Punch: Punch (84.1883)

190

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[April 21, 1883.

THE TWO HUNDRED.

(A little after a famous Original.')

Cheers to the right of him,
Cheers to the left of him,
Cheers from the front of
him

Yolleyed and thundered !
That wasn’t half enough,

Rude Randy to rebuff,

Tell him his talk was stuff,
They pen to paper put,

Tory Two Hundred !
“Pooh! let young puppies
yell,

We know you lead us well,
Scorn faction’s low bray!
’Gainst jeers to mock you
meant,

Letters to shock you meant,
Just put this document,”

Says Sir John Mowbray.
Quite so ! Your health, Sir S.!
Woodcock has made a mess,
Finds he has blundered;
Long may you lead your lot,
Give it your foemen hot,

Cut by Lord R., but not
Not your Two Hundred !

In Earnest.

The portrait of Mr. Ernest
Hart was presented to Mrs.
Hart by the leading members
of the Medical profession, in
recognition of his great public
services, particularly in con-
nection with the British Medi-
cal Association. The names
of Sir Henry Thompson, Mr.
Spencer Wells, Dr. Q,uain,
and others of the same emi-
nence, show that it was a
genuine tribute to the work
of one Ernest Hart from
many Earnest Hearts, aided
by Cool Heads and Steady
Hands. The address itself
was read by the Gentleman
who bears the appropriate
name of Noble Smith.

PUNCH’S FANCY PORTRAITS.-No. 132.

CHIEF-SUPERINTENDENT WILLIAMSON,

At the Head of the Dvnamite-Detection and Fenian Ferreting-out

Department.

“ Palmctm qui meruit—ferret.

RATHER CRAFTY.

While taking our “ re-
freshment” after “labour,”
we read the following :—

“ His Royal Highness the Duke
of Connaught yesterday after-
noon laid the foundation-stone of
St. Ann’s Church, at Bagshot,
with Masonic rites . . . The
Bishop of Winchester officiated
during a portion of the service.”

Odd this. Is St. Ann in
the Freemasonic Calendar F
We can understand “Masonic
rites ” at the foundation of a
Temple dedicated to Hiram of
Tyre, of which Hiram Masons
must be a little tired. The
Bishop of Winchester seems
to have struck. Perhaps it
occurred to his Lordship that
“Masonic rites” on such an
occasion were not quite in his
line, so he would ‘ ‘ either letter
it or halve it ” — and he
halved it. By the way, Past
Grand Master Punch has it on
record that the last ecclesi-
astical Grand Master in Eng-
land was Cardinal Wolsey.
It is commonly said that it
is so useful for a tradesman
to be a member of the Craft;
hut, we ask, what well-knowD
partner of an old-established
firm is decidedly not a Mason ?
The immediate answer must
be “ Fortnum.”

“ Counts Out.”—The place
par excellence for “ Counts
Out” is Italy. Any number
of Counts out there, being
often Counts out at elbows,
Counts out of employment,
and Counts out of luck gene-
rally.

The Railway Passengers’
Duty.—To see that the Direc-
tors are up to their work.

NOTES FROM THE DIARY OF A CITY WAITER.

We ’ve bin a-jogging on wery comfortably at the Manshun House
for the last two or three munse. We ginrally has a Royal Prinse or
a Dook or a couple of Markisses every week. Nothink keeps ’em
away for long. If they ain’t asked to dinner to eat and drink,
they cums to meetings to talk, and to recommend other, and of
course commoner peeple to subscribe their money, which is, I think,
werry kind on ’em. That’s wot I calls a werry fair diwision of
labour. The swells does the talking and the snobs finds the money,
and both fullfills the nateral law of their waried existence. I allera
gits a peep at ’em if I can possibly manage it. I likes to see the fond
and almost revverenshal look with which the middling orders gazes
upon a reel live Prinse, and how they hangs with perfect rapshur on
every word as falls from his Royal Lips.

We have had all our reglar Bank wets as usual, and they’ve all
been apperiently enjoyed as usual, but there was no think speshal
about ’em to call for remark, until last Wensday, and then I’m
enclined to think as our nobel Egipshun All saw such a sight as
must have gladdened and estonished its werry eyes if it had
happened to have any. Fancy the subblime idear of asking All the
Egipshun Officers to come to the Egipshun All and have some
dinner ! And not only the Commanders and the Kernels and the
Captings, but even the werry lowest of the low, even the deputy
Surgeons wasn’t left out in the cold, but had reel turtle and Cham-
pain just like the rest.

Almost the fust thing as struck me was the gratifying fact that the
members of the old Copperashun wasn’t a-going for to let theirselves
be cut out by their scarlet gests, so every one of ’em, as it seemed to
me, who could either borrow or higher a red coat, put it on for this

speshal millitary occasion. I herd one on ’em who had got a red
coat on that was quite big enuff for two, explain that he came in
that wunderfool garment coz the ticket of inwitation said Uneform.
The Lord Mare set the egsampel, and looked like a reel Majar-
General, nearly all the Court of Aldermen followed, sute, and then
came the Deputy Leftenant Common Counsilmen, and a werry
striking display they made, you may be sure, speshaily two or three
remarkably stout Deputys who seemed to have been getting reddy
for an enlarged Copperashun. Then again, to match the two field
Marshalls as came with the other gests, we had our own City Field
Marshall, Major Campbell, looking as solgerly as the best on ’em,
and the Sheriff’s Field Marshall, Pontifex, looking the appiest of
the lot, because he had his own Field Marshalless with him looking
as bright as a sunbeam.

The trabbel I had to explane to the reel solgers all the unyforms
of the sham solgers was sumthink quite strawnery, and I am afraid
in sum cases I had to shoot the long bow. Of course I may be sum-
wot predjudished, but to my mind, of all the splendid unyforms in
that noble All, commend me to those of the 4 Royal Waiters in
atendance on the 2 Royal Princes, and in atendance on nobody else,
with their butiful scarlet coats, and their golden epperlets with their
real solid gold fringe, and their stately and horty demeaner ! I had
quite a frendly chat with one of them after the Bankwet, of course
paying him propper respect, and he told me, quite in confidence,
while he langwidly puffed his Siggaret, that not only his own Royal
employer—they never use the word Master—but also his Elustrus

Brother the P--e of W-s have exprest theirselves werry strongly

indeed a;gainst the abberlishun of the Grand Old Copperashun, not

only so, but their equally Elustrus Unkel the D-e of C-E

expressed the decided opinion that it would be a dashed shame to do.