DOI Heft:
December 29, 1883
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17755#0314
302
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 29, i»83.
WHAT NEXT?
Viscount Foozle (tenth transmitter of a foolish face) to Earl Boozle (fifteenth ditto).
“I HEAH THAT PuET FELLAH—Mil. WHATSHISNAME—IS GOING TO BECOME ONE
of Us! ”
THE EAMILY GHOST.
(A Christmas Carol. Air—“ The Mistletoe Bough.”)
At the Old Manor House and ancestral Hall,
Where the ivy climbs over the gable-end wall,
A Rookery lends the domain a charm,
And the rats and the mice within-door swarm ;
And, time out of mind, as the talk hath been,
There’s a spectral Thing to be heard and seen.
0, the Family Ghost!
0, the Family Ghost!
A sound, as it -were, of a rustling train,
That sweeps into the chambers, and out again,
And anon there appeareth an ancient Dame,
Like a figure stept out of a picture-frame,
In a stomacher, frill, and farthingale,
And her eyes glimmer through an antique lace-veil,
0, the Family Ghost!
0, the Family Ghost!
There’s a room where the Ghost is given to keep
So in that one apartment that none dare sleep.
Ho man-servant, maid-servant, girl, or groom,
Will adventure a night in the Haunted Room.
Should the Host any Stranger away there stow,
The Ghost of the Family lets him know.
0, the Family Ghost!
0, the Family Ghost!
A something in sooth it may he to boast,
That a fellow hath gotten a Family Ghost,
For a Family Ghost to a Family Hame
Is a sort of appurtenance much the same
As a coat-of-arms, or a Family Tree ;
Ho such Ghost hut for persons of pedigree.
0, the Family Ghost!
0, the Family Ghost!
In your stuccoed Yillas it scorns to dwell ;
Stands only the hold of your high-born Swell.
It disdains to appear—having too much pride—
To the family circle at Christmastide,
Where, if ghost-stories then he but truly told,
It could, an it listed, a tale unfold.
0, the Family Ghost!
0, the Family Ghost!
There is no truth in the report that, in view of his
exalted lineage, Baron Tennyson will adopt as his new
motto, “ Kind hearts are more than coronets, and simple
faith than Horman blood.” These trifles are left for the
consideration of Lady Clara Yere de Yeee.
AN EXAMPLE AND A PUZZLE.
Miss Mary Anderson is an ornament, and a very beautiful orna-
ment, to her Profession. An eminent Financialist (says Truth) asked
her, through Mr. Mitchell, what her terms would be to come to his
house, dine, and amuse his guests afterwards. To which she replied,
that she was not on hire for dining or evening party purposes. We
hemg also, that she did something better even than this, of whicli it
is not our metier to speak more plainly.
But what a contrast between the conduct of La belle Americaine
and_ that of the French artistes who honour us with their presence
during the Season! Of course our English Actresses never do the
drawing-room show business with dinner included, refreshments and
supper thrown in. Fancy the snubbing that an invitation of this
sort (sent through Mr. Mitchell, or any leading Librarian) would
receive from Mrs. Kendal if requested to recite Galatea, for example,
or from Miss Ellen Terry if invited to come out as Beta (or Gamma,
which was it ?) in The Cup ! or from Miss Ellen Farren if asked
for La Boulonnaise in costume, or from Miss Kate Yaughan if
invited to do three of her inimitable dances after dessert! What
a^Snob must the host be ! and what a host of Snobs at the party!
Yet it used to be done once upon a time, when, as “ the Profession ”
didn’t think quite so much of itself as it does now, it certainly was j
not thought so much of by “ Society.”
Tempora mutantur—but not to any very great extent. Lady
Theodore Martin or Mrs. Charles Kean in their time would have i
sent the same answer to the snobbish Financialist as Miss Mary
Anderson has done. But how about the Operatic Artistes who are
both Actors and Singers ? Why should they take pay for an evening’s
drawing-room show and not be considered as doing anything deroga-
tory to their artistic position ? Why should an Entertainer, who is
in every respect on an equal footing with the Actor or Operatic
Singer, take his honorarium for amusing the company after dinner,
or at an “ at home,” without injuring his position, socially and
professionally, while the opportunity of making twenty guineas, by
a recitation or a dramatic monologue in character, is denied to the
Actor or Actress, without forfeiture of social or professional status ?
Something wrong here, evidently,—but we were not “born to set it
right.”
A HEW PART FOR A BART.
The blithesome Bart, has in his time tried most things. But till
reading the followdng advertisement in the Daily Telegraph, we were
not aware that he had turned his attention to letting lodgings:—
ABAROHET and his Wife will be glad to meet with a Lady (who
may desire a quiet, comfortable HOME in the Country) to reside with
them. An invalid or elderly Lady would receive every kindness and atten-
tion.—Address, &c.
Here is an opportunity for elderly Ladies to have a real good time.
Fancy the pleasure of being- supported by the bart-ly arm to dinner,
having tea handed by a real red bart-ly hand, and in listening to
words of wisdom that fall from the bart-ly lips. This utilisation of
title is. a capital hint, and doubtless Dukes in difficulties, moneyless
Marquises, and the impecunious aristocracy generally, might make a
fortune by letting lodgings in this fashion.
Mr. Belt takes the £500, a slice instead of the whole hog for our
Pyg-malion. Tisn't much gain, hut he is content to put up with a
certain lawes. “ Non ultima laus est ”—is this the last of Lav es ?
The Aldermen have named Mr. Corrie Grant, Mr. In-corri-giblb
Grant.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 29, i»83.
