DOI issue:
January 28, 1860
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16865#0041
Jam oaky 28, I860.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
33
A PILL FOR THE POPE.
Doctor Louis Napoleon lias prescribed a bitter pill
for his Holiness the Pope. Saith the Doctor: “ Your
Holiness has been for a lon^ period in a very disturbed
state. Your constitution has in fact been thoroughly upset.
Something you have taken has plainly disagreed with you,
and irritation and uneasiness have been naturally produced.
Your symptoms show an absence of quiet and repose, with-
out which we can none of us expect to be in health. I do
not wish to frighten you, but there is no doubt that your
system has been shaken, and you are altogether in a very
weakened state. Clearly something must be done for
your relief and restoration, or there is no saying what
your Holiness may suffer.
“Par be it from me to make your Holiness feel nervous,
but unless something be done Revolution must ensue, and
ere long Dissolution will stare you in the face. However,
there is time as yet to save your Holiness, if your Holiness
will act on the advice which I will give you. I have
devoted much disinterested attention to your case, and am
thoroughly acquainted with its diagnosis. Let me then
prescribe for you, free gratis and for nothing: there is no
other state physician so well qualified to do so. What
your Holiness requires is a state of more repose, and to
ensure yourself tranquillity, your Holiness has clearly but
one course to pursue. This simply is, to take the mild form
of emetic which I venture to prescribe, and to throw up
the things which so long have been disturbing you; I
mean, to speak more plainly, your now revolted provinces.
The course may be a painful one, but it is Hobson’s
choice. In point of fact, I really see no other left for you.
That it will do you good, I entertain no doubt, indeed I
quite believe that it will set you on your legs again.”
This is certainly a somewhat bitter pill to take; but
make wry faces as he may, his Holiness will clearly have
to gulp it down.
MARK, WOODCOCK!
Just as our friend Crack shot gets into the very thickest of the shooting, he hears a cry
of “ Coch 1” and his excited fancy fills th'e air with “ Long-beaks.”
Materials for History.
The report that Mr. Cox, whose accuracy was put
to the test in the little matter of Wat Tyler, was to com.
plete Lord Macaulay’s History of England, is at least
! premature, though it certainly is a fact; that is to say, like
' all the facts of that honourable gentleman in connection
I with historical matters, it is a pure fiction.
POLITICS AND PETTICOATS.
“ My Dear Mr. Punch, “ Cato Cottage, Clapham.
“ You so very often ridicule us poor weak women, and more
especially the stronger-minded of the sex, that I declare I’m half
afraid of writing to you seriously, for fear you ’ll print my letter for
the sake of making fun of me, and set some of your young men to cut
it up and sneer at it, although of course you know that it’s written to
you privately, and never was intended for sprinted composition. How-
ever, I must write, whatever mean advantage you may take of my so
doing. I can’t let that dear duck and darling of an Empress be
laughed at by you men for her Crinoline absurdities, as you are pleased
to term them, without calling your attention to a most convincing
proof that she devotes herself to far more serious pursuits, and is a
great stateswoman as well as a good dresser. If you doubt me, read
this passage from the Illustrated News, where it recently appeared
with the account of a new bonnet, and other highly interesting and
most important French intelligence ;—
“ The Empress EugLnie has assisted fur the last few days at the Council of Minis-
ters presided over by the Emperor.”
“ There now, Mr. Punch, what say you to that, Sir! Only think,
that sweet Eugenie assisting at a Council, not of milliners and
bonnet-makers, but of veritable councillors and ministers of state.
‘Assisting,’ you observe, Sir! It was not merely her presence, but
assistance that they wanted. Although the Emperor presided, these
great statesmen could not possibly get on without the Empress.
Sages as they were, they found themselves in need of her superior
sagacity. Even her husband, yon perceive. Sir, ranked in their eyes of
less consequence. He simply was their president, and for form’s sake
I dare say, took the first seat at their table. Bat by rights, I think
that Eugenie ought clearly to have sat there, for it is plainly stated
that she was of assistance to them, whereas nothing of the kind is even
hinted of the Emperor, and for all that one is told, I believe they
would have got on just as well without him.
