108

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[March 6, 1880.

Friday [Lords).—Lord Beaconsfield is sorry he can’t find £2000
a-year to pay for a Gallery of Casts from the Antique, at the prayer
of Earl Cowper and other amiable and aesthetic archaeologists.
Casts that catch no fish don’t suit either Lord B.’s hook or the
Treasury’s.

Lord Dunraven spoke forcibly on Irish suffering, the lack of
self-dependence, the ready ear given to agitators, the clamour for
help from the State, and the deficiency of private enterprise in
Ireland. There was good sense in all he said, about the chafe of
old confiscations and oppressions; the difficulties of Irish landlords
and the unfair measure meted out to them; the inexpediency of
forcing peasant proprietorship ; and the probable result of Parnel-
lian agitation and agrarian Utopias. His sheet-anchor was emi-
gration. Ho doubt every emigrant betters himself, and, in all
probability, his kith and kin ; but in the meantime agitation must
be discouraged, law-abiding folk must be protected and law en-
forced, and that done, Time, “ The Old Justice,” must be waited for
to try and mend all.

This was an uncommonly comprehensive and able summary of
Irish ills and their remedies—the former, unhappily, the more easy
of discovery. But what a contrast between the tone of the noble
Lord and the ignoble agitators who find their harvest in the misery
and ignorance of Ireland!

[Commons.]—Obstruction still stopping the way, but a general
disposition to g«t the Resolutions passed and have done with them.
To this Mr. Shaw and Mr. Gladstone both helped, by hearty ac-
ceptance of the Resolutions with some fair and intelligent criticisms
of them. Mr. Shaw’s speech was an excellent one.

_ An Amendment by Biggar, for suspending the suspending Resolu-
tions after one o’clock, was snuffed out by 290 to 14. An earnest
of the fate that awaits Mr. O’Donnell’s Amendment, that 100
Members must be present to hear the Speaker name a name.

Mr. Courtney spoke sensibly, as he generally does—too sensibly
to be listened to very patiently by a tired and heated house.
The debate was adjourned till Saturday at twelve, when, let us hope,
the Resolutions will be carried—and. hung up in terrorem over the
heads of the Irish Intransigentes. The O’Donoghue said, truly
enough, they were meant as a rod in pickle for the Home-Rule
Members of next Parliament, and smaU blame to it!

AQUARIUM REFORM.

People who delight in witnessing performances dangerous to the
performers, will be vexed to hear that Mr. Hobson, the Manager of
the Aquarium, has written to the Middlesex Justices a letter signi-
fying that, on account of the accident which lately befell “ Z.eo,”
the Directors had agreed that ‘ ‘ all performances with mechanical
projecting power should forthwith be interdicted.” Apologising for
“the Zazel and Znso shows,” Mr. Hobson says that the arrange-
ments for them were believed perfectly safe, and further states
that:—“ These exhibitions were universally popular, and were wit-
nessed by 1,440,100 persons, including all classes of society.”

How were the foregoing figures ascertained ? If by any special
contrivance for distinctly taking the numbers of those visitors of
the Aquarium to whom, in particular, “ Zazel ” and “ Zieo” were
attractions, and who went there expressly for the gratification of
seeing them risk their lives, that popular place of amusement may
be supposed to have been furnished with an instrument of registra-
tion extremely well answering the purpose of what Sydney Smith
called a “ fooiometer.” It would be humiliating to find that such a
meter has, in fact, recorded as “ including all classes of society,” a
number of persons amounting to a considerable proportion of society
at large. Let us hope these figures may be taken to represent the
admissions of the general public at the Aquarium doors, and not the
indications of any apparatus designed for the enumeration of a
separate class of spectators—the fools.

To Guard our Flocks!

“ Sir G. P. Colley has been appointed Governor and High Commissioner
of Natal and Commander of the troops in the South-Eastern district, in
succession to Sir Garnet Wolseley and Sir Henry Bulwer.”—Calcutta
Telegram.

We have heard a good deal about African sheep, and the capabi-
lities of the Transvaal as a wool-growing country. Latterly it has
been more celebrated for its stray sheep than its shearlings. Here
at last is the Colley to look after the sheep—Dutch and English.
May the result soon be great wool and little cry, in exchange for
the present South-African exports, great cry and little wool.

“hawks diking out hawks’ een.”

The Lord Chief Justice picking holes in Sir James Stephen’s
Criminal Code.

ONE WORD.

There are persons—well-meaning persons too, no doubt,—who
complain that Punch, in his last week’s Cartoon, entitled, “ Im-
perium et Libertas,” has outraged propriety by insulting an
unhappy Sovereign, for whom he feels respect, and the deepest pity.

The donkeys!—not the less donkeys, for their amiable feelings
and excellent motives.

When has Punch withheld his comment of pen and pencil on
events of commanding public interest, because they were in them-
selves serious or painful, sad, or even appalling ?

It is the spirit and intention of his comments, on such occasions,
that justifies them; removing them from the sphere of party, and
redeeming them from the charge of levity, as suggesting grave
thoughts, and questions of deep import for ourselves or others.

But there will always be minds so constituted as to be incapable
of distinguishing irony from mockery, and satire from lack of
seriousness. All Punch can say to these persons is that he does
not address them, and that they had better not look into his pages.

They are quite distinguishable from another class of critics, who
now and then cry out on Punch's comments, because they wince
under them, and complain that his arrows are poisoned because they
sting. To such critics, Punch has nothing to say. His best and
only answer to them will be to follow the road he has followed from
his birth—the road of right, by aid of the light of truth, as far as
it is in his power to choose the one, and to recognise the other.

THE RECORD OF A SILVER WEDDING.

On last Thursday night, February 26th, the Amateur Dramatic
Club of Cambridge University, familiarly known as the “ A. D. C.,”
celebrated its twenty-fifth anniversary with a grand banquet in the
Guildhall of Cambridge, under the gracious and genial presidency
of H.R.H. the Prince of Wales, who, on rising to propose
the first toast, was received with such prolonged and hearty cheering
—from a manly chorus of nearly two hundred voices—as evinced the
thorough appreciation of his presence on this most exceptional occa-
sion—this red-letter day in the history of the Club. Mr. Punch
records the event with pleasure, and more especially as there seems
to have grown up, with the Club, an earnest and honest ambition to
cultivate Dramatic Art for higher purposes than those of mere recrea-
tion and temporary amusement,—an ambition which, if properly
directed by experienced guides, is likely to produce such results
as will be highly beneficial to the artistic and social interests of the
English stage. Floreat A. D. C.! Gentlemen—by all means, but
remember Ars Longa, and Vita—at the University—brevis est. So
let all past and present members who have the dignity of the drama
at heart, work with a will, and salute the Club with Esto Perpetua !

A DIFFERENCE.

The Roman Dictator was appointed 1 ‘ Ne quid respublica detrimenti
capiat.”

The Russian Dictator is appointed ‘‘ Ke quid Imperator.”

Result of the Persian Policy Problem [when finally worked
out).— Quod Herat demonstrandum.