DOI issue:
April 23, 1864
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16873#0173
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
166
April 23, 1864.]
I
Noble Lord (who dabbles in the Arts). “Think it’s like my Father, Trotter?”
Trotter (the Earl’s Groom). “ Ah ! That it be, my Lord ; but (thinking of a
flattering compliment) it’s wery easy to see it warn't done by a Artis’,
my Lord ; I mean one o’ them Fellows as gets their Livin’ by it ! ”
SONG OF THE PRUSSIAN SAVAGES.
Schleswig-Holstein, sea-infolded.
Must become our Sovereign’s prize,
Prussia being giant-moulded,
Denmark far beneath her size,
Overwhelming German legions
Soon must crush the Danish baud,
So as to extend the regions
Of our precious Fatherland.
By our deeds of matchless daring
We ’ve already won renown.
With a valour that’s unsparing.
Unforewarned we shelled a town.
Danish homes our ordnance battered.
Dashed out Danish women’s brains,
Danish children’s bodies shattered,
Smashed both great and little Danes.
Prussia’s might not only slaughters,
Undiscerning, Denmark’s sons,
Torn and mangled Denmark’s daughters
Fall beneath our Prussian guns;
All because our resolution
Is the vanquished Danes to bless
With our liberal Constitution,
Our free speech and our free press.
Glory to our royal master!
William reigns and governs too.
Kings have met with sad disaster
Through attempting so to do.
But we are submissive cattle
And enthusiastic slaves,
Prompt to spend our lives in battle.
Glad to rot in foreign graves.
Slight Confusion of Names.
Sarah Gamp. Well, Jack, have you bin to see this revo-
lutioneering furrineer which his name is Grimaldi ?
Jack. Garibaldi you mean, Grandmother.
Sarah Gamp. Garibaldi, ah, drat it! Garibaldi and
Grimaldt, bother the names! and which they do sound
so much alike, I’m always a-sayin’ one for t’ other.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
April 1 \th, Monday. In a certain Hall in the City of Palaces,—when
you direct a letter, it.may be more convenient to the Post Office if you
write Oxford—there is hospitably brought out, in ancient and classically
inscribed silver, a precious liquid for the delectation of the visitor. It
is called Proof. No more need be said to those whose lips have touched
that goblet’s rim. To the uninitiate nothing could be said, even by
the.mighty master of language, Mr. P.unch, D.C.L., that would convey
an idea of the.splendour of that tipple. Had he that silver in hand, he
would empty it to the health of the Lord Chancellor. For to-night
that Lord brought in a Bill touching the Greek Professorship in the
City of Palaces. We all know how Mr. Jowett has been treated, how
the thinking, liberal, young, inquiring, grateful minds of Oxford wished
to treat him, and how. they were defeated by an invasion of frantic
countryparsons. But it is not to be borne that what Sydney Smith
called Wild Curates should compel a great scholar to teach Greek to the
University for £40 a-year. Lord Westbury has looked into his
patronage, and finds that he has certain canonries at his disposal, and
pleasantly calculates that on the doctrine of chances one of them should
be vacant in about a year. He proposes, as an act of Justice and of'
Expediency, to attach a canonry to the Regius Professorship of Greek.
H® hopes, that the Lords will pass the Bill for this purpose, and that
Oxford will then endow the Professor with a sum equal to the Canonry
income, until the vacancy occurs. Punch hopes so too, for the question
is not one of creed, but of common honesty. And, Lord Westbury,
“ su®ha thing sliould happen as that prejudice should be potent, and
the Bill fail, you can give the first vacant Canonry to Professor
Jowett, without asking anybody’s leave, and if you do, Mr. Punch will
make a special journey to his beloved Oxford for the express purpose of
emptying the aforesaid silver to your honour and glory and long life
and prosperity.