“ At any rate, I trust, Sir, that with this convincing proof of how
that dear delightful duck of an Empress spends her time, you will in
future give her credit for doing something more than trying on new
dresses, and deciding what dimensions shall be considered fashionable.
Now that you have heard of her ‘assisting’ at State Councils, you
will call her something more than Empress of the Eashions, and
believe that she has something else to occupy her mind than decreeing
what costumes are to be worn at Court, and whether the new suits
which visitors must bring with them are to be one dozen or six dozen
per diem.
“ I would not encroach. Sir, on your valuable space, but I cannot
help just saying, that it would in my opinion be a good thing for the
country, if our Ministers would take example by the French, and
summon in a woman to assist them in the Council-Chamber. Her
Majesty I know is occasionally present, and when they’ve made a
bungle (which of course they’re always doing), she most graciously
and kindly lends her aid to help them out of it. Bat I consider it
would be of great advantage to the Government if the better halves of
Ministers were regularly present, and assisted at all sittings of their
lesser moieties. Yon men fancy that we women have minds only fit to
think about composing a new dress, or ordering a dinner ; but if you
only knew us better, you would find we’ve souls far, iar above mere
Crinoline and cookery, and could come out as extensively in politics
as petticoats.
“ At least so thinks one whose name until, to aid him in his councils,
some stupid husband changes it, is
“ Xantippe Rose Sophia Sopiionisba Smith.”
Mr. Roebuck, I remember, once confessed
darling,
t perfectly convinced that if Woman had her rights she ought
have a Vote. If I were either of the Ladies Palmerston
or
“P.S. That
that he felt
to ._
Punch, I would not let my husband rest till he had promised he would
get a law made that should give her one.
“ P.P.S. Do you know—I ask in confidence; is Mr. Roebuck mar-
ried ? If not, will you tell me; has he got red hair ? and would you call
his nose a classically chiselled one ? ”
Vol. 38.
2
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
33
A PILL FOR THE POPE.
Doctor Louis Napoleon lias prescribed a bitter pill
for his Holiness the Pope. Saith the Doctor: “ Your
Holiness has been for a lon^ period in a very disturbed
state. Your constitution has in fact been thoroughly upset.
Something you have taken has plainly disagreed with you,
and irritation and uneasiness have been naturally produced.
Your symptoms show an absence of quiet and repose, with-
out which we can none of us expect to be in health. I do
not wish to frighten you, but there is no doubt that your
system has been shaken, and you are altogether in a very
weakened state. Clearly something must be done for
your relief and restoration, or there is no saying what
your Holiness may suffer.
“Par be it from me to make your Holiness feel nervous,
but unless something be done Revolution must ensue, and
ere long Dissolution will stare you in the face. However,
there is time as yet to save your Holiness, if your Holiness
will act on the advice which I will give you. I have
devoted much disinterested attention to your case, and am
thoroughly acquainted with its diagnosis. Let me then
prescribe for you, free gratis and for nothing: there is no
other state physician so well qualified to do so. What
your Holiness requires is a state of more repose, and to
ensure yourself tranquillity, your Holiness has clearly but
one course to pursue. This simply is, to take the mild form
of emetic which I venture to prescribe, and to throw up
the things which so long have been disturbing you; I
mean, to speak more plainly, your now revolted provinces.
The course may be a painful one, but it is Hobson’s
choice. In point of fact, I really see no other left for you.
That it will do you good, I entertain no doubt, indeed I
quite believe that it will set you on your legs again.”
This is certainly a somewhat bitter pill to take; but
make wry faces as he may, his Holiness will clearly have
to gulp it down.
MARK, WOODCOCK!
Just as our friend Crack shot gets into the very thickest of the shooting, he hears a cry
of “ Coch 1” and his excited fancy fills th'e air with “ Long-beaks.”
Materials for History.
