DOI issue:
March 17, 1860
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16865#0117
March 17, 1S60.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
109
place will be down shortly; and architects had better be getting their
drawing-boards and set-squares in ordpr for the next competition.
The Home Secretary, in answer to Cardinal Wiseman’s Cross-
bearer, Mr. Bowyer, referred to a case in which a Catholic priest had
been committed to prison for refusing to say where he got a stolen
watch, and pleading the Confessional. Sir George, confirmed by Sir
Eitzroy Kelly, distinctly declared that Confession communications
were not privileged by law. The Priests had better note this, and not
receive stolen goods in future, even, as this gentleman did, for the
sake of making restitution. Sam Sltcx: then made a violent onslaught
upon Mr. Gladstone for being “ sneering, and supercilious, and
taunting, and contemptuous,” about the Timber Duties and the
Canadians,—charges which Mr. Gladstone denied. As Mr. Punch
writes for all time, it may be well to note, that the Chancellor or
the Exchequer does sometimes permit the contempt which a very
able and honest man entertains for a blockhead to be more manifest
than is perfectly expedient or charitable. In closing the Treaty Debate
to-night, lie introduced the remark, that an adversary’s statements had
not been worthy the high standard of legislative debate he ought to
desire to attain; and that many foolish things had_ been said in the
discussion, adding, as a placebo, that all the same foolish things, and
many others, bad been said in 1787. All which was true, but fools do
not like to be told that they are fools; and Mr. Gladstone should
remember something about suffering fools “gladly” (which means
civilly) knowing that we ourselves are wise.
The said Treaty Debate was resumed by Mr. Horsman. All amend-
ments having been withdrawn, Horsman setup a little one of his own,
directed against the coal article in the compact. He contended that
Ike Emperor and the French people were opposing interests, and that
we were pleasing the first by injuring the second. Mr. Vivian stated
1o those who were afraid our Coals would be exhausted by the ex-
pected importations to France, that he would undertake to supply,
from South Wales only, all the coal we should want for the next 500
vears, and that there was enough in England for the next 5000 years.
We think the Hon. Member had better enter into contract to fulfil his
promise, Mr. Punch promising posterity to keep him to it. Mr. Ben-
tinck said he would prefer a wrar to the Treaty, and Sir Robert Peel
supported it, but denounced the Savoy business. He ended with a
huge eulogium on Mr. Gladstone, quite deserved, and, of course,
doubly valuable on the laudari laudato principle. Mr. Disraeli then
solemnly attacked the Treaty on three heads—financial, diplomatic,
and political. What could have reminded Mr. Punch of the wonderful
performance of the three Arab brothers, Muley, Ali, and Hassan ?
“Muley, with a lighted torch, will jump down his brother Ali’s
throat. Ali, with a lighted torch, will jump down his brother
Hassan’s throat, and then Hassan, with a lighted torch, and encumbered
with the weight of his two brothers, will jump down his own throat,
and suddenly leave the company in total darkness—walk up, ladies
and gentlemen ! ” Not that the speech was not a very clever one, but
it was a feat whereof cui bono may be said by those who understand
enough Latin for the purpose. By the way, Mr. Punch emits a pro
phecy as easily as he eats a shrimp, and thinks nothing of such a trifle,
so he makes no fuss of having predicted three weeks back, that Mr.
Disraeli would praise the Emperor and pitch into the Ministers.
To-night he declared that the conduct of the Emperor about Savoy
had been perfectly frank from the beginning, but as for the Ministers
who had advocated an Italian policy which they knew must lead to the
annexation, they filled him, Mr. D., with distrust. The Chancellor
op the Exchequer wound up the debate with a dashing speech,
mangled Mr. Horsman, charged some people with being ignorant
and the rest with being fools, and brought the business brilliantly to
an end. Horsman could get but 56 to 282. Post Equitem sedet atra
cura, but who the blacklooking Cure is that sits behind Horsman we
don’t know, and we don’t care, having introduced the quotation
only because equitem means horseman, and to show that we know
Horace.
THE POLITICAL EVIL.