My Lords had a Danish debate. Lord Stratheden moved that
Government ought to have, been more vigorous in supporting Den-
mark s claim lor a mediation on treaty principles. The Duke of
Argyle defended the Cabinet. Earl Grey said that it had been
timid and vacillating. Farl Russell was fully conscious of the power
of England, but did not wish to hurry into war. Lord Derby called
him a Forcible Feeble, and charged him with a breach of pledge to
Denmark. We subordinated our political and military position to our
trading interests, and our bluster would have no effect on Europe.
Lord Wodehouse denied that there had been any pledge, and Lord
Granville hoped good results from the Conference. So does Lord
Punch, but as Lord Johnny was not altogether lucky at Vienna, it
cannot be offensive to Lord Russell if the other nobleman hints., while
Russell is being Dressed for the Fair, like Moses in the Vicar of
Wakefield, that we shall be a good deal more surprised than delighted,
if he brings us home a gross of green spectacles, or makes himself a
Spectacle of Greenness. The motion, having answered the purpose of
drawing the fire of my noble sportsmen, was withdrawn.
Mr. Horsman demanded whether Ministers would, ask Parliament’s
approbation of any Conference bargain before ratifying it. Lord
Palmerston, with curious circumlocution, said that Ministers would
do all that was proper. Mr. Horsman was sure of that, but would
they answer his question? Lord Palmerston then explained that
such an undertaking would be wrong, because a plenipotentiary was
supposed to have already plenty of power to act. The inextinguishable
Horsman then asked whether plenipotentiaries could exceed instruc-
tions ? Lord Palmerston said that if they did, they went beyond their |
instructions, which proposition may, on the whole, be conceded.
It is with regret that Mr. Punch announces that Mr. Gladstone has I
consented to refer his excellent Annuities Bill to a Select Committee; but
it is to be hoped that the measure, invaluable to the poor man, will come
out uninjured. Then we Supplied the Army till two in the morning.
This was the day, to be remembered in every household for the next
half-century, on which Garibaldi made his entry into London.
Tuesday. A Bill for flogging certain scoundrel offenders against
woman, was read a Second Time, and Lord Giiey took the opportunity
of rebuking, in strong language, some of our Judges for then habit of
inflicting ridiculously light sentences for brutal crimes. Mr. Punch
166
April 23, 1864.]
I
Noble Lord (who dabbles in the Arts). “Think it’s like my Father, Trotter?”
Trotter (the Earl’s Groom). “ Ah ! That it be, my Lord ; but (thinking of a
flattering compliment) it’s wery easy to see it warn't done by a Artis’,
my Lord ; I mean one o’ them Fellows as gets their Livin’ by it ! ”
SONG OF THE PRUSSIAN SAVAGES.
Schleswig-Holstein, sea-infolded.
Must become our Sovereign’s prize,
Prussia being giant-moulded,
Denmark far beneath her size,
Overwhelming German legions
Soon must crush the Danish baud,
So as to extend the regions
Of our precious Fatherland.
By our deeds of matchless daring
We ’ve already won renown.
With a valour that’s unsparing.
Unforewarned we shelled a town.
Danish homes our ordnance battered.
Dashed out Danish women’s brains,
Danish children’s bodies shattered,
Smashed both great and little Danes.
Prussia’s might not only slaughters,
Undiscerning, Denmark’s sons,
Torn and mangled Denmark’s daughters
Fall beneath our Prussian guns;
All because our resolution
Is the vanquished Danes to bless
With our liberal Constitution,
Our free speech and our free press.
Glory to our royal master!
William reigns and governs too.
Kings have met with sad disaster
Through attempting so to do.
But we are submissive cattle
And enthusiastic slaves,
Prompt to spend our lives in battle.
Glad to rot in foreign graves.
Slight Confusion of Names.
Sarah Gamp. Well, Jack, have you bin to see this revo-
lutioneering furrineer which his name is Grimaldi ?
Jack. Garibaldi you mean, Grandmother.
