DOI Heft:
June 26, 1880
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17763#0295
June 26, 1880.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
291
LIVE WHILE YOU MAY.
Timid Passenger (as the Gale freshened). “ Is there ant Danger ? ”
Tar (ominously). ‘‘Well, them as likes a good Dinner had better hev it to-day ! ”
coat lined with satin; this he put on, stretched himself out on an easy
chair, and yawned comfortably. Then placing' the dexter finger of his
right hand against his' nose, thrusting his tongue in his cheek, and
closing one eye, he stepped on tiptoe across the room, and unlocked
the oak chest standing in a dark corner, labelled Sermons on Moral
Subjects ; thence he produced a new pinkish-coloured number of the
Sporting Times, the Referee itself, or an odd copy of it, with the
latest betting, and the newest number of La Vie Pamsienne (directed
to the Very Reverend the Archbeacon, under cover of the Foreign
Church Missionary Society’s official -wrapper); and from a secret
receptacle in the wall he brought out several volumes in yellow
paper covers, the works of such eminent ecclesiastical writers as
Daudet, Zola, Montepin, and other distinguished foreigners.
Having made his selection from these, he carefully replaced the
remainder in the drawer, and taking a very large cigar from a box
in a patent safe, he threw himself back in his arm-chair, and
prepared to enjoy his morning.
He had scarcely got to the hundredth page of his foreign litera-
ture, when he was aroused by a knock at the door. Jumping up with
the rapidity of lightning, he threw the end of his cigar into the fire,
the newspapers and books into the safe, taking care to lock it and.
put the hsy in his pocket; then he lighted a brazen pastille-burner
full of the strongest incense, crammed about a pound and a half of
anti-tobacco lozenges into his mouth, resumed his Archibiaconal coat
and apron, and before a third knock could be given he had seated
himself at his desk in the blandest way, requesting his unexpected
visitor to walk in.
The visitor was Mr. John Bounce, who in announcing himself,
informed Dr. Oveewayte that the door was still locked on the
inside.
“ Can’t see you,” was all the Archbeacon deigned to reply, as he
extinguished the incense and opened the window.
“ Of course you can’t,” was Mr. Bounce’s very natural rejoinder.
“Of course you can’t while there’s a wall and a locked door be-
tween us.”
The Archbeaeon threw the door open, and admitted the Reformer
of Small-Beerj ester.
“ What a horrid Bmell! ” he exclaimed. “ What’s the matter ? ”
“What does that signify to you?” inquired Dr. Oveewayte,
haughtily.
“ I don’t know,” replied Mr. Bounce, carelessly.
“You don’t?” rejoined the Archbeacon; “then I’ll tell you.
The odour that you have perceived signifies to you that I am justly
incensed at your conduct.”
“ How, Archbeacon 1 ”
“ How! By daring to come here, into my sanctum sanctorum,
disturbing me at my work, upsetting my calculations and medita-
tions, and—and—and—in short,”—and here he rang the bell—“get
out! ”
“But, Archbeacon-” began Mr. Bounce.
“Get out!” exclaimed Dr. Oveewayte, now thoroughly roused.
K Get out! I’m not at home.”
“ I am,” Mr. John Bounce retorted, with a jaunty air.
“ Are you? ” exclaimed the Archbeacon, who was by far the more
powerful man of the two. “Then—there! ” And lifting his leg
with such force as to burst two of his gaiter-buttons, he sent Mr.
John Bounce flying through the window on to the neatly-cropped
lawn. Then turning to the butler, who had answered the summons,
he said, “ I rang for you to show Mr. Bounce the door, but it is
unnecessary. You may retire.”
The Reformer and lover of Morleena, who was anxious to pro-
pitiate the man whom he fondly hoped to make his future brother-
in-law, rose from the ground, and leaning on the window-sill, said,
“I came here, Dr. Oveewayte, with the strongest feeling-•”
“ And you ’ll go away with the most painful,” laughed the Arch-
beacon.
“ You don’t know why I came,” continued Mr. John Bounce.
“ But I know how you’re going,” replied Dr. Oveewayte.
“ I assure you,” said John Bounce, almost choking with passion,
“that if it were not for the warmth of my attachment-”
This was more than Dr. Oveewayte could bear.
“Warmth!” he cried indignantly. “Here, boys! here’s a
gentleman wants cooling! ” and so saying, he clapped his hands
three times and closed the window, as a discharge from several
291
LIVE WHILE YOU MAY.
