DOI Heft:
June 18, 1864
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16873#0257
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
249
Juke 18, 1864.1
RATHER BEHIND HIS TIME.
Policeman. “Hadn’t you better be getting home, Young Man?”
Wanderer. “ Wha’ for ? Tersh’nt’erery ain’t over yet y’know ! ”
LAWSON’S LOST LIQUOR BILL.
The L.ament of the United Kingdom Alliance.
Hard lines, to be refused permission,
But to impose a prohibition
Lrom drinking spirits, wine, and beer,
On other folks ! Poor we! Oh dear !
Pipe, Ebenezer, pipe thine eye;
Mourn, Salem, Little Bethel, cry.
Weep, 0 ye Jumpers, and lament,
Ye congregations of Dissent!
Condole with us, ye Sunday Schools,
Derided as officious fools.
We’ve had our Liquor Bill kicked out;
Still to be sold are ale and stout.
Content we must, meanwhile, remain
Ourselves from liquors to abstain;
Can’t make our neighbours do so too ;
How cruel! What a shame! Boohoo !
THE DIGNITY OE THE ERENCIL LEGISLATURE.
What a people the Prench are! The Session of the
Corps Legislatif was closed with a speech from the Presi-
dent, the "Due de Morny. According to telegram:—
“ M. de Morny’s speech was received with great applause. The
deputies then separated with cries of ‘ Vive VEmpereur ! ’ ”
Pancy Parliament prorogued with the customary speech
from the Throne, read by Lord Westbury, and then
separating with cries of “ Long live the Queen ! ” Only
conceive the Earl of Derby and Earl Russell, Lords
Ellenborough and Granville, Lord Palmerston and
Mr Disraeli, Sir Stafford Northcote and Mr. Glad-
stone, Sir George Grey and Sir John Pakington,
Mr. Layard, Mr. Bright, Mr. Bernal Osborne, Mr.
Cobden and Mr. Roebuck, one and all taking leave of
each other with that loyal vociferation, and going away for
the Parliamentary vacation, shouting and bawling like boys
breaking up for the holidays.
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
June 6th. Monday. The hero of the week, and of all weeks in which
letters are delivered, Sir Rowland Hill, is to receive £20,000 as a
present from the Government, to which directly and indirectly, he will
have presented millions, with advantage and contentment, moreover,
to the contributors to the revenue. The gift was recommended, in the
Lords to-night, by the Chancellor in the name of the Queen. On
™_e following Wednesday, in the Sheldonian theatre at Oxford,
Mr. Punch had the pleasure and glory of seeing his distinguished friend
receive the degree of D.C.L., which may, pro hdc vice, be interpreted.
Donor of Cheap Letters.
The nuisance of Park Lane, the narrowest and most dangerous street
in civilised London, was assailed by Lord Lucan, Lord Malmes-
and the Commander-in-Chief. Of course, the authorities shift
the responsibility ; somebody says that it is the business of St. George’s
vestrv, somebody else that it is the Government business, and a third
somebody that it is the business of Thwaites, and among them all
people are knocked down and nearly killed, or the traffic is closely
blocked, fifty times a day. Why not break through Hamilton Place
without asking anybody’s leave, and then get an Act of Indemnity?
} •^re we always to be the slaves to red tape and vested interests ? There
is a corn-chandler, too, who has the fiendish wickedness and demoniacal
ettrontery to let carts, containing his goods, be loaded and unloaded at
ins door, to the hindrance of carriages ? Why is he not hanged ?
ihese are specimens of all the arguments on the subject. But some-
thing ought to be done, for Mr. Punch himself, who is royal in his love
w punctuality, was actually late at a party in Eaton Square last
Wednesday, owing to the Park Lane block, and to his having let his
outriders go to chapel.
An interesting conversation on Public School Education elicited the
important fact that when William Lennox Lascelles Pitzgerald
be Ros, Baron, was a little boy at school, he was fag to the present
Archbishop of Canterbury, cleaned his shoes, and doesn’t seem to
have been much wallopped by his Grace (or the marks have gone away),
or Lord de Ros declared to-night that fagging was a good institution.
