DOI Heft:
March 20, 1880
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17763#0138
132
[March 20, 1880.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Lords Aberdare and Kimberley thought the Visiting Justices, and
not the High Sheriff only, should have a discretion a.s to granting
admission to representatives of the Press. It oertainly seems the
very irony of legislation that reporters should be excluded from the
press-room.
(Commons.)—Mr. Cross performed the Happy Dispatch on his
Water Bill. Poor little Bill! “ Born but to bloom ”—no, to blush—
“a single day! ”
Sir J. Lubbock asking if the War Office meant to lend the Volun-
teers great-coats for the Easter Monday Review, Colonel Stanley
reminded the House that armed assemblages being forbidden at
Election times, there could be no appearance of a Volunteer body,
and therefore no need of a great-coat, next Easter Monday.
The Chancellor of the Exchequer said that Order would be
taken for resumption, or suspension of Private Bill Committees,
according to the circumstances of each case, and intimated that
Government would require nearly all the fag-end of the Session.
Sir J. McKenna trotted out his Hobby — the often renewed
attempt to make out that Pat bears twice his load of Imperial
taxation.
Sir Joseph was unhobbied, in a thin House, by 58 to 36—a narrow
majority (against him) of 22.
Mr. Raikes rose in the vain effort to call attention to the need of
better provision for legislative compensation to Railway Servants
injured in the performance of their duty. There is no class of men,
Punch believes, so hardly worked, and so insufficiently protected,
as Railway Servants—none so much at the mercy of Corporations,
who have, as a rule, far less mercy than private employers, and
none on whose behalf there is more need of better legislative provi-
sion for compensation for injuries, in many cases due to no avoid-
able fault of the sufferers, but to too exclusive an eye to the saving
of expense and swelling of dividends on the part of the companies,
their employers.
Naturally, the House/not being railway servants, and having its
J heart, not in its legislation, but its electioneering, was Counted Out.
Wednesday.—Mr. Anderson brought in a Patent Amendment
Bill, to withdraw it without a division.
Sir Selwin Ibbetson moved a supplementary little Bill of four
millions and a-half for last year’s South-African war expenses, but
frankly confessing, on being put to the question, that he hadn’t an
idea how much of the money was for the Zulu war and how much
for other items, he was glad to withdraw his demand till to-morrow.
The Attorney-General brought in his Bill to legalise Cab Hire
at Elections. A concession to the long-purses—most of them on the
right side of course. Looks fishy, but no doubt will be carried—as
voters ought to be.
Thursday {Lords).—Ancient Monuments Bill, introduced by Lord
Stanhope, resisted by the Duke of Somerset and Lord Redesdale,
to the De la Warr cry of “Proputty! ” and sent to a Select Com-
mittee for its schedule to be sifted, like any other kitchen-midden or
ash-heap of antiquity.
Bill for restricting Beer-dealers’ retail licences. May it conduce
to the restriction of Beer-drinkers’wholesale licence.
(Commons.)—The Budget. As you were: no taxes laid on. none
taken off. The difference between income and outlay (anticipated
and realised) for the current year rather above than below £3,300,000.
Eight millions of accumulated deficit to be provided for by renewing
bills for two millions, and paying off six by terminable annuities
ending in 1885, adding £800,000 to the permanent debt, and
suspending Sir Stafford’s own pet sinking fund.
Not a brilliant Budget by any means, in fact supplying what
should be a very good stick to beat the Government book-keeper.
The most comfortable item Punch can find in the national balance-
sheet is the falling off of £700,000 in the Customs’ Duties on
foreign spirits, and £800,000 in the excise on British Spirits, and
£940,000 on malt.. With the alcoholic barometer going down at
this rate, there is at least diminution of drinking to set against
reduction of revenue.
Friday {Lords).—The Government, the Duke of Richmond ex-
plained, can’t be expected to see their way about Roads till they
see what road the Elections are likely to take.