Timid Passenger (as the Gale freshened). “ Is there ant Danger ? ”
Tar (ominously). ‘‘Well, them as likes a good Dinner had better hev it to-day ! ”
coat lined with satin; this he put on, stretched himself out on an easy
chair, and yawned comfortably. Then placing' the dexter finger of his
right hand against his' nose, thrusting his tongue in his cheek, and
closing one eye, he stepped on tiptoe across the room, and unlocked
the oak chest standing in a dark corner, labelled Sermons on Moral
Subjects ; thence he produced a new pinkish-coloured number of the
Sporting Times, the Referee itself, or an odd copy of it, with the
latest betting, and the newest number of La Vie Pamsienne (directed
to the Very Reverend the Archbeacon, under cover of the Foreign
Church Missionary Society’s official -wrapper); and from a secret
receptacle in the wall he brought out several volumes in yellow
paper covers, the works of such eminent ecclesiastical writers as
Daudet, Zola, Montepin, and other distinguished foreigners.
Having made his selection from these, he carefully replaced the
remainder in the drawer, and taking a very large cigar from a box
in a patent safe, he threw himself back in his arm-chair, and
prepared to enjoy his morning.
He had scarcely got to the hundredth page of his foreign litera-
ture, when he was aroused by a knock at the door. Jumping up with
the rapidity of lightning, he threw the end of his cigar into the fire,
the newspapers and books into the safe, taking care to lock it and.
put the hsy in his pocket; then he lighted a brazen pastille-burner
full of the strongest incense, crammed about a pound and a half of
anti-tobacco lozenges into his mouth, resumed his Archibiaconal coat
and apron, and before a third knock could be given he had seated
himself at his desk in the blandest way, requesting his unexpected
visitor to walk in.
The visitor was Mr. John Bounce, who in announcing himself,
informed Dr. Oveewayte that the door was still locked on the
inside.
“ Can’t see you,” was all the Archbeacon deigned to reply, as he
extinguished the incense and opened the window.
“ Of course you can’t,” was Mr. Bounce’s very natural rejoinder.
“Of course you can’t while there’s a wall and a locked door be-
tween us.”
The Archbeaeon threw the door open, and admitted the Reformer
of Small-Beerj ester.
“ What a horrid Bmell! ” he exclaimed. “ What’s the matter ? ”
“What does that signify to you?” inquired Dr. Oveewayte,
haughtily.
“ I don’t know,” replied Mr. Bounce, carelessly.
“You don’t?” rejoined the Archbeacon; “then I’ll tell you.
The odour that you have perceived signifies to you that I am justly
incensed at your conduct.”
“ How, Archbeacon 1 ”
“ How! By daring to come here, into my sanctum sanctorum,
disturbing me at my work, upsetting my calculations and medita-
tions, and—and—and—in short,”—and here he rang the bell—“get
out! ”
“But, Archbeacon-” began Mr. Bounce.
“Get out!” exclaimed Dr. Oveewayte, now thoroughly roused.
K Get out! I’m not at home.”
“ I am,” Mr. John Bounce retorted, with a jaunty air.
“ Are you? ” exclaimed the Archbeacon, who was by far the more
powerful man of the two. “Then—there! ” And lifting his leg
with such force as to burst two of his gaiter-buttons, he sent Mr.
John Bounce flying through the window on to the neatly-cropped
lawn. Then turning to the butler, who had answered the summons,
he said, “ I rang for you to show Mr. Bounce the door, but it is
unnecessary. You may retire.”
The Reformer and lover of Morleena, who was anxious to pro-
pitiate the man whom he fondly hoped to make his future brother-
in-law, rose from the ground, and leaning on the window-sill, said,
“I came here, Dr. Oveewayte, with the strongest feeling-•”
“ And you ’ll go away with the most painful,” laughed the Arch-
beacon.
“ You don’t know why I came,” continued Mr. John Bounce.
“ But I know how you’re going,” replied Dr. Oveewayte.
“ I assure you,” said John Bounce, almost choking with passion,
“that if it were not for the warmth of my attachment-”
This was more than Dr. Oveewayte could bear.
“Warmth!” he cried indignantly. “Here, boys! here’s a
gentleman wants cooling! ” and so saying, he clapped his hands
three times and closed the window, as a discharge from several