Sarah Gamp. Garibaldi, ah, drat it! Garibaldi and
Grimaldt, bother the names! and which they do sound
so much alike, I’m always a-sayin’ one for t’ other.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
April 1 \th, Monday. In a certain Hall in the City of Palaces,—when
you direct a letter, it.may be more convenient to the Post Office if you
write Oxford—there is hospitably brought out, in ancient and classically
inscribed silver, a precious liquid for the delectation of the visitor. It
is called Proof. No more need be said to those whose lips have touched
that goblet’s rim. To the uninitiate nothing could be said, even by
the.mighty master of language, Mr. P.unch, D.C.L., that would convey
an idea of the.splendour of that tipple. Had he that silver in hand, he
would empty it to the health of the Lord Chancellor. For to-night
that Lord brought in a Bill touching the Greek Professorship in the
City of Palaces. We all know how Mr. Jowett has been treated, how
the thinking, liberal, young, inquiring, grateful minds of Oxford wished
to treat him, and how. they were defeated by an invasion of frantic
countryparsons. But it is not to be borne that what Sydney Smith
called Wild Curates should compel a great scholar to teach Greek to the
University for £40 a-year. Lord Westbury has looked into his
patronage, and finds that he has certain canonries at his disposal, and
pleasantly calculates that on the doctrine of chances one of them should
be vacant in about a year. He proposes, as an act of Justice and of'
Expediency, to attach a canonry to the Regius Professorship of Greek.
H® hopes, that the Lords will pass the Bill for this purpose, and that
Oxford will then endow the Professor with a sum equal to the Canonry
income, until the vacancy occurs. Punch hopes so too, for the question
is not one of creed, but of common honesty. And, Lord Westbury,
“ su®ha thing sliould happen as that prejudice should be potent, and
the Bill fail, you can give the first vacant Canonry to Professor
Jowett, without asking anybody’s leave, and if you do, Mr. Punch will
make a special journey to his beloved Oxford for the express purpose of
emptying the aforesaid silver to your honour and glory and long life
and prosperity.
My Lords had a Danish debate. Lord Stratheden moved that
Government ought to have, been more vigorous in supporting Den-
mark s claim lor a mediation on treaty principles. The Duke of
Argyle defended the Cabinet. Earl Grey said that it had been
timid and vacillating. Farl Russell was fully conscious of the power
of England, but did not wish to hurry into war. Lord Derby called
him a Forcible Feeble, and charged him with a breach of pledge to
Denmark. We subordinated our political and military position to our
trading interests, and our bluster would have no effect on Europe.
Lord Wodehouse denied that there had been any pledge, and Lord
Granville hoped good results from the Conference. So does Lord
Punch, but as Lord Johnny was not altogether lucky at Vienna, it
cannot be offensive to Lord Russell if the other nobleman hints., while
Russell is being Dressed for the Fair, like Moses in the Vicar of
Wakefield, that we shall be a good deal more surprised than delighted,
if he brings us home a gross of green spectacles, or makes himself a
Spectacle of Greenness. The motion, having answered the purpose of
drawing the fire of my noble sportsmen, was withdrawn.
Mr. Horsman demanded whether Ministers would, ask Parliament’s
approbation of any Conference bargain before ratifying it. Lord
Palmerston, with curious circumlocution, said that Ministers would
do all that was proper. Mr. Horsman was sure of that, but would
they answer his question? Lord Palmerston then explained that
such an undertaking would be wrong, because a plenipotentiary was
supposed to have already plenty of power to act. The inextinguishable
Horsman then asked whether plenipotentiaries could exceed instruc-
tions ? Lord Palmerston said that if they did, they went beyond their |
instructions, which proposition may, on the whole, be conceded.
It is with regret that Mr. Punch announces that Mr. Gladstone has I
consented to refer his excellent Annuities Bill to a Select Committee; but
it is to be hoped that the measure, invaluable to the poor man, will come
out uninjured. Then we Supplied the Army till two in the morning.
This was the day, to be remembered in every household for the next
half-century, on which Garibaldi made his entry into London.
Tuesday. A Bill for flogging certain scoundrel offenders against
woman, was read a Second Time, and Lord Giiey took the opportunity
of rebuking, in strong language, some of our Judges for then habit of
inflicting ridiculously light sentences for brutal crimes. Mr. Punch