Punch: Punch (78.1880)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. {Mat 22, 1880.

THE MUTUAL ADM I RATION ISTS.

[Fragments overheard by Grigsby and the Colonel at one of Prigsby’s Afternoon Teas.)

Young Maudle (to Mrs. Lyon Hunter and her Daughters). “In the
supremest Poetry, Siiakspeare's, for instance, or Postle-
tji waite’s, or Shelley’s, one always feels that, &c., &c., &c.”

Young Postlethwaite (to the three Miss Bilderbogies). “ The greatest
Painters of all, such as Velasquez, or Maudle, or even
Titian, invariably suggest to one, &c., &c., &c.”

THE PIE AND THE PLUM.

Mr. Bull. What, William, the old dish already ? Come!
This is too bad.

William. But look at this fine plum!

Worth stooping for, I fancy, Mr, Bull.

Even if it gives my enemies the pull
To see me squatting here on this low stool.

Mr. Bull. Stool of repentance, eh ? I’m not a fool
To fidget about forms when matter’s gained;

But really, William, I’m a little pained
At your peculiar posture. People laugh.

William. Ah, don’t you be too sensitive to chaff.

My foes will make the most of it, no doubt;

But this big plum that I have just pulled out
Will prove of value, after hot Lord George
And many a one who vows his very gorge
Bases at what they call my retractation,

Shall have cooled down again.

Mr. Bull. The situation

Invites invective-

William. From the Tory scorner

Of all the words and ways of William Horner.

But then, you see, they always crab my game;

Play high, play low, dear Bull, ’tis all the same.

To drink up Esil, eat a crocodile,

Would not disarm them, if I did it. Bile!

That’s what it is, and nothing will agree
With a disordered stomach, don’t you see!

Mr. Bull. Humph! That’s your way of {Hitting it; but I
Confess I do not relish Humble Pie.

William. Bless you, this isn’t Humble Pie at all!

Mr. Bull. The deuce it isn’t!

William. No, ’tis what I call

Policy Pasty, with a well-glazed crust
Of courtesy covering statecraft.

Mr. Bull. Well, I trust,

Your taste regarding in whatever light,

The world will not mistake my appetite.

For Humble Pie, however well embellished
By cook-craft, is a dish I never relished;

And this looks too much like it, for my mind.

A most unfortunate first course.

William. You ’ll find

This Austrian plum good picking; and I stoop
To conquer.

Mr. Bull. Ho you mean to_ lead your troop

To victory through the Caudine F orks ? I’m sure
You are forgetting—as you did before—

That though to seem and. not to be is bad,

To be and yet not seem’s almost as sad,

Sometimes, in issue. Meekly munching there,

You do not look imposing.

William. I don’t care.

Mr. Bull. But I do. Launcelot should not seem to creep,
Nor hot Achilles ape Uriah llecp
In act or attitude. Charge at full heat
Followed so soon by what looks like retreat,

May be fine strategy—but looks like blunder ;

And, seeing it, you really cannot wonder
If foes exult. I trust that you mean winning.

But this, in form at least, ’s a bad beginning!

A Sure Sign.

There seems to be no doubt about the Revival of Trade. Prospec-
tuses of projected Joint-Stock Companies begin to thicken in the letter-
boxes of persons unlucky enough to be on a Professional Register.