DOI issue:
April 28, 1860
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16865#0183
APRIL 28, i860.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 175
future. Now, Ladies, if you please, attention. The Census is going
to be taken again, so make up your minds how old you mean to assert
ourselves to be. You had better, if possible, remember, or find out,
ow old you called yourselves Ten years ago, and on the whole it may
be prudent, as a general rule, not to write yourselves down very much
younger now than you said you were in 1851. Recollect, the officials
will be able to refer to your former statements, and you will not look
exactly pleased, dear Angelina, when Edwin is called upon to explain
why, as Head of the Family, he has declared you to have been 35 in
: 1851 and 29 in 1861. Mr. Punch, ever woman’s truest friend, is thus
early with his affectionate warning. Mr. Clive brought in the Census
Bill this evening.
Tuesday. Such of the Lords as were not too tired, after seeing the
| Eight (which took place this morning near Earnborough, when Sir
Thomas De Sayers and the Count de Benicia bravely battled for
two hours and twenty minutes in presence of Dukes, Lords, Members
! of Parliament, Officers, “Authors, Poets, Painters, Doctors, and Clergy-
i men”), met and read, a second time, the Bill for improving the Divorce
Court. The arrears are heavy, for out of 539 cases only 177 have been
disposed of. It is proposed to give Sir Cresswell power to do more of
the work single-handed. Lord Redesdale talked some bosh about the
new system having done much to diminish respect for the institution
of marriage, an allegation which he supported by stating that people
made jokes about divorce, and that comic allusions were made to it in
the theatres. Punch never argues with a Pump. But Lord Redes-
dale is a mighty hunter. Does he think that the British veneration
for the institution of fox-hunting is diminished because at the theatre
i people roar at the feats of the basket-work horses ? He can understand
that query, one would hope.
The Commons seem to have tired themselves with going to the
Eight, for they sat for little more than an hour. Mr. Had field inter-
pellated (a handsome long word that) Sir G. C. Lewis about the
| encounter, and was gravely told, that if the battle had been fought, of
I which Sir George had no official knowledge, it must have taken place
\ beyond the jurisdiction of the metropolitan police, and he did not know
whether the county police had been present or not. Later, we presume,
| Sir George bought a copy of the extra edition of Bell's Life, and got
up the details in time to shine on the subject at dinner. Eor there has
seldom been so much fighting talk in fashionable circles as to-night,
probably never so much since the news came of another confiict,
whereof Tommy Moore wrote
“ O shade of the Cheesemonger, you who, alas,
Doubled up, by the dozen, those Mounseers in brass.
On that great day of milling, when blood lay in lakes.
When Kings held the bottle, and Europe the stakes."
Wednesday. Mr. Collier’s Bill for making it unlawful to convey
voters to the poll was debated, and the debate adjourned. Mr. Punch
has a notion that gentlemen of property do not like this interference
with making their long purses useful in a contest. They talk very
kindly and decorously, of course, about the hardship of disfranchising
the poorer voter who cannot afford to hire a conveyance. A new green
‘ tint has just been discovered and is making a sensation, but Mr. Punch
is iustified in stating that the discovery was not made in his eye. The
1 Bill for Elevating the lawyers was read a second time by 191 to 29,
numbers which show the influence the fraternity has in the House.
| The Bill has some good points, especially educational provisions, but
some precious bad ones, for it will let in attorneys who have not been
articled, and will allow the profession to charge interest on their inf—
on their bills of costs. A Bill for letting Jews into Parliament in a
more brief and civil manner than now, was read a second time by 117
to 75; but if we know the titled descendants of Front de Bosuf
Alamode and his contemporaries, they will retain this last little bit of
unpleasantness for the posterity of Isaac of York.