Lord Bury objected to Lord Galloway’s talking about Lord
Airey’s Report on the “ break-down ” of the Short Service system.
“ Break-downs ” belong to burlesques, not to War Office Reports.
The Report is a profound secret, and meant to be kept so for the
present.
{Commons.)—Government is to have every day next week, and
will then adjourn. The House can’t be expected to do any work
with the sword of Damocles hanging over its head, as Mr. Fawcett
found last night, when he, with Mr. Gladstone to help him, had to
withdraw his proposal to relieve India of some part of the cost of
the Afghan War, finding nobody could settle to anything.
ANOTHER ELECTION ADDRESS.
Electors of England, Ireland,
Scotland, and Wales,
I address you from a
desk full of Requisitions from all
parts of the United Kingdom—
from vast London boroughs, from
spacious counties, from manufac-
turing metropo-
lises. from ancient
Cathedral sees,
and seaports,—
soliciting me to
become their
Member in the
new Parliament,
and that without
either cost of
canvass.
I appreciate
these tokens of
the good sense
and gratitude of
my countrymen,
and shall be-
queath them, in
Hand some frames,
as heirlooms to a
proud and admir-
ing posterity.
I have declined all these invitations, preferring to preserve my
independence, and to continue to act as the guide, philosopher, and
friend of you fill.
In this, my old and favourite character, I have now something to
say to you touching the coming momentous General Election.
Awed by the flattering but solemn assurance of a noble Earl, in
an “ electioneering address ” despatched to a brother peer in Dublin,
that “ the power of England and. the peace of Eprope will largely
depend on the verdict of the country,” I admonish you, as The Eye
of England, to remember that the eyes of Europe are now upon you ;
I charge you, Chippenham, to be careful not to aggravate Prince
Bismarck’s neuralgia; Wednesbury, I tell you that the cafes and
salons of Paris resound with your name, and speculate on your
choice; Petersfield and Peterborough, St. Petersburg awaits your
“verdict ” with an intensity of feverish suspense.
Let us have an exemplary, a model Election. Let us show that
the public weal is not inseparably bound up with' the public-house ;
let us break neither heads, windows, nor promises; let us abandon
personation and personality, fighting an opponent fairly and stoutly,
without reminding him that his great grandfather was a tailor or an
early and involuntary settler in New South Wales; let us vote for the
man who best goes along with the general current of our views and
wishes, although he may not think as we do on single points, such
as Local Option, Co-operative Stores, Contagious Diseases Acts,
Deceased Wives’ Sisters, Licensed Victuallers, Female Suffrage,
Sugar Bounties, Sunday Closing, Vaccination and Vivisection ; and,
above all, let us not imperil a seat by scattering our votes among
two or three candidates, instead of concentrating them on one.
England—beware beer and bribery. Ireland—the force of a vote
does not depend on the strength of a shillelagh: give up Home-
Rule—try Self-Government. Scotland—I have unbounded confi-
dence in you, but put the whiskey-bottle away. Wales—do nothing
to discredit your Prince and Princess.
And may we all, both Punch and People, so vote and poll, that
hereafter we may be able to look back to the great “ May Meeting ”
of 1880 at Westminster as the beginning of seven tranquil years of
peace and prosperity, of renewed surpluses and cheerful Budgets,
of fewer figures of speech and more comfortable figures of arithme-
tic, of a “spirited” home policy, of a “rectification” of many
abuses, grievances, and anomalies, of wise work and restrained talk
—and of a fresh series of inimitable Cartoons in
In Prospect of Dissolution.
Oh, happy Ass! ” puzzled John Bull may say,
“ Betwixt two loads, and only two, of hay !
See me, unhappy Ass, whose soul in stress is
Of all these contradictory addresses!
Oh, how that ass ’twixt his two loads might laugh
At me perplexed ’mong all these loads of chaff! ”
The Religion of Nature.—In Spring—Buddhism.
Out of the Fog {where Lord B. must have got it)—“ The Man of
Light and Leading.”—The Linkman.