An interesting movement is now proceeding in most of our principal
boroughs with a view to the suppression, if possible, of that system of
bribery and corruption which has been denominated the Great Political
Evil. The Town Hall is, by permission of the Mayor, opened on
certain evenings to the degraded portion of the constituency, invited
by the zealous pastors and other philanthropists who have devoted
themselves to the good work, to attend and partake of beer and pipes;
it being felt that persons of that class would be insensible to the
attractions of tea and muffins. Cards of invitation are left at all the
iow public-houses. The corrupt voters are received at the place of
meeting by the benevolent preachers and ministers who are endeavour-
ing to reclaim the sold, and who, in the character of missionaries,
appear appropriately attired in reverend black, with white ties. These
messengers of purity address the multitude of depraved beings who
lmve bartered their privileges as Britons for a few shillings and a quan-
tity of ale, as creatures who, however deeply sunken in infamy, may,
nevertheless, still emerge, and by genuine amendment retrieve their
lost character. They also take individual voters apart, and talk
with each beery and brandy-and-watery sot, reason and remonstrate
with him, and endeavour to point out the iniquity of his path, awaken
his almost extinct sense of shame, and beat some notion of responsi-
bility into his head. Some few manifest signs of emotion, scratch
their heads, and mutter resolutions of amendment; and one or two
occasionally clasp the hand of their instructor, and, with a voice
tremulous and eyes suffused with drink, declare that they will vote the
next time according to their consciences, confirming the promise gene-
rally with an imprecation. The majority, however, listen to what is
said to them with stolid indifference, sit smoking and swigging, and at
the conclusion of the proceedings withdraw winking and grinning,
rather the worse for the liquor which they have had, and nothing at ail
the better for the exhortations which have been addressed to them.
DINNER NOTES AND QUERIES.
Announcing to the world the important piece of news that the
Duke of Wellington has asked the Prince of Orange to dine
with him, a lashionable newspaper proceeds to state the fact that—
“ Her Grace the Duchess has invited a large circle to meet the illustrious Prince
after dinner.”
From this interesting but somewhat bewildering intelligence, there
arise in our mind the following few queries :—
1. What was the “large circle?” Was it Astley’s Circus ? or one
of the paddle-wheels of the Great Eastern Steamship ?
2. Why was the “large circle” not asked to come to dinner? Was
Jhere not room for it at table ? or was it considered that the
“ illustrious Prince ” was only worth meeting alter pudding, not
before it ?
3. Why cannot our noblemen invite their private friends to dine
with them without our newsmen drawing public notice to the fact ?
Brown {heartily). “ Ah, Jones, how are you l Been on the ice, I see*
Jones {dismally). “ IN the Ice, my good friend, IN the Ice ! ”
Wanted Some Fine Young Men.
Our Rifle Volunteers muster tolerably strong; but still larger
numbers would be required to confront actual danger. The members
of the various corps are mostly either independent or professional
young men. To bring the Volunteer force up to the mark, shopmen
are wanted. Our spontaneous Rifles are dashing young fellows, but
their efficiency would be improved by the addition of haberdashers.
They take kindly to drill—march admirably; but they ivant more
counter-marching.
Low Joke.—Mr. Hook has been elected an
right. Biit do the Academicians think Ihey
Square? With a Hook.
Academician. Very
will keep Trafalgar
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
109
place will be down shortly; and architects had better be getting their
drawing-boards and set-squares in ordpr for the next competition.
The Home Secretary, in answer to Cardinal Wiseman’s Cross-
bearer, Mr. Bowyer, referred to a case in which a Catholic priest had
been committed to prison for refusing to say where he got a stolen
watch, and pleading the Confessional. Sir George, confirmed by Sir
Eitzroy Kelly, distinctly declared that Confession communications
were not privileged by law. The Priests had better note this, and not
receive stolen goods in future, even, as this gentleman did, for the
sake of making restitution. Sam Sltcx: then made a violent onslaught
upon Mr. Gladstone for being “ sneering, and supercilious, and
taunting, and contemptuous,” about the Timber Duties and the
Canadians,—charges which Mr. Gladstone denied. As Mr. Punch
writes for all time, it may be well to note, that the Chancellor or
the Exchequer does sometimes permit the contempt which a very
able and honest man entertains for a blockhead to be more manifest
than is perfectly expedient or charitable. In closing the Treaty Debate
to-night, lie introduced the remark, that an adversary’s statements had
not been worthy the high standard of legislative debate he ought to
desire to attain; and that many foolish things had_ been said in the
discussion, adding, as a placebo, that all the same foolish things, and
many others, bad been said in 1787. All which was true, but fools do
not like to be told that they are fools; and Mr. Gladstone should
remember something about suffering fools “gladly” (which means
civilly) knowing that we ourselves are wise.
The said Treaty Debate was resumed by Mr. Horsman. All amend-
ments having been withdrawn, Horsman setup a little one of his own,
directed against the coal article in the compact. He contended that
Ike Emperor and the French people were opposing interests, and that
we were pleasing the first by injuring the second. Mr. Vivian stated
1o those who were afraid our Coals would be exhausted by the ex-
pected importations to France, that he would undertake to supply,
from South Wales only, all the coal we should want for the next 500
vears, and that there was enough in England for the next 5000 years.
We think the Hon. Member had better enter into contract to fulfil his
promise, Mr. Punch promising posterity to keep him to it. Mr. Ben-
tinck said he would prefer a wrar to the Treaty, and Sir Robert Peel
supported it, but denounced the Savoy business. He ended with a
huge eulogium on Mr. Gladstone, quite deserved, and, of course,
doubly valuable on the laudari laudato principle. Mr. Disraeli then
solemnly attacked the Treaty on three heads—financial, diplomatic,
and political. What could have reminded Mr. Punch of the wonderful
performance of the three Arab brothers, Muley, Ali, and Hassan ?
