the subject, when the Traffic Manager
informed me that my train could not conveniently wait any longer,
as it was already forty minutes behind its time. Hearing this, I
immediately retired from the Booking-office, and hurried to the
Saloon Carriage which had very courteously been placed at my dis-
posal. Then, after heartily thanking the Traffic Manager and the
other officials for their consideration, I gave the signal for departure,
and the train steamed off.
Our first stoppage was at Slocum, where we waited ten minutes
for refreshments. Thanks to the admirable arrangements of the
Railway Company I found the buffet ready to receive me. The
young Ladies cheered loudly as I took my stand on the counter. In
a minute the room was completely filled, and I had an opportunity
of explaining my views at some length. The meeting was a great
success. It is true that an angry old gentleman who wanted soup,
and a Materfamilias with a large family clamouring for buns, raised
a certain amount of confusion, but they were forced to withdraw by
an attendant policeman.
We were an hour or more late on leaving Slocum, and put on
extra steam to Flamborough. Here, as a rule, the train stops five
minutes for water. On this occasion, however (thanks to the kind-
ness of the Railway Officials), the wait was considerably prolonged. I
had time to receive four deputations in the Waiting Room, to make
a long speech to an enthusiastic audience of non-electors from a
window in the Station-Master’s private apartments, and to lunch
with the Mayor and Corporation in the Telegraph Office. Every-
thing passed off admirably, and the enthusiasm was enormous.
Some two hours behind our time we steamed out of Flamborough,
and my speeches at Muddleton (where we stayed forty minutes, by
the kindness of the Railway Officials); at Longwyndham (where we
stopped three-quarters of an hour), and at Hazeborough Junction
(where no record of the time was kept) were received with the loudest
of cheers.
As it was represented to me, shortly after leaving the Junction,
that our earlier stoppages had rather interfered with the ordinary
traffic on the line, I suggested that we should proceed direct to our
destination. This concession was gratefully acknowledged by the
Railway Officials, who, however, insisted that I should have a final
opportunity of addressing my fellow-passengers. Feeling that I had
no right to refuse this proposal, I consented. The train was stopped
at the junction of several lines, and danger-signals were hois'" M
in all directions. In less than an hour, some dozen trains coming
from various parts of the country, had stopped behind and in front
of ours. The passengers having descended, I addressed the meeting
from the signal-box. I was listened to with great attention by
everybody, with the exception of those who had travelled by my own
train, who rudely declared that they had heard what I was saying
before! Having finished my speech, the passengers returned to
their respective carriages, and the traffic on the line was resumed.
The remainder of our journey was without incident. We arrived
at our terminus only five hours late. On entering the Station I
was received with the most enthusiastic applause. The Railway
Officials immediately interviewed me, and suggested that I might
then and there hold a meeting. As I was rather fatigued by my
exertions, I pointed out that the only persons I should like to address
(as my local arrangements were all made) were those who had accom-
panied me. I added that I feared the passengers would be fa-
tigued, and that, in fact, I found myself falling off to sleep. I
therefore decided upon going to my hotel forthwith. I was escorted
to a carriage-and-six, and the procession (which included six brass
bands and two hundred torch-bearers) started for the Stentors’ Arms,
where I close this page of my diary before going to bed. I must get
a little sleep, as my first meeting is called for daybreak to-morrow
morning.
Rather too Kind.
A Conservative morning journal thus announces
“A Home-Ruler’s Mission.—The Home-Rule Confederation Executive
decided yesterday to send Mr. F. H. O'Donnell, M.P., to some of the
Northern towns to speak at meetings on behalf of the Liberal Candidates.”
The idea of sending an Obstructive to promote Liberal interests is a
little too Irish. Save the Liberal Candidates from their friends,
especially those who are likewise Home-Rulers! Non tali auxilio !
FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE.
A large number of Members of Parliament have gone to the
Country.
In many cases, their return is so uncertain that they have only
taken single tickets.
EVERY ONE TO HIS TRADE.
It is announced that the Grocers’ Company have awarded a fifth
donation of £100 to the Yentnor Consumption Hospital. The
Grocers would gladly check all consumption but that of tea, sugar,
and other groceries.
An Emendation [from the Indian Taxpayer's standpoint).—
“ Imperium et Paupertas.”
Disraelian Synonym.—“ The policy of decomposition ”—“ Utter
Rot.”
What London Ratepayers are in the Hands of the London
Water Companies.—Water-Babies.
The Officer Commanding (at the Easter Review).—General
Election.
Brummagem Bravery.—“The Charge of the Six Hundred.” By
Major Burnaby. __
The best Example of Light and Leading (into Sloughs of
Despond).—The Will-o’-the-Wisp.
Easter Eggs for Candidates.—Not rotten ones, let us hope.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
133
ELECTIONEERING A LA MODE.
{ The Diary of a Day spent in a very Parliamentary Tram.)
^Rose early after a good night’s rest, in excellent trim for my
Northern campaign.
Arrived at the terminus, I found that the arrangements were
excellent. The public had been refused admittance to the platform,
and consequently a large crowd had collected outside the station.
Seized the opportunity to deliver a forty minutes’ oration. It
was received with enthusiasm, except by a few malcontents, who j
declared that they would be late for their trains. These selfish
Obstructionists were speedily bonneted by the more energetic of
my supporters.
