DOI issue:
February 17, 1883
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17754#0082
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAKiVAKl
[February 17, 1883.
THE POOL DUKE.
[A Legend of Hyde ParJc and Piccadilly.)
“Forward, rny brave charger ! ” cried the Iron Horseman, as he
ponderously rode away from the site of St George’s Hospital towards
the south side of the Thames. “At least I know where to find a
home. I shall be honoured there ! ”
As he passed by the Houses of Parliament he was greeted with
moans.
“ Ho not stay here ! ” cried a number of statues in chorus. “ We
are so triste, and no one takes the trouble to read our inscriptions ! ”
Certainly not,” replied his Grace. “ I never intended to abide
with ye. My place is on the roof of that temple dedicated to my
grandest victory,” and he continued his way across the bridge, and
reached the Amphitheatre.
“Mustn’t loiter here; Sir,” observed a policeman, as he noticed
the grmy horseman taking up a commanding position in the centre
n t. o-r^ari “ The trams have stopped running for the night, but
beginning again presently.”
it If rePped the Iron One, “ Is not this Astley’s ?”
w "-hat s what it used to be called; but now it’s Sanger’s.”
. ,FF™• Sanger!” murmured his Grace. “Never heard of
mm . Well, and how did the Battle go last night ? ”
What Battle, Sir ? ” asked the policeman,
i Wby.the Battle of Waterloo. Surely they played it ?”
‘ Played it! replied the custodian of the law. “ Why, Sir, they
haven t played that for the last twenty years or more ! Why it’s
almost forgotten.” ’
The Iron Duke uttered a moan, and galloped away.
And this is fame . he cried, as he crossed Blackfriars Bridge,
and cantered down the Embankment. “This is fame! Even
Astley’s knows me not I ”
“ You, surely, are not going to join us! ” exclaimed .John Stuart
Mill, who seemed to be seated on a chair charged with electricity.
“ You cannot imagine how dull Brunei, and. I find it watching the
penny steamboats ! And, pardon me, your horse would frighten the
Hansoms.”
The Iron Duke shook his head sorrowfully, and hurried to Charing
Cross.
“Ah, your Grace, you have come here at last! ” exclaimed the
First Gentleman of Europe. “Very pleased to see you. We wanted
another equestrian statue to balance mine. Gad, Sir, what could
make a better pair than the King and the Duke—the two Heroes of
Waterloo!”
“You are very good, Sire,” replied the Iron One. “ But if I stay
anywhere, it will be wuh Havelock and Napier—not with you.
You want a contrast as great as poison and antidote. I resign my
claim in favour of Thackeray.”
And his Grace passed on, leaving George the Fourth in his
obesitv puffing with indignation.
“ What- what—what! ” piped a squeaking voice at the corner of
the Haymarket. “Ah, Wellington! Yes—yes—yes! Distin-
guished himself in India and other places. Stay—stay—stay !
Eh—eh -eh ! What—what—what! ”
“ Sorry I must bid adieu to your Majesty. I am weary, and am
anxious to get to rest. One hideous monument is sufficient, without
the addition of another ! ”
And with this the Statue once more entered Piccadilly, and sor-
rowfully rode to^Hyde Park.
“ There is no fit resting-place for me anywhere ! ” he murmured
mournfully. “ Where shall I hide myself f When shall I shake off
the ridicule I deprecated in my letter to the Duke of K,utland more
than half a century ago P Ah, a happy thought strikes me ! Yes,
it shall be done ! And at once ! Good night, Apsley House ! Good
night, Achilles’ Statue ! Good night, good night, good night! ”
Saying this, the Duke took a plunge, and sank to rest for ever—
in the bed of the Serpentine ! And there—with the profoundest
respect—it is best to leave him !
HULLABALLOO!
Someone, we observe, is advertised as “ the celebrated Bellewesque
elocutionist.” If he overdid it, he would probably be known as
“ the Bellowesque contortionist.”
THE MAIDEN’S POINT OF VIEW.
Mamma [to Maud, who has been with her Brother to the Play, and is full of it). “ But was there no Love in the Piece, then ? ”
Maud. “Lovel Oh dear no, Mamma. How could there be? The principal Characters were Husband and Wife,
you know ! ”
[February 17, 1883.
