Punch: Punch (38.1860)

22

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[January 14, 1860.

THE MANUALS.

Sergeant (in a breath). “ Present—Arms ! AttliwordWonnseizethrifletthloowerbar
ndraisin’tfeivinchesbyslightlybeiidintkriglitarrnbiU’thouttnovingtlibarrelfrovitheshouldei-'nds
lepthethoomb’tlii'ightkanidundertlicorclcfengersunderth’gyardt’thfrwitslantindoicmvardsbo
Piarmscloset’thcboodyleftharndsq uaret' thdeftelber’—so—tha'sally ergottodcw—”

(Spriggins thinks it does not look so difficult as it sounds.)

TRANSLATION OF THE ABOVE.

Sergeant (in a breath). “Present—Arms!—At tli teovd Wonn, seize tit rifle ’t tli
toower bamd, raisin' 'l few inches by slightly benclin’ th’ right arm but ’thout moving th’
bcm-el from the shoulder,'nd slep the thoomb o' th’ right haimd under th' corck, fengers
under tli gyaixl t’ th' front, slantin' doicnuxirds both arms close t’ tli boody, left harnd
square t’ tli left elber’—so—tha’s all yer got to dew.”

A STRIKE IN THE PARLOUR.

The wife of a distinguished Private in one of the Civil
Service Rifle Corps has struck for an increase of house-
keeping money; for she says her husband comes home now
with such an enormous appetite after having been two
hours at drill, that it is utterly impossible to provide the
dinners for the same allowance that she has hitherto done.
Suppers, too, were formerly an unknown thing in her
establishment; but now, regularly three times a-week,
her lord and master complains of being so hungry before
going to bed, that the tray has to be brought up pur-
posely for him. His consumption is full three times
greater than it was before he became a Yolunteer. It is,
therefore, under these indisputable facts,—to prove which
butchers’ and bakers’ bills can be brought forward in
scores too formidable to admit of a sneer, or much less a
denial,—that an increase of the home estimates has been
peremptorily demanded; and we believe that matters have
reached such an alarming height in the establishment in
question, that the lady has found it necessary to make a
special appeal to her respected mother-in-law to induce
her to interfere in the matter, with a view of arbitrating
upon it, and getting it properly settled as it ought to be.

It was only yesterday, we are informed, that this poor
unfortunate Yolunteer, whose appetite is seemingly far
beyond his control, finished a leg of mutton almost by
himself; and the worst is, with the small Government
pittance which as an underpaid Government clerk he draws,
that this is a degree of voraciousness which he can ill
afford. Prom the additional exercise that he has lately
been taking, his appetite has completely outgrown the
small size of his means, which at the best of times was
always a tight fit; but now shortly it will be quite impos-
sible for him, without pulling in a great deal, to make both
ends meet, if he goes on much longer at the same extra-
vagant rate. What with the drilling he gets abroad, and
the drilling he gets when he goes home, his present life
will soon be too much for him ; though the latter, it
must be confessed, though carried out with the greatest
severity, has not the slightest effect in diminishing the
enormous powers of demolition sharpened to an unnatural
degree by the former.

An Admiral Adrift.

We understand that Admiral Bowles (who is said to
have “ resigned,” but, it is believed, was in reality bowled
out) excuses his late conduct on the plea of the old
proverb that “They who play with Bowles must expect
to meet with rubbers.”

The singing of a kettle in one respect resembles the
singing of a stage singer. An attempt to overdo it will be
followed by a hiss.

ST. LUKE'S AND BEDLAM.

On Wednesday evening, last week, took place the Annual Christmas
Ball of the patients in St. Luke’s Hospital. On the previous day the
Roman Catholics of London met together at the Hanover Square
Rooms, to express sympathy with the Pope, and antipathy to Lord
Palmerston, Lord John Russell, and Louis Napoleon. The
former assembly, we are informed by the report of it in the Times, was
characterised by the utmost good order and strict decorum. At the
•latter, the language employed by the principal speakers afforded evi-
dence of violent delusions. Mr. Richard Keeley, the Chairman,
•vituperated “the publisher of Punch,” A letter, said to have been
written by Lord Pielding, was read, declaring that the Pope had
been driven from Rome in 184S by the Government of Lord John
Russell, which had supplied the chiefs of the Revolution with money
■at the rate of half-a-dollar a day. Another letter, attributed to Mr.
M. J. Rhodes, denounced the constitutional movement in Italy in
outrageous terms. Mr. H. J. Prendergast delivered a long harangue,
dn which he insisted not merely that “ the Pope had exercised his tem-
poral power most discreetly, religiously, and humanely,” but even
that his great fault in the eyes of English Protestants was, that he
r L?0TTa v at a;”—the orator evidently having confounded the idea
ot his Holiness with that of the Immaculate Conception. Mr. Brett
moved an inconsistent resolution, which affirmed, in a roundabout way,
the belie! of Catholics in the independence of the Pope’s spiritual

authority on his temporal power; and also their opinion that the one
could not be duly exercised apart from the other.. The proceedings
came to a conclusion attended with the characteristic incident thus
reported

“ The meeting was subsequently addressed by Mb. Harper, who formerly held
high preferment iu the Established Church, and during whose speech Mr. T. A.
Malone, a lecturer on chemistry and a Catholic, who had ventured to say the Pope
would be freer in Ireland than in Rome, received some very rough usage indeed at
the hands of somo violent partisans near the door. He was struck violently in the
eye, forced from the room, and lost his hat in the milee.”

In all particulars that may be considered as indications of right
mind, the assemblage at St. Luke’s had manifestly very much the
advantage of the gathering at Hanover Square. The latter appears to
have included some persons who were positively dangerous. The
whole number of people present was. about 2,000. It is probable that
the institution, whose inmates exhibit so favourable a contrast by the
side of those other parties, would not hold so many patients as these
amount to, or else the right persons would have been in the right
places if they had all taken part in the quiet ball of the night following
the day of their excited demonstration, and had stayed where they
were after it was over. As it was, they were dancing-mad. It would
be something quite in their own way, to sacrifice a little time at the
shrine, and partake for a season of the hospitality, of St. Luke,

Eowl Play.—Chicken Hazard,