Punch: Punch (84.1883)

H8 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March 10, 1883,

LIW AND EQUITY UNDER
ONE ROOF.

(Fro,a the Diary of a Q.C.)

9 30 a.m.—At chambers. At-
tended half-a-dozen consultations,
and signed twenty-three opinions.

10 a m.—Opened in a breach of
promise of marriage case, dot a
lot of fun out of the love-letters.
Had to cut it rather short, how-
ever, as I soon found myself due
in another Court next door.

11 a.m.—Examined iu chief the
Defendant in an accident case.
When I came to a critical point,
had to tnra it over to my Junior.
Dae elsewhere over the way.

12 Noon.—Argued a matter in
Chancery. Rather loose ia my
reasoning, in consequence of hav-
ing to think over a speech I had
to deliver later.

1 p.m.—Opposed an application
in bankruptcy upstairs, took some
lunch downstairs, and attended
consultations, and signed opinions
until it was time to reappear in
Court.

2 p.m. —Made a speech in de-
fence of a libel action. Inter-
rupted once or twice by the Judge,
being a little imperfect in my
facts, having been elsewhere when
the case was opened for the Plain-
tiff.

3 p.m.—Before the Lords Jus-
tices in an appeal case—third
door to the right. Again rather
shaky, but was cleverly picked
up and prompted by a bright
young Junior.

4 p.m.—In the Divorce Court
(second turning to the left),
summed up in defence of a co-
respondent. Afraid I must have
gone wrong somewhere, as I heard
subsequently that the Jury
awarded £6,000 damages.

4'30 p.m.—Just put the finish-
ing touch to a railway accident
case (court at the end of corri-
dor), and, through a misconcep-
tion, nonsuited my client.

5p.m.—Hurriedly discovered by
my Clerk. All my cases gone
wrong, and held personally re-
sponsible for the lot. Indigna-
tion meeting in the Great Hall of
disappointed suitors. Ran back
to my chambers to save my life!

PUNCH’S FANCY PORTRAITS.-No. 126.

MR. JUSTICE FIELD;

Or, the Legal “No 1.”

“ ‘Number One.’—Mr. Justice Field : This Court is Number Two,
but I am not. I am Number One. (Great laughter ) ’

Law Report—Morning Post — Feb. 27.

Bravo, your Lordship ! May you long remain so, and be
a “ Fair Field and no Favour.”

THE CORRECT CHORD.
Air—Sullivan’s “Lost Chord.”

Seated for years at the organ,

Just trying the stops and keys,
And wondering how the pedals
Might be got to work with ease:
By ear, with my notes in my
pocket,

Performing—as few men can,

I struck such a chord that the
organ

Burst out “You’re a Grand
Old Man.”

It flooded the daily papers,

Like the name of a comic song,
And I felt several inches taller
As I quietly bowled along.

I think that it nettled Northcote,
Polite as he can be in strife,
Though it seemed a sensible echo
From the din of my Public life.
But it brought down chaff by the
cartload.

That possibly may increase;—
For till Churchill’s in with his
Party,

I never shall know any peace.
But I take the whole thing calmly,
For the chord has a swell that’s
fine;

And I’m glad the popular organ
Has a touch that answers mine.
And whether I stick to the Com-
mons,—

And I certainly will if I can,—
Or go to the Peers,—no matter,

I shall still hear “ that Grand
Old Man !”

A clause in the Act for Regu-
lating Theatres says, “In every
case where any money shall be
taken or charged, &c., every
Actor shall be deemed to be acting
for hire.” But in most Ama-
teur performances there are no
“ Actors,”— only Sticks. Would
this be a sufficient defence in the
Shelley-Theatre case ?

“ Number One”—and How to
Take Care of Him.—This book,
by Dr. Joseph Pope, we strongly
recommend to every “ worthy
soul ” interested in taking care
of everybody. Useful also to
Detectives just now. It is likely
to be very Pope-ular.

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POETRY OF THE SCOTTISH PEERAGE.

Sandie, strike up ! A flourish on the Bagpipes!

It seems that there are, or till lately were, two Earldoms of Mar,
a senior and junior Eirldom ; the Earldom of Mar pure and simple,
aud the Earldom^ of Mar and Kellie. The latter was created by
Mary Queen of Scots ; the creation of the former prehistoric ; its
date “lost in antiquity,” perhaps but a little subsequent to the
general creation—if that may be alluded to without offence to
evolutionists.

The two Earldoms are said to have been contemplated by one
claimant, who claimed both of them, as forming a sort of compound
Earldom. He contended that the junior Earldom, with its limita-
tion to the male line, is superimposed upon, but does not destroy
or supersede the senior, and that whilst the heir male is at liberty to
Gall himself Earl of Mar and Kellie, he, as heir general, inherits
from his mother the original title of Earl of Mar. Thus regarded—

“The peerage is conceived as consisting of two layers, to the upper part of
which the Earldom of Kellie has been joined, but the lower and more ancient
i of which remains unaffected by chance and change, and follows the laws
inherent in its nature.”

According to this view of its twofold composition, how remarkably

does the Earldom of Mar (Scotch) resemble the Black Grouse (Scotch
also) whose flesh (as we all know, don’t we ?) is divided into two
layers, dark meat one of them and the other white. What a pleasing
analogy, thinks the epicure and the Scotchman—for there are now-
a-days at least Scotch as well as “ English epicures,” by your leave,
Macbeth.

Here allow a countryman of Burns to observe, with all due defer-
ence to Swiet, Pope, and Arbuthnot. that every genuine Scot must
decidedly object to Martinus Scriblerus’s celebrated illustration,
of an anticlimax :—

“ And thou, Dalhousy, the great god of war,

Lieutenant-Colonel to the Earl of Mar.”

However great the god of war may have. been in the ages . of
mythology, a greater must be acknowledged in an Earl the creation
of whose Earldom had long preceded them. No, very Reverend Sir.
No, Gentlemen. There is no drop, there is no plunge, there is no
bathos whatever, in putting “ Mars ” after “Mar.” Bh, Sirs, no
anticlimax at all; hut just the reverse. The Earl of Mar was a
Generalissimo undeniably fit and proper to be the commanding
officer of even Mars himsel’.

New Signs for the Bibliophilist’s Zodiac—Libri and Scorpio.