THE POOL DUKE.
[A Legend of Hyde ParJc and Piccadilly.)
“Forward, rny brave charger ! ” cried the Iron Horseman, as he
ponderously rode away from the site of St George’s Hospital towards
the south side of the Thames. “At least I know where to find a
home. I shall be honoured there ! ”
As he passed by the Houses of Parliament he was greeted with
moans.
“ Ho not stay here ! ” cried a number of statues in chorus. “ We
are so triste, and no one takes the trouble to read our inscriptions ! ”
Certainly not,” replied his Grace. “ I never intended to abide
with ye. My place is on the roof of that temple dedicated to my
grandest victory,” and he continued his way across the bridge, and
reached the Amphitheatre.
“Mustn’t loiter here; Sir,” observed a policeman, as he noticed
the grmy horseman taking up a commanding position in the centre
n t. o-r^ari “ The trams have stopped running for the night, but
beginning again presently.”
it If rePped the Iron One, “ Is not this Astley’s ?”
w "-hat s what it used to be called; but now it’s Sanger’s.”
. ,FF™• Sanger!” murmured his Grace. “Never heard of
mm . Well, and how did the Battle go last night ? ”
What Battle, Sir ? ” asked the policeman,
i Wby.the Battle of Waterloo. Surely they played it ?”
‘ Played it! replied the custodian of the law. “ Why, Sir, they
haven t played that for the last twenty years or more ! Why it’s
almost forgotten.” ’
The Iron Duke uttered a moan, and galloped away.
And this is fame . he cried, as he crossed Blackfriars Bridge,
and cantered down the Embankment. “This is fame! Even
Astley’s knows me not I ”
“ You, surely, are not going to join us! ” exclaimed .John Stuart
Mill, who seemed to be seated on a chair charged with electricity.
“ You cannot imagine how dull Brunei, and. I find it watching the
penny steamboats ! And, pardon me, your horse would frighten the
Hansoms.”
The Iron Duke shook his head sorrowfully, and hurried to Charing
Cross.
“Ah, your Grace, you have come here at last! ” exclaimed the
First Gentleman of Europe. “Very pleased to see you. We wanted
another equestrian statue to balance mine. Gad, Sir, what could
make a better pair than the King and the Duke—the two Heroes of
Waterloo!”
“You are very good, Sire,” replied the Iron One. “ But if I stay
anywhere, it will be wuh Havelock and Napier—not with you.
You want a contrast as great as poison and antidote. I resign my
claim in favour of Thackeray.”
And his Grace passed on, leaving George the Fourth in his
obesitv puffing with indignation.
“ What- what—what! ” piped a squeaking voice at the corner of
the Haymarket. “Ah, Wellington! Yes—yes—yes! Distin-
guished himself in India and other places. Stay—stay—stay !
Eh—eh -eh ! What—what—what! ”
“ Sorry I must bid adieu to your Majesty. I am weary, and am
anxious to get to rest. One hideous monument is sufficient, without
the addition of another ! ”
And with this the Statue once more entered Piccadilly, and sor-
rowfully rode to^Hyde Park.
“ There is no fit resting-place for me anywhere ! ” he murmured
mournfully. “ Where shall I hide myself f When shall I shake off
the ridicule I deprecated in my letter to the Duke of K,utland more
than half a century ago P Ah, a happy thought strikes me ! Yes,
it shall be done ! And at once ! Good night, Apsley House ! Good
night, Achilles’ Statue ! Good night, good night, good night! ”
Saying this, the Duke took a plunge, and sank to rest for ever—
in the bed of the Serpentine ! And there—with the profoundest
respect—it is best to leave him !
HULLABALLOO!
Someone, we observe, is advertised as “ the celebrated Bellewesque
elocutionist.” If he overdid it, he would probably be known as
“ the Bellowesque contortionist.”
THE MAIDEN’S POINT OF VIEW.
Mamma [to Maud, who has been with her Brother to the Play, and is full of it). “ But was there no Love in the Piece, then ? ”
Maud. “Lovel Oh dear no, Mamma. How could there be? The principal Characters were Husband and Wife,
you know ! ”