[March 20, 1880.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Lords Aberdare and Kimberley thought the Visiting Justices, and
not the High Sheriff only, should have a discretion a.s to granting
admission to representatives of the Press. It oertainly seems the
very irony of legislation that reporters should be excluded from the
press-room.
(Commons.)—Mr. Cross performed the Happy Dispatch on his
Water Bill. Poor little Bill! “ Born but to bloom ”—no, to blush—
“a single day! ”
Sir J. Lubbock asking if the War Office meant to lend the Volun-
teers great-coats for the Easter Monday Review, Colonel Stanley
reminded the House that armed assemblages being forbidden at
Election times, there could be no appearance of a Volunteer body,
and therefore no need of a great-coat, next Easter Monday.
The Chancellor of the Exchequer said that Order would be
taken for resumption, or suspension of Private Bill Committees,
according to the circumstances of each case, and intimated that
Government would require nearly all the fag-end of the Session.
Sir J. McKenna trotted out his Hobby — the often renewed
attempt to make out that Pat bears twice his load of Imperial
taxation.
Sir Joseph was unhobbied, in a thin House, by 58 to 36—a narrow
majority (against him) of 22.
Mr. Raikes rose in the vain effort to call attention to the need of
better provision for legislative compensation to Railway Servants
injured in the performance of their duty. There is no class of men,
Punch believes, so hardly worked, and so insufficiently protected,
as Railway Servants—none so much at the mercy of Corporations,
who have, as a rule, far less mercy than private employers, and
none on whose behalf there is more need of better legislative provi-
sion for compensation for injuries, in many cases due to no avoid-
able fault of the sufferers, but to too exclusive an eye to the saving
of expense and swelling of dividends on the part of the companies,
their employers.
Naturally, the House/not being railway servants, and having its
J heart, not in its legislation, but its electioneering, was Counted Out.
Wednesday.—Mr. Anderson brought in a Patent Amendment
Bill, to withdraw it without a division.
Sir Selwin Ibbetson moved a supplementary little Bill of four
millions and a-half for last year’s South-African war expenses, but
frankly confessing, on being put to the question, that he hadn’t an
idea how much of the money was for the Zulu war and how much
for other items, he was glad to withdraw his demand till to-morrow.
The Attorney-General brought in his Bill to legalise Cab Hire
at Elections. A concession to the long-purses—most of them on the
right side of course. Looks fishy, but no doubt will be carried—as
voters ought to be.
Thursday {Lords).—Ancient Monuments Bill, introduced by Lord
Stanhope, resisted by the Duke of Somerset and Lord Redesdale,
to the De la Warr cry of “Proputty! ” and sent to a Select Com-
mittee for its schedule to be sifted, like any other kitchen-midden or
ash-heap of antiquity.
Bill for restricting Beer-dealers’ retail licences. May it conduce
to the restriction of Beer-drinkers’wholesale licence.
(Commons.)—The Budget. As you were: no taxes laid on. none
taken off. The difference between income and outlay (anticipated
and realised) for the current year rather above than below £3,300,000.
Eight millions of accumulated deficit to be provided for by renewing
bills for two millions, and paying off six by terminable annuities
ending in 1885, adding £800,000 to the permanent debt, and
suspending Sir Stafford’s own pet sinking fund.
Not a brilliant Budget by any means, in fact supplying what
should be a very good stick to beat the Government book-keeper.
The most comfortable item Punch can find in the national balance-
sheet is the falling off of £700,000 in the Customs’ Duties on
foreign spirits, and £800,000 in the excise on British Spirits, and
£940,000 on malt.. With the alcoholic barometer going down at
this rate, there is at least diminution of drinking to set against
reduction of revenue.
Friday {Lords).—The Government, the Duke of Richmond ex-
plained, can’t be expected to see their way about Roads till they
see what road the Elections are likely to take.
Lord Bury objected to Lord Galloway’s talking about Lord
Airey’s Report on the “ break-down ” of the Short Service system.
