Punch (73.1877)

Novembbb 10, 1877.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

209

was correct, that the Minstrel Boy was catching it heavily from
her (the singer in question) for having gone to the wars at all; in
fact, judging from her action, it seemed to me that she did not
believe in the Minstrel Boy having gone to the wars, hut that this
was simply a shabby excuse for getting away, and leaving her. I
own that if this is a misconception on my part, then it is my fault
for not being more thoroughly acquainted with the Minstrel Boy.

Then there was a Fair Scene, and " all the fun " of it was in the
sudden appearance of Messrs. Disraeli and Gladstone (two excellent
masks), both visiting Donnybrook (I suppose) at the same time,
accompanied by their friends, the Sultan and the Czar. Dizzy
and Gladstone were great fun, but the " People's William " was
hooted whenever he came on with the Czar, and was ultimately
removed by a shabby policeman; while Dizzy and the Turk were
cheered to the echo. (I wonder how this sort of thing would be
stood by my dear friend, the Marshal, in Paris !) So, with another
song, and more dancing, representing the sports and racing, at least
so I imagine, the Entertainment concluded, and I left long before
my companions, who were determined to stop it out, and had all
agreed to see the Rnral Dean home to his lodgings, where Sodor
and Mast still thought they might get a quiet Loo.

The remarkable thing about the Metropolitan audience (on this
night, at all events) was its respectability and decorum. Our Boys
have reached the 900th night of their apparently interminable run,
and Messrs. James and Thorne have come back to the original, parts,
first filled by them in a remote antiquity. Revivalism seems to be
up just now in the theatrical world. The New appears, in fact, An
Unequal Match for the Old.—I am now, as ever,

Yotjr Representative.

THE PERMISSIVE CARTE.

{To be left in the Coffee-Room of the futttre, for—those who like it.)

£ s. d.

Eau, Ordinaire {good condition)......0 10

Do. {filtered, Lipscombe's brand) . . ..016

Do. {Sparkling Serpentine) . . . .036

Barley-Water (1876. Sound)......0 3 0

Do. {Haute. 1872)...... 0 4 0

Do. {Grand Eau-Cabinet. 1842) . ..0 5 6

Sherbet {Excellent. Carte Blanche).....0 4 0

Do. [Superior Yellow Label).....,060

Toast-and-Water [Still).......0 3 6

Do. {Tres sec).......0 7 0

Do. {Imperial, Cremant) . . . . 0 10 6

Pop {from the Wood)........0 2 6

Do. {Cold in Bottle)........0 4 6

Do. {very Old and Tawny).......0 7 0

Do. {the " Comet Pop" in magnificent condition. Only

a few dozens left).......0 13 6

Apply to Wilfrid Lawson & Co. (Limited), Water Lane.

PICKING AND STEALING ?

Could not the Home Secretary resolve himself occasionally into
a Court of Criminal Appeal, to reconsider a summary conviction by
a Magistrate as well as a Judge's sentence. The Times' police
report, stating that William Lambotjrne, a small child, ten or eleven
years old, was sentenced by Mr. Baestow at Clerkenwell to twenty-
one days' imprisonment and hard labour for picking a house-leek
out of a flower-bed in St. Pancras Churchyard, passes uncon-
tradicted. If there is really no mistake about it, surely Mr.'Cross
might, long ere now, with no excess of lenity, have advised Her
Most Gracious Majesty to remit the remainder of a somewhat
severe punishment awarded to a very juvenile offender. Had he
known of it in time, might not the infant's sentence have been
commuted for a good talking-to, or, at the utmost, a judicious
parental flogging. Such a sentence is not like Mr. Baestow, who
has always shown himself a discreet and kindly, as well as pains-
taking and intelligent, Magistrate. In this case, however, as it
stands on the report, the Clerkenwell Beak seema to have been
over-sharp for once._

Gigantic Journals.

Oe two great Metropolitan morning newspapers, one advertises
itself as commanding the " Largest Circulation in the World," and
the other, in like manner, claims a " World-Wide Circulation."
Both of them are published within the City of London. Might not
these giants be called the Gog and Magog of journalism ?

Cheap Jack.—Evidently not Sir John Bennett.

PUNCH TO HIS PRINCE.

Albert Edward, Prince of "Wales. Punch, Prince of Mirth.
Born November, 1841. Born July, 1841.

My Prince! on this, thy natal day,

'Tis meet that Punch should homage pay

His Royal Brother!
The fateful year that gave thee birth
Gave Princes twain to glad the earth—

Thee, and another;
A Prince of Wales, a Prince of Mirth,

To cheer each other.

Together, though apart, we've grown
From childhood up ; and each has known

Affliction's stings:
I in my craft, thou by the Throne

Of England's Kings.
Nor Rank nor Wit can stay Death's hand,
Nor hold the ever-ebbing sand

Of Life's hour-glass;
We can but, brave and patient, stand,

And let it pass.

With joy and sorrow, weal and woe,
This chequered life jogs on ; and so

The world keeps rolling !
While stars have set, fresh stars have shone;
New friends replace the old ones gone—

Our grief consoling;
And marriage-bells ring on and on

Through death-knells tolling!

Eain Punch would wish thee, on this day,
Some special wish. What shall he say ?

All Fortune's store
Is thine to grasp ; rank, wealth, and all
That poets dream, is at thy call.

What wouldst thou more ?
A peerless wife stands by thy side,
All pure as gold in furnace tried,

Without alloy.
Thy children are a Nation's pride,

And Punch's joy.
Having at Home such perfect bliss.
What can Punch wish thee more than this,

With all his wit ?
That as thou wear'st upon thy crest
Thy Father's motto—" Erra unU Jtst!"

Thou live by it. lP®N(S;p?.

A Flying Visit.—In a report of Mr. Gladstone's adventures m
Wicklow, a newspaper states that at Shillelagh Station he and his
party were conveyed by carriages waiting for them to Coolattm
Park. So that, in fact, our gentle Woodman remained at Shillelagh
only just long enough to cut his stick.