Punch (73.1877)

252

PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[December 1, 1877.

TO THE WORLD AT LARGE.

TREADING SAUCE! BEADING SAUCE ! READING SAUCE is
J-t nothing to HEADING PUNCH'S POCKET-BOOK for 1878. Just
out.

WHY GIVE MORE? when the price of Punch's Pocket-Book is only
two and sixpence. Half-a-crown each on taking a quantity, and a
considerable reduction of your capital on taking a quantity.

BREAKFAST IN BED.—To the luxurious and the physically weak
nothing is so delightful as this meal in the bed-room. But to make
the enjoyment perfect, and to exhilarate the mind as well as refresh the body,
while taking your tea and toast read Punch's Pocket-Book for 1878.

TMPROVED CHEST-EXPANDER.—Nothing is so healthy as to
-L expand the chest with a hearty laugh. Buy Punch's Pocket-Book.
Price 2s. Gd. Just out.

DOES YOUR HAIR TURN GREY ?-Of course it will, unless you
immediately purchase Punch's Pocket-Book for 1878.

TO LADIES IN POLITE SOCIETY.—All the latest fashions, and
all the intelligence absolutely indispensable for the most entertaining
conversation, is to be found in Punch's Pocket-Book for 1878.

HTHE SIMPLICITY BILLIARD TABLE provides you with the
-L _ opportunity of losing £1000 any day of the week, but this you will not
do if, instead of playing billiards, of which you know nothing, you occupy
yourself with Punch's Pocket-Book for 1878, which only costs 2*. Gd. Now
ready.

THE LUMINARIUM. DAYLIGHT FOR THE MILLION!—
Everyone daylighted with Punch's Pocket-Book for 1878.

rriHE INEXTINGUISHABLE IS JUST OUT ! ! "—This scientific
J- phenomenon can only be explained by purchasing Punch's Pocket-Book
for 1878. Price 2s. Gd.

History Repeats Itself.

We owe the following interesting piece of information to a Con-
temporary :—

" "Who would have thought that Spain would start the newest idea at the
French Exhibition next year, and that of a decidedly gay if not ' fast' type.
The beautiful women of the world are to be invited to send their portraits,
which will be on view in the sections appointed to different races, and a
jury of artists and poets, consisting of two members from each nation repre-
sented, will pronounce the verdict."

This will, indeed, be another " Judgment of Paris," on an Inter-
national scale.

COMING ON OR OFF.

The recent feat of walking four thousand quarters of a mile in
four thousand consecutive periods of ten minutes having failed to
kill Mr. Gale, the following interesting " events" are in course of
arrangement:—

Mr. Alderman Gobble to eat thirty-six basins of turtle-soup,
thick and thin alternately, in thirty-six hours.

Miss Floba Dashaway to dance forty-six round dances before
supper in the same evening.

Herr Illi-Robub to cross from Folkestone to Boulogne and back
eight times in a week.

Mr. A. S. de Longeabs to stay a month under water in the diving-
bell of the Polytechnic.

The Hon. Mrs. Quiveblsh to attend all the murder trials at the
Old Bailey for six Sessions of the Central Criminal Court without
fainting, or the use of a smelling-bottle.

Miss Skippee to read one hundred and thirty-six new Novels from
Mudie's, in a fortnight.

Captain De Boots, of the Horse Guards Green, to ride two thousand
consecutive journeys on the knifeboard of an omnibus between
Brompton and Islington.

Mrs. Lylley Payhteb to dye her hair ten different shades between
May and August, with such nice gradations as not to justify a
remark.

Mr. and Mrs. Scatteecash to live at the rate of three thousand
a year out of an income of three hundred, for three consecutive
Seasons, without winding up in the Court of Bankruptcy.

And Mr. Hanwell de Colney Hatch to live twenty-nine years
in* a bathing-machine moored oft' Heme Bay, and at the end of
the time to produce an Index to a complete edition of Beadshaw's
Railway Guide from the first year of its publication.

"When shall we Three meet again?"

Of all unlikely advertisements commend Punch to one in last
Saturday's Times, addressed to all "descendants of Richabd
Bbinsley Shebidan, dramatist, who married three wives, and died
about 1816." The advertiser might have added, " after writing the
School for Scandal and other plays which had some success in their
time, and even in ours." This wonderful advertisement is headed
"Sheridan Money," (!) and it directs applications to "Ireland."
Money, and Shebidan, and Ireland, is a "concatenation"—not
" accordingly," but disaccordingly.

Bettering the Instruction.

When Bismaeck shut up Paris
" Cuire dans son propre /ws,"

He little dreamed the Marshal
Would from him take his cue,

And leave the Chamber of Deputies
In its own Gbevy to stew.

What's in the Name?

TnE Marshal's new Minister of War is General Rochebouet. The
name is a compound of Roche, Rock, and Roue, Mud. Is the man
like his name, and is that name prophetic P If so, which of its
elements should tell most—the Rock—of resistance to political right
and reason ;—the Mud—of going down in a quicksand that gives no
foothold ?

the beal chabiot of victoby.

In her Triumph, for bearing
The trophies of Mars,

See Russia preparing,
At last, inside Ears !

The Government of Combat.

Napoleon the Third's despatch after the battle of Forbach began
with the announcement—" Le Marechal MacMahon a perdu une
hataille:'1 That loss was no discredit to the gallant Marshal.
He lost that battle fighting for his country. If he loses his present
battle, it will be fighting against his country.

synonymous, bet not identical.

Me. A. Sullivan's " call to the Irish Bar" does not mean that he
has joined Messrs. Pabnell, Biggae & Co. in the House.