“Muley, with a lighted torch, will jump down his brother Ali’s
throat. Ali, with a lighted torch, will jump down his brother
Hassan’s throat, and then Hassan, with a lighted torch, and encumbered
with the weight of his two brothers, will jump down his own throat,
and suddenly leave the company in total darkness—walk up, ladies
and gentlemen ! ” Not that the speech was not a very clever one, but
it was a feat whereof cui bono may be said by those who understand
enough Latin for the purpose. By the way, Mr. Punch emits a pro
phecy as easily as he eats a shrimp, and thinks nothing of such a trifle,
so he makes no fuss of having predicted three weeks back, that Mr.
Disraeli would praise the Emperor and pitch into the Ministers.
To-night he declared that the conduct of the Emperor about Savoy
had been perfectly frank from the beginning, but as for the Ministers
who had advocated an Italian policy which they knew must lead to the
annexation, they filled him, Mr. D., with distrust. The Chancellor
op the Exchequer wound up the debate with a dashing speech,
mangled Mr. Horsman, charged some people with being ignorant
and the rest with being fools, and brought the business brilliantly to
an end. Horsman could get but 56 to 282. Post Equitem sedet atra
cura, but who the blacklooking Cure is that sits behind Horsman we
don’t know, and we don’t care, having introduced the quotation
only because equitem means horseman, and to show that we know
Horace.
THE POLITICAL EVIL.
An interesting movement is now proceeding in most of our principal
boroughs with a view to the suppression, if possible, of that system of
bribery and corruption which has been denominated the Great Political
Evil. The Town Hall is, by permission of the Mayor, opened on
certain evenings to the degraded portion of the constituency, invited
by the zealous pastors and other philanthropists who have devoted
themselves to the good work, to attend and partake of beer and pipes;
it being felt that persons of that class would be insensible to the
attractions of tea and muffins. Cards of invitation are left at all the
iow public-houses. The corrupt voters are received at the place of
meeting by the benevolent preachers and ministers who are endeavour-
ing to reclaim the sold, and who, in the character of missionaries,
appear appropriately attired in reverend black, with white ties. These
messengers of purity address the multitude of depraved beings who
lmve bartered their privileges as Britons for a few shillings and a quan-
tity of ale, as creatures who, however deeply sunken in infamy, may,
nevertheless, still emerge, and by genuine amendment retrieve their
lost character. They also take individual voters apart, and talk
with each beery and brandy-and-watery sot, reason and remonstrate
with him, and endeavour to point out the iniquity of his path, awaken
his almost extinct sense of shame, and beat some notion of responsi-
bility into his head. Some few manifest signs of emotion, scratch
their heads, and mutter resolutions of amendment; and one or two
occasionally clasp the hand of their instructor, and, with a voice
tremulous and eyes suffused with drink, declare that they will vote the
next time according to their consciences, confirming the promise gene-
rally with an imprecation. The majority, however, listen to what is
said to them with stolid indifference, sit smoking and swigging, and at
the conclusion of the proceedings withdraw winking and grinning,
rather the worse for the liquor which they have had, and nothing at ail
the better for the exhortations which have been addressed to them.
DINNER NOTES AND QUERIES.
Announcing to the world the important piece of news that the
Duke of Wellington has asked the Prince of Orange to dine
with him, a lashionable newspaper proceeds to state the fact that—
“ Her Grace the Duchess has invited a large circle to meet the illustrious Prince
after dinner.”
From this interesting but somewhat bewildering intelligence, there
arise in our mind the following few queries :—
1. What was the “large circle?” Was it Astley’s Circus ? or one
of the paddle-wheels of the Great Eastern Steamship ?
2. Why was the “large circle” not asked to come to dinner? Was
Jhere not room for it at table ? or was it considered that the
“ illustrious Prince ” was only worth meeting alter pudding, not
before it ?
3. Why cannot our noblemen invite their private friends to dine
with them without our newsmen drawing public notice to the fact ?
Brown {heartily). “ Ah, Jones, how are you l Been on the ice, I see*
Jones {dismally). “ IN the Ice, my good friend, IN the Ice ! ”
Wanted Some Fine Young Men.
Our Rifle Volunteers muster tolerably strong; but still larger
numbers would be required to confront actual danger. The members
of the various corps are mostly either independent or professional
young men. To bring the Volunteer force up to the mark, shopmen
are wanted. Our spontaneous Rifles are dashing young fellows, but
their efficiency would be improved by the addition of haberdashers.
They take kindly to drill—march admirably; but they ivant more
counter-marching.
Low Joke.—Mr. Hook has been elected an
right. Biit do the Academicians think Ihey
Square? With a Hook.
Academician. Very
will keep Trafalgar