Punch: Punch (46.1864)

90

[February 27, 1864.

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.


Grandpapa. “Heyday! What makes my Liitle Darling so cross?”

Little Darling. “Why, Grandpa, Mamma wants me to go to a Pantomime
in the Day Time, as ie I was a mere Child ! ”

A MULL BY MAX MULLER.

Under the title of “A German Plea for Germans,” Professor Max Muller
writes a long and elaborate letter to the Times, of which almost all from the begin-
ning to nearly the end will be denied, but what thus follows will be admitted, by
most Englishmen:—

“ Every life that is sacrificed in this purposeless and unhallowed war is precious to some one,
to some mother, or wife, or daughter, or sister. Even those ragged and unkempt Croats have
their ragged and unkempt mothers and wives at home, who will go wild when they hear of
the death of their sons and husbands. We have heard to-day of the death of the brave Prince
op Wurtemburg. We may hear to-morrow of the death of a Prince op Prussia, a King op
Denmark, a Prince op Holstein. Let those who have power and influence work for peace
without ceasing ; but let them work in the true spirit of peace and charity, not in the spirit of
hatred, malice, and uncharitableness.”

So the war which the Germans are waging againt the Danes is called by Pro-
fessor Max^ MtiLLER a “purposeless and unhallowed war.” And this is the
conclusion of “A German Plea for Germans.” Such an end to such an apology
would seem rather suitable to an Irish Plea for Irishmen. Every life that is sacri-
ficed in a purposeless and unhallowed war is deservedly sacrificed if he that has lost
it engaged in that war of his own accord. If he was only driven into it as a sheep to
the slaughter, then his life is sacrificed to gratify the vain ambition of odious
people and execrable sovereigns. Every Dane that is slain in the war now
raging, is murdered, if that war is,. as Professor Max Muller says it is, a pur-
poseless and unhallowed one. His murderers are the German people in general,
and the rulers of the two chief German states in particular. His blood is on the
heads of the Germans, and on the heads of Erancis-Joseph of Austria and.
William of Prussia. On their heads also is the blood of all the ragged and.
unkempt Croats, together with every soldier in every German regiment, besides the
ragged ones, that have been dragged unwillingly to die for nothing from mothers
and wives, who will no doubt go wild when they hear of the deaths of their sons
and husbands, butchered hi vain.

But is the war of fifty to one forced by Germans on Denmark, indeed purposeless ?
Listen, Professor Max Muller. As to the purpose of your countrymen and
clients, don’t you hear a little bird that sings

“ They’re fighting to steal
The harbour of Kiel.”

The war is unhallowed enough; but no more purposeless than assassination com-
mitted for the purpose of plunder.

HANTS ON SCHLESWIG-HOLSTEIN.

What o’ voreign complications,

If 1 knows what that word manes.

Most upsets a feller’s patience.

Is the Germans and the Danes.

Southern hotheads slays then- brothers,

Why ? for ’tis their nature to ;

But I did think them there others
Too fur north the like to do.

Wuss than Erench Mossoos, or Spanish,

Mad on glory and eeclaa,

Here’s the Germans wi’ the Danish
Gone to war about a straa !

If their word is to be taken,

If their faith ben’t all my eye,

Gammon zummut else nor bacon;

If so be as they doan’t he.

This here Schleswig-Holstein rumpus
Han’t bin brought about by much,

All for aught as I can compass,

Speakin Danish for High Dutch.

Here’s a precious cause for battle.

If no more but what they owns,

Slaughter’n Christians wnss than cattle,
Crackun heads and breakun bones !

Fancy in Zouthampton Water,

Ships a batter’n of the town,

Or a scene o’ blood and slaughter
Acted out on Twyford Down,

All because the law’s decided,

And the sarvis zaid or zung
In fine English, not provided
In the native Hampshire tongue !

Yaa! if that was all the matter,

’Twould ha’ zoon bin zet to rights;

’Tain’t about a pint o’ patter
As the Danes and Germans fights.

Them there Germans has intentions
Of another sart and kind
Erom the purpose which they mentions;
Motives what they keeps behind.

Schleswig-Holstein when to sever
They designs from Denmark’s State,

Then' true object and endeavour
Is a Navy to create.

Don’t you credit their profession !

Their design is for to steal.

And thereby to take possession
Of that Baltic Harbour, Kiel.

Let ’urn bide; they ’re in a hobble,

Zaxons, Austrians, Proossians, Croats ;
Mongst theirselves they ’re like to squabble:
Let ’urn cut acb others’ droats.

Whilst Italians and Hungarians
Eor then liberty combine,

And the Yrench, on them barbarians,

Pushes vorrards to the Bhine.

THE GHOST OF A COMPLIMENT.

Our friend, the Morning Star, speaking of a Miss
Townley, says:—

“That young lady appears to have established herself at the
Canterbury as the prima donna of spectral opera.”

This is a new kind of accomplishment. Where, too, is
the Spectral Opera generally performed? We suppose, at
some of “the Shades.” The voices of ghosts, and such
spectral subjects, must be, we should imagine, a little
gone, and they would he rather inclined, one cannot help
fancying, to sing a trifle too deep—so deep that one would
not care about following them. By the Dye, with a rare
qualification, like the one above specified, Miss Townley
should be specially well up in Weber’s Ruler of the Spirits.
We suppose the latter would fitly come under the denomi-
nation of “ Spectral Opera P ” and if a ballet was wanted for
it, they might appropriately introduce The Shadow Dance.