Mr. Punch declares it to be nothing of the kind, but an institution that
makes a weak boy a sneak, and a strong boy a tyrant. The Bishop of
London, as usual, spoke wisely, deprecated leaving things as they are,
and strongly advocated the teaching French. So do we; not that
Prench is worth learning, for itself, for it is a wretched language, but
as (and possibly by reason of this last fact) the majority of people un-
derstand it, Prench is one of the disagreeable necessities of the time.
You do not learn French in order to study poetry or eloquence, but in
order to be able to vituperate Prench cooks, and assure the various
Prench ladies whom you meet that you have been, for the first time in
your life, inspired by each of them with a passion which will be enclosed
with you in the tomb. Therefore, we quite agree with the Bishop.
Lord Derby said that Grammar could not be taught at Public Schools.
We can’t say how this may be, but it never is. The Archbishop
thought that “French ought to be made imperative,” and our friend
the Elected of the Millions will doubtless concur with the Protestant
hierarch.
There has been a great powder explosion at Corfu, but Lord Har-
tington was happy to say that, as it had occurred since our troops left,
it was only Greeks that had been blown up.
Lady Elgin, widow of one of the best and ablest noblemen who ever
preferred serving his country to living an idle and foolish life, is, most
properly, to have a pension of £1000 a year, in testimony of our sense
of the merits of her illustrious husband. We trust that she may long
be reminded of a nation’s gratitude.
Then we had a lively row. The Conference was the theme, and Mr.
Disraeli made what Pam called “a magnificent_ display of virtuous
indignation.” He abused the Government for telling nothing, also for
having no policy, also for abandoning the policy which Lord Palmer-
ston had vigorously announced a few weeks back. The Premier com-
plained of being attacked when he could not defend himself, demanded
what policy the Opposition wanted, and refused further explanations.
Lord Robert Cecil accused him of making an experiment on the
patience of the House, and of betraying Denmark unefer the pretext of
serving her. Mr. Kinglake rather agreed, generally, with Mr.
Disraeli, but thought the Government might be right in backing out
of an untenable position.
Then we had a still livelier row. The National Gallery was the
theme, and Mr. Cowper asked for £10,000 towards the erection of a
249
Juke 18, 1864.1
RATHER BEHIND HIS TIME.
Policeman. “Hadn’t you better be getting home, Young Man?”
Wanderer. “ Wha’ for ? Tersh’nt’erery ain’t over yet y’know ! ”
LAWSON’S LOST LIQUOR BILL.
The L.ament of the United Kingdom Alliance.
Hard lines, to be refused permission,
But to impose a prohibition
Lrom drinking spirits, wine, and beer,
On other folks ! Poor we! Oh dear !
Pipe, Ebenezer, pipe thine eye;
Mourn, Salem, Little Bethel, cry.
Weep, 0 ye Jumpers, and lament,
Ye congregations of Dissent!
Condole with us, ye Sunday Schools,
Derided as officious fools.
We’ve had our Liquor Bill kicked out;
Still to be sold are ale and stout.
Content we must, meanwhile, remain
Ourselves from liquors to abstain;
Can’t make our neighbours do so too ;
How cruel! What a shame! Boohoo !
THE DIGNITY OE THE ERENCIL LEGISLATURE.
What a people the Prench are! The Session of the
Corps Legislatif was closed with a speech from the Presi-
dent, the "Due de Morny. According to telegram:—
“ M. de Morny’s speech was received with great applause. The
deputies then separated with cries of ‘ Vive VEmpereur ! ’ ”
Pancy Parliament prorogued with the customary speech
from the Throne, read by Lord Westbury, and then
separating with cries of “ Long live the Queen ! ” Only
conceive the Earl of Derby and Earl Russell, Lords
Ellenborough and Granville, Lord Palmerston and
Mr Disraeli, Sir Stafford Northcote and Mr. Glad-
stone, Sir George Grey and Sir John Pakington,
Mr. Layard, Mr. Bright, Mr. Bernal Osborne, Mr.
Cobden and Mr. Roebuck, one and all taking leave of
each other with that loyal vociferation, and going away for
the Parliamentary vacation, shouting and bawling like boys
breaking up for the holidays.