“ Break-downs ” belong to burlesques, not to War Office Reports.
The Report is a profound secret, and meant to be kept so for the
present.
{Commons.)—Government is to have every day next week, and
will then adjourn. The House can’t be expected to do any work
with the sword of Damocles hanging over its head, as Mr. Fawcett
found last night, when he, with Mr. Gladstone to help him, had to
withdraw his proposal to relieve India of some part of the cost of
the Afghan War, finding nobody could settle to anything.
ANOTHER ELECTION ADDRESS.
Electors of England, Ireland,
Scotland, and Wales,
I address you from a
desk full of Requisitions from all
parts of the United Kingdom—
from vast London boroughs, from
spacious counties, from manufac-
turing metropo-
lises. from ancient
Cathedral sees,
and seaports,—
soliciting me to
become their
Member in the
new Parliament,
and that without
either cost of
canvass.
I appreciate
these tokens of
the good sense
and gratitude of
my countrymen,
and shall be-
queath them, in
Hand some frames,
as heirlooms to a
proud and admir-
ing posterity.
I have declined all these invitations, preferring to preserve my
independence, and to continue to act as the guide, philosopher, and
friend of you fill.
In this, my old and favourite character, I have now something to
say to you touching the coming momentous General Election.
Awed by the flattering but solemn assurance of a noble Earl, in
an “ electioneering address ” despatched to a brother peer in Dublin,
that “ the power of England and. the peace of Eprope will largely
depend on the verdict of the country,” I admonish you, as The Eye
of England, to remember that the eyes of Europe are now upon you ;
I charge you, Chippenham, to be careful not to aggravate Prince
Bismarck’s neuralgia; Wednesbury, I tell you that the cafes and
salons of Paris resound with your name, and speculate on your
choice; Petersfield and Peterborough, St. Petersburg awaits your
“verdict ” with an intensity of feverish suspense.
Let us have an exemplary, a model Election. Let us show that
the public weal is not inseparably bound up with' the public-house ;
let us break neither heads, windows, nor promises; let us abandon
personation and personality, fighting an opponent fairly and stoutly,
without reminding him that his great grandfather was a tailor or an
early and involuntary settler in New South Wales; let us vote for the
man who best goes along with the general current of our views and
wishes, although he may not think as we do on single points, such
as Local Option, Co-operative Stores, Contagious Diseases Acts,
Deceased Wives’ Sisters, Licensed Victuallers, Female Suffrage,
Sugar Bounties, Sunday Closing, Vaccination and Vivisection ; and,
above all, let us not imperil a seat by scattering our votes among
two or three candidates, instead of concentrating them on one.
England—beware beer and bribery. Ireland—the force of a vote
does not depend on the strength of a shillelagh: give up Home-
Rule—try Self-Government. Scotland—I have unbounded confi-
dence in you, but put the whiskey-bottle away. Wales—do nothing
to discredit your Prince and Princess.
And may we all, both Punch and People, so vote and poll, that
hereafter we may be able to look back to the great “ May Meeting ”
of 1880 at Westminster as the beginning of seven tranquil years of
peace and prosperity, of renewed surpluses and cheerful Budgets,
of fewer figures of speech and more comfortable figures of arithme-
tic, of a “spirited” home policy, of a “rectification” of many
abuses, grievances, and anomalies, of wise work and restrained talk
—and of a fresh series of inimitable Cartoons in
In Prospect of Dissolution.
Oh, happy Ass! ” puzzled John Bull may say,
“ Betwixt two loads, and only two, of hay !
See me, unhappy Ass, whose soul in stress is
Of all these contradictory addresses!
Oh, how that ass ’twixt his two loads might laugh
At me perplexed ’mong all these loads of chaff! ”
The Religion of Nature.—In Spring—Buddhism.
Out of the Fog {where Lord B. must have got it)—“ The Man of
Light and Leading.”—The Linkman.