DOI issue:
May 28, 1864
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16873#0225
May 28, 1864.]
PUNCH, OR THE1 LONDON CHARIVARI.
217
The City article of the Times is to be illus-
trated in future by lively woodcuts, appropriate
tc the several items of intelligence.
Some forcible representations have been
made for this purpose by eminent merchants
who desire to impart a genial interest to the
mass of figures now so painfully correct and
stiff, and which, in their deportment, really
ought to be allowed a little play. This hiero-
glyphic news will be more read than the present
prosy sentences, and while one glance at the
sketches will suffice for the busy merchant, con-
tinual amusement will be afforded by them to
his junior clerks.
A specimen of this improved money column,
with the meaning of each sketch, will show at
once how pleasant it will be to look at the
Illustrated Article.
FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE.
The Bourse opened flat,
DRAWN FROM THE BANK.
Leather Market.—Hides
downward tendency.
active, but with
demand. Tallow, yielding. Lard, lively. Paper,
no news. Rags, scarcely covering remittance
for rents. Chaff, no end of.
But assumed a more lively appearance after
business hours.
Iron Market.—Pigs dull.
Foreign Stocks.-
1 advanced.
-A shade higher, and gold
Cotton Market.—Stiipes tending upwards-
Grey shirtings still unchanged. Soap, no
Confederate Bonds. —
Those still on hand are not
; so tight as formerly.
Among the new com-
panies lately formed (which
will soon be enough for
an administrative battalion)
is the “Butcher’s Beefsteak
Association (Limited).”
This is a joint-stock con-
cern.
NEWS FROM SYDENHAM.
Godfather to the Crystal Palace, and having in that capacity care-
fully tended it from the erection of the first iron to the end of the last
concert, and being moreover on the whole tolerably well satisfied with
his god-child, Mr. Punch has received, not without emotion, a circular
upon one subject which has always given him pain.
There is no doubt that the Refreshment Department at the Palace
has been the Blot on the Transparent Escutcheon. No civilised person
ever thinks of dining there. _ Yet it would be the pleasantest place near
London for the great business of life, could that business be per-
formed with befitting rites. How delightful it were, to the husband
whose occupation keeps him in town during the day, to appoint a
meeting at seven, at the Rosery, with her whom he has sworn not only
to cherish but to nourish, and with whom, sweetly smiling at his punc-
tuality, he might proceed to the brilliant saloon, or the quiet cabinet,
feast, tastefully, yet not extravagantly, and then, emerging into Sir
Joseph’s lovely gardens, send up the only cloud that should come over
the happiness of good-tempered persons in easy circumstances. How
pleasant for the father of a couple or a leash of bright-eyed daughters—
for the manly and kindly-bantering son of an attached mother—for the
attentive nephew of two not unendowed and non-evangelical aunts—for
the lover of a graceful maiden and (for the time) of her placid Mamma—
to finish a charming promenade in that Palace with either a merry, calm,
or sentimental repast, according to idiosyncrasy. But hitherto the thing
Pas been impossible.
Not, Mr. Punch repeats, without emotion, has he received a touching
Circular or Communication, stating that a new era has commenced.
Two new Men appear upon the scene. He knows nothing, literally
nothing of them, but their names are of good omen. One is called
Bertram, a name dear to the admirers of Robert le Liable, and the
other is called, not Robert, but Roberts, a name that hath been borne
by many good men, and by no bad men that we remember. Let us
overhaul their manifesto.
They promise Important Improvements. Mr. Punch assures them
that the field is almost unlimited.
New Dining Saloons, adapted for from four to thirty people. Thirty
be hanged, but a room for four will hold Mr. and Mrs. Punch, and he
often wants a room that will hold eight, and never sits down with more.
Roberts is, personally, to superintend the cuisine. We like the
word personally.” It would be pleasant to us to know that lie had
kicked a cook, pour encourager les autres. Let him be stern, and never
make an excuse for a cook under any circumstances whatever, except
the non-punctuality of guests, whom, under such circumstances, we
hereby authorise.him to insult, blandly. A cook is the slave of Time,
and owes his chief allegiance there. In any other case of complaint,
let the cook’s second offence be his last.