Thursday. The Descendants above mentioned held a Reform Bill
| Debate. They have taken the Bull, or rather Bill, by the horns, and
mean, if possible, to make them the horns of a dilemna. Earl Grey
! moved for a Select Committee to inquire what increase would be made
in the number of electors by reducing the franchise, and what sort of
I folks, socially considered, would come in, and to investigate, generally,
Election matters, specially inquiring in what way the elections for
huge constituencies are managed, and by what kind of clique. He
made no secret of his wanting this information to enable him to deal
with the coming Reform Bill, as the present returns were good for
nothing, and at least twice as many new votes would be created as
Lord John Russell had supposed. Lord Grey declared himself
opposed to extension of the franchise, probably thinking that his father
had done enough in that line. The Duke op Argyll defended the
returns, but would not oppose the motion provided that it did not
mean a shelving of the Reform Bill. He had the caudour (and Mr.
Punch hereby pats the Golden-haired on his Ducal head) to bear testi-
mony to the merits of Mr. Disraeli’s Reform Bill, which was
destroyed, not on those merits, but in a party fight. Lord Derby
came out strong, condemned a good deal of the Poor Little Bill, and
announced that, though he should regret to have to put it to death, he
should feel it his painful duty to try to do so, if it came up in its
present form. It was two Uns and a Nin,—that is to say, Unsatis-
factory, Unstatesmanlike, and Inconclusive. It was designed to give
power to those whom it had been sought to persuade that the upper
classes were their enemies. Lord Granville undertook that the
Government returns should be defended in Committee. The Select
Committee was appointed.
In the Commons, Mr. Horsman delivered another pitch into the
Emperor op the French and Savoyards, and also into Lord John
Russell, and Mr. Dupe abused Lord Cowley. Lord John rebuked
Horsman, and said that if Government were let alone they would
manage everything properly, and Lord Palmerston and his private
secretary flared up for Cowley. Pam always stands by his friends,
like a man. So does Mr. Punch, upon similar but infinitely grander
grounds, for to be the friend of Mr. Punch argues a person to be pos-
sessed (like a Freemason) of every Social and Moral Virtue, and also
to have Genius, Elegance, and a taste for the best cigars. The rest of
the. Navy Estimates were taken, and then came short debates, on
various subjects, each discussion ending in a row over the question
of adjournment, finally performed at two in the morning of
Friday. Lots of petitions against the Sunday peripatetic Bawlers
and Yelpers, and then a good little bit of fun. Lord Normanby had
given notice of a motion virtually censuring Lord Cowley about his
rivate correspondence with Lord John Russell on the Savoy
usiness. Lord Cowley, who had no notion of letting his reputation
be pawed and pulled about by the antiquated fribble, starts from Paris
to be ready to confront him, and Normanby states that his intended
victim is “ now at Calais.” “ Is he, by Jove ! ” says Lord Granville,
reading out a telegram from Dover, announcing that Cowley is there,
and coming on by the next train. So Lord Normanby has to post-
pone his motion until Lord Cowley’s arrival, and meantime protests
that he really did not mean any particular censure. If, after taking
the trouble to come all that way in this abominable weather to wop
Normanby, Cowley does not give it him hot and hot, he had better
have stopped in Paris, as the idea of its being necessary for him or any-
body else to defend himself from Normanby’s ludicrous onslaught is
out of the question. He had, later in the sitting, to retract and
apologise for another of the heap of charges the cackling old party has
brought against Italian gentlemen.
In the Commons, among the usual mass of petitions, some were
amusing. Wretched Welsh villages, with unpronounceable names,
petitioned against the Wine Licences Bill—places where there has
probably never been a drop of wine drunk in sociality since the day
when the Welsh language was created, at the Confusion of Tongues,
by a trowel full of the Babel mortar falling into the upturned and open
mouth of a bricklayer, whose splutter of wrath and dismay became
the Welsh as now spoken. Captain Gordon gave a notice that the
House had no sound information on which to go reforming. Mr.
