Punch (73.1877)

204 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 3, 1877.

LIFE IN HiM YET.

A Telegram from Home gives us reason to trust that the tine old
Pope is by no means growing feeble, as has been untruly reported.
He still shows himself quite capable of acting with vigour enough.
It is asserted that the General of the Jesuits, by the Pope's peremp-
tory command, has pronounced sentence of expulsion from the
Order on Father Cuhci. Father Cuhci, for many years Editor of the
Civiltd Cattolica, a journal which, considered as an organ, might
have been better named the Vatican Gazette, is said to have offended
Pxo Nono by having so fallen away from the faith as latterly to
have "not been so blindly devoted to the cause of the Temporal
Power as the Pope expects his zealous champions to be." Father
Cuhci has, in his works, dared to countenance the idea that the
Temporal Power of the Pope is not a necessary institution. His
Holiness has sharply let him know what he thinks of that.

" Hath he so long held out with me untired ? "

So, we are happy to think, we hear the Holy Father exclaiming, an
energetically as if he were Mr. Irving in the part of Richard the
Third. Perhaps be has, in fact, read Shakspeare, and is capable of
enjoying him, and quoting him, as above, with gusto. If Cuhci
won't go, let him be not Curd, but cursed. But, in fact, Cuhci can't
help himself. Needs must, when the Pontiff drives !

.MR. GLADSTONE W IRELAND.

The following communication has been dropped into Mr. Punch"s
letter-box. The article was, apparently, intended for an American
paper, but the Sage of Fleet Street, using his discretion, has made
up his mind to publish it in the interest of the British public. Mr.
Punch's readers will observe that Mr. Gladstone's reticence in
Ireland has not been confined to his appearances in public. This
fact is very gratifying, and must plead an excuse for the rather
irregular appearance of the subjoined report.

(To the Editor of the "--Herald," Neiv York.)

Having received your instructions to seek an audience with Mr.
Gladstone, Your Own Interviewer immediately journeyed to
Ireland, and presented himself before

The Greatest Statesman oe the Nineteenth Century.
Mr. Gladstone wa3 a little out of temper, and asked Your Own
Interviewer what he wanted. Your Own Interviewer immediately
replied that he had come to ask him several questions of the greatest
international importance. For instance, he would like to know

What Mr. Gladstone thought adout Ireland.

The Great Man returned that he believed Ireland to be a part of the
United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. Although pressed
to add something more to his rather meagre answer, Mr. Gladstone
refused to augment his statement with any

Further Information oe Importance.
Your Own Interviewer then questioned Mr. Gladstone about Home
Pule. The Great Man turned his back, and begged to be relieved
of Your Own Interviewer's presence. As this was not at all satis-
factory, Your Own Interviewer suggested that

Home Rule was a Sham and a Delusion!
Although this suggestion was repeated several times, it failed to
produce any comment so far as Mr. Gladstone was concerned. The

Great Mau seemed very displeased, and made a movement as if he
would leave the room. Your Own Interviewer, acting with charac-
teristic decision, rushed to the door and turned the key, and in a
moment

Mr. Gladstone had become a close Prisoner in the Centre

oe Ireland !

The Great Man upon t\m explained that he had determined not to
lose his temper, and that, consequently, he should quietly accept
the situation. From the appearance of Mr. Gladstone's counte-
nance, it was Your Own Correspondent's opinion that

The British Statesman Disdained to resent this dastardly

Outrage.

Your Oivn Interviewer produced his note-book, and mentioning
that he considered " silence to give consent," expressed his opinion

that

Mr. Gladstone believed Ireland to be in a very bad way !

The Great Man took no notice of this remark. Not at all dis-
heartened by Mr. Gladstone's reticence, Your Own Interviewer
observed that, from what he knew of the institutions of America, he
was sure that

Ireland could only be saved bt annexation to the
United States !

At this point Your Own Interviewer discovered that the Great Man
was fast asleep. He rose from his chair, and, gently blowing a fog-
horn in the slumbering Statesman's ear, soon restored him to
consciousness. From the expression upon his countenance, he was
quite sure that

Me. Gladstone had never been more astonished in his life!

Unhappily, the noise of the fog-horn attracted the attention of the
household, who rushed to the Great Man's assistance. The door was
forced open, and Your Own Interviewer had only time to express a
wish that

Mr. Gladstone would soon become a Contributor to the
New York Herald,

before he was taken by the shoulders, removed from the apartment,
forced down-stairs, and (to put it concisely) kicked oiit.

BLUES AND YELLOWS.

On the evening of Monday last week, the birthday of Edward
the Sixth, founder of Christ's Hospital, certain Gentlemen, formerly
educated there, constituting the "Society of Blues," celebrated
that anniversary by dining together at the Albion, Aldersgate
Street, under the Presidency of the Rev. R. Lee, M.A., the Head
Master. The banquet was followed by a number of toasts and speeches,
but in the latter a topic of peculiar interest seems to have been left
untouched. Nobody either asked or explained why the Blueeoat
Boys continue doomed to go about in the grotesque costume which
renders them objects of pity to the sympathetic and of derision to
the inconsiderate spectator, also subjecting them too often to the
unfeeling chaff of other youth clad in modern and customary attire.
In connection with this subject it may be asked, Wherefore, if the
reason why a miller wears a white hat be recognised, does a Blueeoat
Schoolboy run about with his head uncovered in the cold ? All that
can be said in answer to this inquiry is, that his cap has somehow
come to be too small for the head it must once, one would think, have
been meant to cover.

An Additional Postage-Stamp.

Live Colorado Beetles having been detected in mails received
from the United States, whence fools have sent them to this country
secreted, in letters and newspapers, the American postmasters, at the
instance of the British Government, have been instructed to look
out for the Potato-bug, and detain all packets in which it may be
found. A good way to put a stop to the transmission of these dan-
gerous insects by post, alive, would perhaps be to stamp every letter
with a special machine constructed for the purpose of stamping flat
not only the letter but any Colorado Beetle which might be contained
in it.

Victor Hugo Junior.

Mr. Charles Reade has lately come to the front in his usual warm-
hearted, impulsive style. Inone paper he has been bravely summoning
Judge and Jury to the bar of public opinion, while in another
he has been instructing a brother dramatist how to protect himself
against American piracy. A friend in need will find a friend in
Reade. _____

Nautical Title for the Female Novel-Reader—The Skipper!