WHAT NEXT?
Viscount Foozle (tenth transmitter of a foolish face) to Earl Boozle (fifteenth ditto).
“I HEAH THAT PuET FELLAH—Mil. WHATSHISNAME—IS GOING TO BECOME ONE
of Us! ”
THE EAMILY GHOST.
(A Christmas Carol. Air—“ The Mistletoe Bough.”)
At the Old Manor House and ancestral Hall,
Where the ivy climbs over the gable-end wall,
A Rookery lends the domain a charm,
And the rats and the mice within-door swarm ;
And, time out of mind, as the talk hath been,
There’s a spectral Thing to be heard and seen.
0, the Family Ghost!
0, the Family Ghost!
A sound, as it -were, of a rustling train,
That sweeps into the chambers, and out again,
And anon there appeareth an ancient Dame,
Like a figure stept out of a picture-frame,
In a stomacher, frill, and farthingale,
And her eyes glimmer through an antique lace-veil,
0, the Family Ghost!
0, the Family Ghost!
There’s a room where the Ghost is given to keep
So in that one apartment that none dare sleep.
Ho man-servant, maid-servant, girl, or groom,
Will adventure a night in the Haunted Room.
Should the Host any Stranger away there stow,
The Ghost of the Family lets him know.
0, the Family Ghost!
0, the Family Ghost!
A something in sooth it may he to boast,
That a fellow hath gotten a Family Ghost,
For a Family Ghost to a Family Hame
Is a sort of appurtenance much the same
As a coat-of-arms, or a Family Tree ;
Ho such Ghost hut for persons of pedigree.
0, the Family Ghost!
0, the Family Ghost!
In your stuccoed Yillas it scorns to dwell ;
Stands only the hold of your high-born Swell.
It disdains to appear—having too much pride—
To the family circle at Christmastide,
Where, if ghost-stories then he but truly told,
It could, an it listed, a tale unfold.
0, the Family Ghost!
0, the Family Ghost!
There is no truth in the report that, in view of his
exalted lineage, Baron Tennyson will adopt as his new
motto, “ Kind hearts are more than coronets, and simple
faith than Horman blood.” These trifles are left for the
consideration of Lady Clara Yere de Yeee.
AN EXAMPLE AND A PUZZLE.
Miss Mary Anderson is an ornament, and a very beautiful orna-
ment, to her Profession. An eminent Financialist (says Truth) asked
her, through Mr. Mitchell, what her terms would be to come to his
house, dine, and amuse his guests afterwards. To which she replied,
that she was not on hire for dining or evening party purposes. We
hemg also, that she did something better even than this, of whicli it
is not our metier to speak more plainly.
But what a contrast between the conduct of La belle Americaine
and_ that of the French artistes who honour us with their presence
during the Season! Of course our English Actresses never do the
drawing-room show business with dinner included, refreshments and
supper thrown in. Fancy the snubbing that an invitation of this
sort (sent through Mr. Mitchell, or any leading Librarian) would
receive from Mrs. Kendal if requested to recite Galatea, for example,
or from Miss Ellen Terry if invited to come out as Beta (or Gamma,
which was it ?) in The Cup ! or from Miss Ellen Farren if asked
for La Boulonnaise in costume, or from Miss Kate Yaughan if
invited to do three of her inimitable dances after dessert! What
a^Snob must the host be ! and what a host of Snobs at the party!
Yet it used to be done once upon a time, when, as “ the Profession ”
didn’t think quite so much of itself as it does now, it certainly was j
not thought so much of by “ Society.”
Tempora mutantur—but not to any very great extent. Lady
Theodore Martin or Mrs. Charles Kean in their time would have i
sent the same answer to the snobbish Financialist as Miss Mary
Anderson has done. But how about the Operatic Artistes who are
both Actors and Singers ? Why should they take pay for an evening’s
drawing-room show and not be considered as doing anything deroga-
tory to their artistic position ? Why should an Entertainer, who is
in every respect on an equal footing with the Actor or Operatic
Singer, take his honorarium for amusing the company after dinner,
or at an “ at home,” without injuring his position, socially and
professionally, while the opportunity of making twenty guineas, by
a recitation or a dramatic monologue in character, is denied to the
Actor or Actress, without forfeiture of social or professional status ?
Something wrong here, evidently,—but we were not “born to set it
right.”
A HEW PART FOR A BART.
The blithesome Bart, has in his time tried most things. But till
reading the followdng advertisement in the Daily Telegraph, we were
not aware that he had turned his attention to letting lodgings:—
ABAROHET and his Wife will be glad to meet with a Lady (who
may desire a quiet, comfortable HOME in the Country) to reside with
them. An invalid or elderly Lady would receive every kindness and atten-
tion.—Address, &c.
Here is an opportunity for elderly Ladies to have a real good time.
Fancy the pleasure of being- supported by the bart-ly arm to dinner,
having tea handed by a real red bart-ly hand, and in listening to
words of wisdom that fall from the bart-ly lips. This utilisation of
title is. a capital hint, and doubtless Dukes in difficulties, moneyless
Marquises, and the impecunious aristocracy generally, might make a
fortune by letting lodgings in this fashion.
Mr. Belt takes the £500, a slice instead of the whole hog for our
Pyg-malion. Tisn't much gain, hut he is content to put up with a
certain lawes. “ Non ultima laus est ”—is this the last of Lav es ?
The Aldermen have named Mr. Corrie Grant, Mr. In-corri-giblb
Grant.