Miller complained that boys were sent to prison for playing games in
the streets, and the Home Secretary, submitting that it was rather
a bore to have your valuable horse thrown down by an iron hoop, or
our valuable eye poked out by a tip-cat, wished he could whip the
oys instead of locking them up, but feared the law did not recognise
the birch. As for old Smithfield, there seems a muddled title to it,
and a compromise has been made; a portion of the site is to be a dead
meat market, but the portion belonging to the Crown is to be “ dedicated
to the general purposes of the public.”
More fun about the Eight.—Mr. Ewart admitted but deplored the
interest taken in the matter, and wanted to know what power the law
had to deal with such doings. Mr. Vincent Scully, under pretence
of denouncing the business, explained in the hoight of glory and joy,
that Sayers, Heenan, and Mr. Morrisey (who beat Heenan in
America) were all of Irish origin. The Home Secretary was evi-
dently much amused, but stated with extreme precision the grounds on
which some persons uphold the ring, remarked that he had no doubt
that a fight was unlawful, but that it was not the habit of Government
to prosecute such offenders, though it was open to the local authorities
to do so if they liked. Our classical Home Secretary clearly has no
malice against our Dares and Entellus.
To Mr. James, demanding what Government meant to do in refer-
ence to. Mr. Massey’s motion, Lord John replied that ne should
oppose it, of course, considering it as intended to destroy the Deform
Bill.
The.Queen’s Proclamation, recommending her subjects to be Pious
and Virtuous, is to be revised, Mr. Punch presumes in accordance with
the necessities of the times, which make it difficult for anybody, except
himself, to be either. The Paper Duty Repeal went through Com-
mittee, as did part of the Customs Bill; and Mr. Sam Slick gave
Mr. Gladstone a great scolding for alleged ill-treatment of British
North America, where, he said, there were 3,000,000 of highly superior-
people, whose representations were utterly despised by those who
desired to give votes to “the unrepresented rabble of England.”
Mr. Gladstone protested his innocence, and the rejection of an
amendment by the Clockmaker wound up the week.
future. Now, Ladies, if you please, attention. The Census is going
to be taken again, so make up your minds how old you mean to assert
ourselves to be. You had better, if possible, remember, or find out,
ow old you called yourselves Ten years ago, and on the whole it may
be prudent, as a general rule, not to write yourselves down very much
younger now than you said you were in 1851. Recollect, the officials
will be able to refer to your former statements, and you will not look
exactly pleased, dear Angelina, when Edwin is called upon to explain
why, as Head of the Family, he has declared you to have been 35 in
: 1851 and 29 in 1861. Mr. Punch, ever woman’s truest friend, is thus
early with his affectionate warning. Mr. Clive brought in the Census
Bill this evening.
Tuesday. Such of the Lords as were not too tired, after seeing the
| Eight (which took place this morning near Earnborough, when Sir
Thomas De Sayers and the Count de Benicia bravely battled for
two hours and twenty minutes in presence of Dukes, Lords, Members
! of Parliament, Officers, “Authors, Poets, Painters, Doctors, and Clergy-
i men”), met and read, a second time, the Bill for improving the Divorce
Court. The arrears are heavy, for out of 539 cases only 177 have been
disposed of. It is proposed to give Sir Cresswell power to do more of
the work single-handed. Lord Redesdale talked some bosh about the
new system having done much to diminish respect for the institution
of marriage, an allegation which he supported by stating that people
made jokes about divorce, and that comic allusions were made to it in
the theatres. Punch never argues with a Pump. But Lord Redes-
dale is a mighty hunter. Does he think that the British veneration
for the institution of fox-hunting is diminished because at the theatre
i people roar at the feats of the basket-work horses ? He can understand
that query, one would hope.