Having concluded my peroration, I disappeared, and (by arrange-
ment with the Railway Officials) took up fresh ground. When the
doors were thrown open, 1 was found in the Booking-office. A j
number of travellers immediately collected round the pigeon-hole
asking for tickets. I gave them something better. In a few well-
chosen words I explained my policy, denounced the tactics of the
Government, and sketched the history of Parliament from the earliest
days. I was just warming to the subject, when the Traffic Manager
informed me that my train could not conveniently wait any longer,
as it was already forty minutes behind its time. Hearing this, I
immediately retired from the Booking-office, and hurried to the
Saloon Carriage which had very courteously been placed at my dis-
posal. Then, after heartily thanking the Traffic Manager and the
other officials for their consideration, I gave the signal for departure,
and the train steamed off.
Our first stoppage was at Slocum, where we waited ten minutes
for refreshments. Thanks to the admirable arrangements of the
Railway Company I found the buffet ready to receive me. The
young Ladies cheered loudly as I took my stand on the counter. In
a minute the room was completely filled, and I had an opportunity
of explaining my views at some length. The meeting was a great
success. It is true that an angry old gentleman who wanted soup,
and a Materfamilias with a large family clamouring for buns, raised
a certain amount of confusion, but they were forced to withdraw by
an attendant policeman.
We were an hour or more late on leaving Slocum, and put on
extra steam to Flamborough. Here, as a rule, the train stops five
minutes for water. On this occasion, however (thanks to the kind-
ness of the Railway Officials), the wait was considerably prolonged. I
had time to receive four deputations in the Waiting Room, to make
a long speech to an enthusiastic audience of non-electors from a
window in the Station-Master’s private apartments, and to lunch
with the Mayor and Corporation in the Telegraph Office. Every-
thing passed off admirably, and the enthusiasm was enormous.
Some two hours behind our time we steamed out of Flamborough,
and my speeches at Muddleton (where we stayed forty minutes, by
the kindness of the Railway Officials); at Longwyndham (where we
stopped three-quarters of an hour), and at Hazeborough Junction
(where no record of the time was kept) were received with the loudest
of cheers.
As it was represented to me, shortly after leaving the Junction,
that our earlier stoppages had rather interfered with the ordinary
traffic on the line, I suggested that we should proceed direct to our
destination. This concession was gratefully acknowledged by the
Railway Officials, who, however, insisted that I should have a final
opportunity of addressing my fellow-passengers. Feeling that I had
no right to refuse this proposal, I consented. The train was stopped
at the junction of several lines, and danger-signals were hois'" M
in all directions. In less than an hour, some dozen trains coming
from various parts of the country, had stopped behind and in front
of ours. The passengers having descended, I addressed the meeting
from the signal-box. I was listened to with great attention by
everybody, with the exception of those who had travelled by my own
train, who rudely declared that they had heard what I was saying
before! Having finished my speech, the passengers returned to
their respective carriages, and the traffic on the line was resumed.
The remainder of our journey was without incident. We arrived
at our terminus only five hours late. On entering the Station I
was received with the most enthusiastic applause. The Railway
Officials immediately interviewed me, and suggested that I might
then and there hold a meeting. As I was rather fatigued by my
exertions, I pointed out that the only persons I should like to address
(as my local arrangements were all made) were those who had accom-
panied me. I added that I feared the passengers would be fa-
tigued, and that, in fact, I found myself falling off to sleep. I
therefore decided upon going to my hotel forthwith. I was escorted
to a carriage-and-six, and the procession (which included six brass
bands and two hundred torch-bearers) started for the Stentors’ Arms,
where I close this page of my diary before going to bed. I must get
a little sleep, as my first meeting is called for daybreak to-morrow
morning.
Rather too Kind.
A Conservative morning journal thus announces
“A Home-Ruler’s Mission.—The Home-Rule Confederation Executive
decided yesterday to send Mr. F. H. O'Donnell, M.P., to some of the
Northern towns to speak at meetings on behalf of the Liberal Candidates.”
The idea of sending an Obstructive to promote Liberal interests is a
little too Irish. Save the Liberal Candidates from their friends,
especially those who are likewise Home-Rulers! Non tali auxilio !
FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE.
A large number of Members of Parliament have gone to the
Country.
In many cases, their return is so uncertain that they have only
taken single tickets.
EVERY ONE TO HIS TRADE.
It is announced that the Grocers’ Company have awarded a fifth
donation of £100 to the Yentnor Consumption Hospital. The
Grocers would gladly check all consumption but that of tea, sugar,
and other groceries.
An Emendation [from the Indian Taxpayer's standpoint).—
“ Imperium et Paupertas.”
Disraelian Synonym.—“ The policy of decomposition ”—“ Utter
Rot.”
What London Ratepayers are in the Hands of the London
Water Companies.—Water-Babies.
The Officer Commanding (at the Easter Review).—General
Election.
Brummagem Bravery.—“The Charge of the Six Hundred.” By
Major Burnaby. __
The best Example of Light and Leading (into Sloughs of
Despond).—The Will-o’-the-Wisp.
Easter Eggs for Candidates.—Not rotten ones, let us hope.