Punch (78.1880)

January 31, 1880.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

47

MATTER OF TASTE.

Conductor (putting his head inside). “Only room for One, which shall we ’aye ? ”

Stout Old Gentleman. “The Little One ! ” Nice Young Gentleman. “The Pretty One ! ”

MORE CARDS ALREADY!

The mighty Marcus, scarcely breathed
From sleet of Christmas Card,

In card-house of St. Valentine
Holds us again at Ward !

With Hearts and Darts, and Loves and Doves,
And floating Fays and Flowers,

Weaving us, three weeks in advance,

The daintiest of bowers!

With too much of them thrust on us,

E ’en soft sweet things seem hard.

Must Punch, must England, old and young,
Henceforth “ live by the card ” F

For ever on the watch for Ward,

Or rueing De la Rue,

Without whose cards in days of old
One wonders how time flew.

Those constant cards, that, weeks ahead,

Come knocking at our doors ;

So pretty, we can’t shut them out,

So thick, they pile our floors.

This card-play may he play to you,

In death to me may end,

Who have to fall in little loves
To whom your loves to send.

Forbear, 0 Ward, 0 De la Rue,

Draw your cards mild for me ;

Sufficient, surely, for the day
The card thereof should be!

Spite of the food your card-play finds
For printers, artists, bards,

Would that.the year, like Hymen’s lists,
Could be inscribed “No Cards! ”

“ OUR OPENING DAY.”

That Ministers may not be taken by surprise, Mr. Punch begs to
publish a list of subjects, as to which information will probably
have to be given before the close of the coming Session.

Lord Beaconsfield. — Exact definition required of a Scientific
Frontier—(a) in North Western India ; (b) in South Africa.

Lord Salisbury. — Further information desired relative to—(1)
Asia Minor; (2) Cyprus; and (3) Egyptian Finance.

Lord Cranbrook.—Explanation expected with regard to ‘‘ Rules
to be observed by Special Correspondents attached to armies in the
field.” (1.) Why they were made. (2.) Why they were rescinded.

Lord John Manners.—More light to be thrown, upon the relations
of the Post-Office Authorities and the Telephone.

Mr. W. W. LI. Smith.—Intelligence will oblige on the position of
the Royal Marine Artillery, and the Thunderer’’s surviving gun.

Colonel Stanley.—FuR explanation of the scheme for forming a
corps of Army Reserve Officers, and an outline of the future of the
Volunteers.

Mr. Cross.—Plea in confession and avoidance to charges of recent
jobs, and observations invited on Railway negligence in general, and
shunting accidents in particular.

First Commissioner of Public Works.—Production of any plans
that the Office may be prepared to recommend or consider for the
scavenging of streets, the planting and flowering of open spaces, and
information as to any shove that can be given to the rather slow
movement for the inscribing of street-names on street-lamps, for
the convenience of night-walkers or night-riders in London.

Secretary for Lr eland.—Statement of measures in contemplation
for relief of distressed districts.

And Chancellor of the Exchequer.—Any scheme he may be
prepared with for improving the condition of the Government Writers,,
and any standing order in contemplation for getting Irish Obstruction
out of the way.

Spelling Reform in Spain.—A pronunciamiento.