The Commons seem to have tired themselves with going to the
Eight, for they sat for little more than an hour. Mr. Had field inter-
pellated (a handsome long word that) Sir G. C. Lewis about the
| encounter, and was gravely told, that if the battle had been fought, of
I which Sir George had no official knowledge, it must have taken place
\ beyond the jurisdiction of the metropolitan police, and he did not know
whether the county police had been present or not. Later, we presume,
| Sir George bought a copy of the extra edition of Bell's Life, and got
up the details in time to shine on the subject at dinner. Eor there has
seldom been so much fighting talk in fashionable circles as to-night,
probably never so much since the news came of another confiict,
whereof Tommy Moore wrote
“ O shade of the Cheesemonger, you who, alas,
Doubled up, by the dozen, those Mounseers in brass.
On that great day of milling, when blood lay in lakes.
When Kings held the bottle, and Europe the stakes."
Wednesday. Mr. Collier’s Bill for making it unlawful to convey
voters to the poll was debated, and the debate adjourned. Mr. Punch
has a notion that gentlemen of property do not like this interference
with making their long purses useful in a contest. They talk very
kindly and decorously, of course, about the hardship of disfranchising
the poorer voter who cannot afford to hire a conveyance. A new green
‘ tint has just been discovered and is making a sensation, but Mr. Punch
is iustified in stating that the discovery was not made in his eye. The
1 Bill for Elevating the lawyers was read a second time by 191 to 29,
numbers which show the influence the fraternity has in the House.
| The Bill has some good points, especially educational provisions, but
some precious bad ones, for it will let in attorneys who have not been
articled, and will allow the profession to charge interest on their inf—
on their bills of costs. A Bill for letting Jews into Parliament in a
more brief and civil manner than now, was read a second time by 117
to 75; but if we know the titled descendants of Front de Bosuf
Alamode and his contemporaries, they will retain this last little bit of
unpleasantness for the posterity of Isaac of York.
Thursday. The Descendants above mentioned held a Reform Bill
| Debate. They have taken the Bull, or rather Bill, by the horns, and
mean, if possible, to make them the horns of a dilemna. Earl Grey
! moved for a Select Committee to inquire what increase would be made
in the number of electors by reducing the franchise, and what sort of
I folks, socially considered, would come in, and to investigate, generally,
Election matters, specially inquiring in what way the elections for
huge constituencies are managed, and by what kind of clique. He
made no secret of his wanting this information to enable him to deal
with the coming Reform Bill, as the present returns were good for
nothing, and at least twice as many new votes would be created as
Lord John Russell had supposed. Lord Grey declared himself
opposed to extension of the franchise, probably thinking that his father
had done enough in that line. The Duke op Argyll defended the
returns, but would not oppose the motion provided that it did not
mean a shelving of the Reform Bill. He had the caudour (and Mr.
Punch hereby pats the Golden-haired on his Ducal head) to bear testi-
mony to the merits of Mr. Disraeli’s Reform Bill, which was
destroyed, not on those merits, but in a party fight. Lord Derby
came out strong, condemned a good deal of the Poor Little Bill, and
announced that, though he should regret to have to put it to death, he
should feel it his painful duty to try to do so, if it came up in its
present form. It was two Uns and a Nin,—that is to say, Unsatis-
factory, Unstatesmanlike, and Inconclusive. It was designed to give
power to those whom it had been sought to persuade that the upper
classes were their enemies. Lord Granville undertook that the
Government returns should be defended in Committee. The Select
Committee was appointed.