The report that Mr. Cox, whose accuracy was put
to the test in the little matter of Wat Tyler, was to com.
plete Lord Macaulay’s History of England, is at least
! premature, though it certainly is a fact; that is to say, like
' all the facts of that honourable gentleman in connection
I with historical matters, it is a pure fiction.
POLITICS AND PETTICOATS.
“ My Dear Mr. Punch, “ Cato Cottage, Clapham.
“ You so very often ridicule us poor weak women, and more
especially the stronger-minded of the sex, that I declare I’m half
afraid of writing to you seriously, for fear you ’ll print my letter for
the sake of making fun of me, and set some of your young men to cut
it up and sneer at it, although of course you know that it’s written to
you privately, and never was intended for sprinted composition. How-
ever, I must write, whatever mean advantage you may take of my so
doing. I can’t let that dear duck and darling of an Empress be
laughed at by you men for her Crinoline absurdities, as you are pleased
to term them, without calling your attention to a most convincing
proof that she devotes herself to far more serious pursuits, and is a
great stateswoman as well as a good dresser. If you doubt me, read
this passage from the Illustrated News, where it recently appeared
with the account of a new bonnet, and other highly interesting and
most important French intelligence ;—
“ The Empress EugLnie has assisted fur the last few days at the Council of Minis-
ters presided over by the Emperor.”
“ There now, Mr. Punch, what say you to that, Sir! Only think,
that sweet Eugenie assisting at a Council, not of milliners and
bonnet-makers, but of veritable councillors and ministers of state.
‘Assisting,’ you observe, Sir! It was not merely her presence, but
assistance that they wanted. Although the Emperor presided, these
great statesmen could not possibly get on without the Empress.
Sages as they were, they found themselves in need of her superior
sagacity. Even her husband, yon perceive. Sir, ranked in their eyes of
less consequence. He simply was their president, and for form’s sake
I dare say, took the first seat at their table. Bat by rights, I think
that Eugenie ought clearly to have sat there, for it is plainly stated
that she was of assistance to them, whereas nothing of the kind is even
hinted of the Emperor, and for all that one is told, I believe they
would have got on just as well without him.
“ At any rate, I trust, Sir, that with this convincing proof of how
that dear delightful duck of an Empress spends her time, you will in
future give her credit for doing something more than trying on new
dresses, and deciding what dimensions shall be considered fashionable.
Now that you have heard of her ‘assisting’ at State Councils, you
will call her something more than Empress of the Eashions, and
believe that she has something else to occupy her mind than decreeing
what costumes are to be worn at Court, and whether the new suits
which visitors must bring with them are to be one dozen or six dozen
per diem.
“ I would not encroach. Sir, on your valuable space, but I cannot
help just saying, that it would in my opinion be a good thing for the
country, if our Ministers would take example by the French, and
summon in a woman to assist them in the Council-Chamber. Her
Majesty I know is occasionally present, and when they’ve made a
bungle (which of course they’re always doing), she most graciously
and kindly lends her aid to help them out of it. Bat I consider it
would be of great advantage to the Government if the better halves of
Ministers were regularly present, and assisted at all sittings of their
lesser moieties. Yon men fancy that we women have minds only fit to
think about composing a new dress, or ordering a dinner ; but if you
only knew us better, you would find we’ve souls far, iar above mere
Crinoline and cookery, and could come out as extensively in politics
as petticoats.
“ At least so thinks one whose name until, to aid him in his councils,
some stupid husband changes it, is
“ Xantippe Rose Sophia Sopiionisba Smith.”
Mr. Roebuck, I remember, once confessed
darling,
t perfectly convinced that if Woman had her rights she ought
have a Vote. If I were either of the Ladies Palmerston
or
“P.S. That
that he felt
to ._
Punch, I would not let my husband rest till he had promised he would
get a law made that should give her one.
“ P.P.S. Do you know—I ask in confidence; is Mr. Roebuck mar-
ried ? If not, will you tell me; has he got red hair ? and would you call
his nose a classically chiselled one ? ”
Vol. 38.
2