Punch (73.1877)

October 27, 1877.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 181

CONSIDERATE.

Mistress (on coming home from, the Seaside). "Why, Jane, what's become of
the Bullfinch ?"

Jane. " Well, you see, It'll, it didn't Sing much, and looked Droopin'
like, so Cook put it out of its Misery, an' I 'ad it Stuffed foe my 'At !"

THE MARSHAL MACMAHON.

Air—" The Widow Moloney

Did ye hear of the Marshal Mac Mahon,

MacMahon !
The head of a mighty consarn P

Ye '11 larn,
Sure he thought he would be
At the top of the tree,
But he isn't, this Marshal MacMahon,

MacMahon !
But he isn't, this Marshal MacMahon !

And Misther Gambetta so bold,

I'm told,
Said his Opposition would hold

"When poll'd,
" If my three-sixty-three
Aren't four hundred," said he,
" I own I shall be rather sold,

Yes, sold,
I own I shall feel rather sold."

And the Marshal they all thought so sly,

For why ':
Found that he on but few could rely,

My eye!
And the three-sixty-three
Were three-twenty may be,
No great triumph, no small victory .'

-ory!

No great triumph, no small victory .'

Says France to the Marshal MacMahon,

MacMahon !
" From this, moderation ye '11 larn,

MacMahon !
Gambktta the same ;
SureT '11 think ye to blame
If the lesson ye both fail to larn,

To larn,

Both Gameetta and Marshal MacMahon."

bail way enterprise in china.

On and after the 31st October next, the service on the
Woosung Line will be conducted entirely by gunpowder
trains.

A POET ON LEGAL PROCEDURE.

Mr. Punch, feeling that certain circumstances connected with
a recent trial may have shaken the belief of some of his readers in
the majesty of English judicial procedure, has thought it as well to
apply to a distinguished foreign pen, accustomed to dispose, with
ease, of all national and social difficulties, for a few assuring lines
upon the subj ect.

Mr. Punch is happy to say that he has received them from Paris
by return of post, and has therefore much pleasure, in subjoining
them as under:—

" A criminal is before you, and you will acquit him. And why ?
Because the acquitted criminal is the antithesis of the Judge. To
rob the Judge of his antithesis, is to insult the equanimity of the
outsider. And the outsider is of age. The Usher would hesitate to
say to him, ' My view;' the Lord Chancellor would not dare to say
to him, ' My judgment.' For the Usher and the Lord Chancellor
are two Poles. They are the two Poles of conflicting opinion.
Opinion is not evidence. Evidence is the prerogative of the exa-
mining counsel. The examining counsel makes evidence, and the
Judge makes notes. The examining counsel conferring with the
Judge is the apotheosis of irregular procedure. But it is magnifi-
cent. It'is Ingenuity kissing Intelligence. And it is this spectacle
that startles the Jury. To expect nothing of the Jury, would be to
disfranchise experience. And why ? Because they have something
to give. The something they have to give us is their verdict. Do
we thank them ? No ! But we may pity. Fatigued, dusty, given
to distractions, the Juryman smiles superbly, and works miracles
in the field of new law and the field of astonishment. But his
situation creates his conclusion. The conclusion of the Juryman is
the triumph of discomfort over fog.

" And do they manage these things better in France ? Yes!
How ? _ It is by confabulation. For the criminal to escape confabu-
lation is for him to be deprived of the severest of chastisements.

But the chastisement of the accused is the vindication of the Law.
The accused engaged in confabulation with the accuser is Derelic-
tion taking tea with Justice. Will you find this in England ? No !
In Paris ? Yes ! For Paris leads England by her civilisation, her
cafes, her triumphs, her diners d deux francs, her logic, her
omnibuses, and her destiny. When Paris takes off her boots,
England is comfortable.

"FTUR AD ASTRA."

The following advertisement recently appeared in the Daily
Teh graph : —

rpHEATEES. —Three PERSONS who have never acted WANTED to
-L support Star Actor. Salary given. Apply, by letter only, to Dra-
maticus, &c.

What an original notion for a Star Actor to have hit upon'
Fancy Mr. Irving supported by three "PERSONS" who had
never acted before in their lives! What does "Salary given"
mean ? It ought, of course, to mean that a salary would be given
to the eminent Star by the Three Persons in question. This, at
least, would be a practical way of "supporting" the Star, for
they surely can't expect a Star to support them off the Stage with a
salary, in return for the support which they would give him on the
Stage. Perhaps it has all been arranged by this time, but if not, there
is still a chance for Mr. Irving or Mr. J. L. Toole (now twinkling
in the provinces) to pick up a few faithful supporters—if the terms
suit. They have only to apply to " Dramaticus." And what a
queer sort of 'cuss " Dramaticus " must be !

just sew.

The latest suggestion for what to do with, Cleopatra's Needle—
Leave it with Mr. Alderman Cotton.

vol. lxxiti.

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