In the Commons, Mr. Horsman delivered another pitch into the
Emperor op the French and Savoyards, and also into Lord John
Russell, and Mr. Dupe abused Lord Cowley. Lord John rebuked
Horsman, and said that if Government were let alone they would
manage everything properly, and Lord Palmerston and his private
secretary flared up for Cowley. Pam always stands by his friends,
like a man. So does Mr. Punch, upon similar but infinitely grander
grounds, for to be the friend of Mr. Punch argues a person to be pos-
sessed (like a Freemason) of every Social and Moral Virtue, and also
to have Genius, Elegance, and a taste for the best cigars. The rest of
the. Navy Estimates were taken, and then came short debates, on
various subjects, each discussion ending in a row over the question
of adjournment, finally performed at two in the morning of
Friday. Lots of petitions against the Sunday peripatetic Bawlers
and Yelpers, and then a good little bit of fun. Lord Normanby had
given notice of a motion virtually censuring Lord Cowley about his
rivate correspondence with Lord John Russell on the Savoy
usiness. Lord Cowley, who had no notion of letting his reputation
be pawed and pulled about by the antiquated fribble, starts from Paris
to be ready to confront him, and Normanby states that his intended
victim is “ now at Calais.” “ Is he, by Jove ! ” says Lord Granville,
reading out a telegram from Dover, announcing that Cowley is there,
and coming on by the next train. So Lord Normanby has to post-
pone his motion until Lord Cowley’s arrival, and meantime protests
that he really did not mean any particular censure. If, after taking
the trouble to come all that way in this abominable weather to wop
Normanby, Cowley does not give it him hot and hot, he had better
have stopped in Paris, as the idea of its being necessary for him or any-
body else to defend himself from Normanby’s ludicrous onslaught is
out of the question. He had, later in the sitting, to retract and
apologise for another of the heap of charges the cackling old party has
brought against Italian gentlemen.
In the Commons, among the usual mass of petitions, some were
amusing. Wretched Welsh villages, with unpronounceable names,
petitioned against the Wine Licences Bill—places where there has
probably never been a drop of wine drunk in sociality since the day
when the Welsh language was created, at the Confusion of Tongues,
by a trowel full of the Babel mortar falling into the upturned and open
mouth of a bricklayer, whose splutter of wrath and dismay became
the Welsh as now spoken. Captain Gordon gave a notice that the
House had no sound information on which to go reforming. Mr.
Miller complained that boys were sent to prison for playing games in
the streets, and the Home Secretary, submitting that it was rather
a bore to have your valuable horse thrown down by an iron hoop, or
our valuable eye poked out by a tip-cat, wished he could whip the
oys instead of locking them up, but feared the law did not recognise
the birch. As for old Smithfield, there seems a muddled title to it,
and a compromise has been made; a portion of the site is to be a dead
meat market, but the portion belonging to the Crown is to be “ dedicated
to the general purposes of the public.”
More fun about the Eight.—Mr. Ewart admitted but deplored the
interest taken in the matter, and wanted to know what power the law
had to deal with such doings. Mr. Vincent Scully, under pretence
of denouncing the business, explained in the hoight of glory and joy,
that Sayers, Heenan, and Mr. Morrisey (who beat Heenan in
America) were all of Irish origin. The Home Secretary was evi-
dently much amused, but stated with extreme precision the grounds on
which some persons uphold the ring, remarked that he had no doubt
that a fight was unlawful, but that it was not the habit of Government
to prosecute such offenders, though it was open to the local authorities
to do so if they liked. Our classical Home Secretary clearly has no
malice against our Dares and Entellus.
To Mr. James, demanding what Government meant to do in refer-
ence to. Mr. Massey’s motion, Lord John replied that ne should
oppose it, of course, considering it as intended to destroy the Deform
Bill.
The.Queen’s Proclamation, recommending her subjects to be Pious
and Virtuous, is to be revised, Mr. Punch presumes in accordance with
the necessities of the times, which make it difficult for anybody, except
himself, to be either. The Paper Duty Repeal went through Com-
mittee, as did part of the Customs Bill; and Mr. Sam Slick gave
Mr. Gladstone a great scolding for alleged ill-treatment of British
North America, where, he said, there were 3,000,000 of highly superior-
people, whose representations were utterly despised by those who
desired to give votes to “the unrepresented rabble of England.”
Mr. Gladstone protested his innocence, and the rejection of an
amendment by the Clockmaker wound up the week.