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
June 6th. Monday. The hero of the week, and of all weeks in which
letters are delivered, Sir Rowland Hill, is to receive £20,000 as a
present from the Government, to which directly and indirectly, he will
have presented millions, with advantage and contentment, moreover,
to the contributors to the revenue. The gift was recommended, in the
Lords to-night, by the Chancellor in the name of the Queen. On
™_e following Wednesday, in the Sheldonian theatre at Oxford,
Mr. Punch had the pleasure and glory of seeing his distinguished friend
receive the degree of D.C.L., which may, pro hdc vice, be interpreted.
Donor of Cheap Letters.
The nuisance of Park Lane, the narrowest and most dangerous street
in civilised London, was assailed by Lord Lucan, Lord Malmes-
and the Commander-in-Chief. Of course, the authorities shift
the responsibility ; somebody says that it is the business of St. George’s
vestrv, somebody else that it is the Government business, and a third
somebody that it is the business of Thwaites, and among them all
people are knocked down and nearly killed, or the traffic is closely
blocked, fifty times a day. Why not break through Hamilton Place
without asking anybody’s leave, and then get an Act of Indemnity?
} •^re we always to be the slaves to red tape and vested interests ? There
is a corn-chandler, too, who has the fiendish wickedness and demoniacal
ettrontery to let carts, containing his goods, be loaded and unloaded at
ins door, to the hindrance of carriages ? Why is he not hanged ?
ihese are specimens of all the arguments on the subject. But some-
thing ought to be done, for Mr. Punch himself, who is royal in his love
w punctuality, was actually late at a party in Eaton Square last
Wednesday, owing to the Park Lane block, and to his having let his
outriders go to chapel.
An interesting conversation on Public School Education elicited the
important fact that when William Lennox Lascelles Pitzgerald
be Ros, Baron, was a little boy at school, he was fag to the present
Archbishop of Canterbury, cleaned his shoes, and doesn’t seem to
have been much wallopped by his Grace (or the marks have gone away),
or Lord de Ros declared to-night that fagging was a good institution.
Mr. Punch declares it to be nothing of the kind, but an institution that
makes a weak boy a sneak, and a strong boy a tyrant. The Bishop of
London, as usual, spoke wisely, deprecated leaving things as they are,
and strongly advocated the teaching French. So do we; not that
Prench is worth learning, for itself, for it is a wretched language, but
as (and possibly by reason of this last fact) the majority of people un-
derstand it, Prench is one of the disagreeable necessities of the time.
You do not learn French in order to study poetry or eloquence, but in
order to be able to vituperate Prench cooks, and assure the various
Prench ladies whom you meet that you have been, for the first time in
your life, inspired by each of them with a passion which will be enclosed
with you in the tomb. Therefore, we quite agree with the Bishop.
Lord Derby said that Grammar could not be taught at Public Schools.
We can’t say how this may be, but it never is. The Archbishop
thought that “French ought to be made imperative,” and our friend
the Elected of the Millions will doubtless concur with the Protestant
hierarch.
There has been a great powder explosion at Corfu, but Lord Har-
tington was happy to say that, as it had occurred since our troops left,
it was only Greeks that had been blown up.
Lady Elgin, widow of one of the best and ablest noblemen who ever
preferred serving his country to living an idle and foolish life, is, most
properly, to have a pension of £1000 a year, in testimony of our sense
of the merits of her illustrious husband. We trust that she may long
be reminded of a nation’s gratitude.
Then we had a lively row. The Conference was the theme, and Mr.
Disraeli made what Pam called “a magnificent_ display of virtuous
indignation.” He abused the Government for telling nothing, also for
having no policy, also for abandoning the policy which Lord Palmer-
ston had vigorously announced a few weeks back. The Premier com-
plained of being attacked when he could not defend himself, demanded
what policy the Opposition wanted, and refused further explanations.
Lord Robert Cecil accused him of making an experiment on the
patience of the House, and of betraying Denmark unefer the pretext of
serving her. Mr. Kinglake rather agreed, generally, with Mr.
Disraeli, but thought the Government might be right in backing out
of an untenable position.
Then we had a still livelier row. The National Gallery was the
theme, and Mr. Cowper asked for £10,000 towards the erection of a