The Tariff will be arranged with Moderation. All very well, but
cheapness is dearness if nastiness be present. Charge reasonably for
good viands. We do not want a slap-bang on Sydenham Hill, neither
do we want to pay as at Richmond, where a season hath three months
only. We will dine with you all the year round if you will make it
worth our while.
“ The Wines have been selected from the best cellars.” We shall
take the liberty of testing this statement before we offer a remark,
beyond saying that we have drunk,—at least tasted—wine—at least
fluid—whereof we can only say that we have no doubt that it was
selected from the best cellars, to be got rid of, as we select weeds from
gardens.
“ Allsopp’s Pale Ale. Barclay and Perkins’s Porter.” These
be good words ; pace Mr. Banting.
“ The Refreshment Counters will present an increased display of
light refreshments.” Well, an improvement on dry sandwiches and
stale sponge cakes is conceivable. “ There will be greater quickness
of attendance.” Hitherto, so far as Mr. Punch has observed, the
waiters either quarrel frightfully, or converse confidentially, and in
neither case is the public a gainer. “ The Tea and Coffee will be of the
highest character.” We never tried the tea, but, urged by unwise
women, have three or four times ordered what was called coffee, and
though it might be good enough for ladies at the Crystal Palace, no
high-minded gentleman at penal servitude would praise it. Mr. Lit-
timer would have said that it did him good to be tried with the coffee
of affliction, and Mr. Uriah Heep would have said that it was ’umble
stuff and we ought to be ’umble. When one thinks of the coffee in
Paris—Bom !
Well, Punch is true to his god-child, and gladly gives it this one more
chance in regard to Refreshments, it is the most important question
connected with the well-doing of the Palace. Make the Crystal
Dinner a London feature. We shall be down, incog, one of these fine
days, and our report of the proceedings shall be as frank and outspoken
as has been our welcome of the promise. Shall we not take our ease in
our Crystal ?
PUNCH, OR THE1 LONDON CHARIVARI.
217
The City article of the Times is to be illus-
trated in future by lively woodcuts, appropriate
tc the several items of intelligence.
Some forcible representations have been
made for this purpose by eminent merchants
who desire to impart a genial interest to the
mass of figures now so painfully correct and
stiff, and which, in their deportment, really
ought to be allowed a little play. This hiero-
glyphic news will be more read than the present
prosy sentences, and while one glance at the
sketches will suffice for the busy merchant, con-
tinual amusement will be afforded by them to
his junior clerks.
A specimen of this improved money column,
with the meaning of each sketch, will show at
once how pleasant it will be to look at the
Illustrated Article.
FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE.
The Bourse opened flat,
DRAWN FROM THE BANK.
Leather Market.—Hides
downward tendency.
active, but with
demand. Tallow, yielding. Lard, lively. Paper,
no news. Rags, scarcely covering remittance
for rents. Chaff, no end of.
But assumed a more lively appearance after
business hours.
Iron Market.—Pigs dull.
Foreign Stocks.-
1 advanced.
-A shade higher, and gold
Cotton Market.—Stiipes tending upwards-
Grey shirtings still unchanged. Soap, no
Confederate Bonds. —
Those still on hand are not
; so tight as formerly.
Among the new com-
panies lately formed (which
will soon be enough for
an administrative battalion)
is the “Butcher’s Beefsteak
Association (Limited).”
This is a joint-stock con-
cern.
NEWS FROM SYDENHAM.
Godfather to the Crystal Palace, and having in that capacity care-
fully tended it from the erection of the first iron to the end of the last
concert, and being moreover on the whole tolerably well satisfied with
his god-child, Mr. Punch has received, not without emotion, a circular
upon one subject which has always given him pain.
There is no doubt that the Refreshment Department at the Palace
has been the Blot on the Transparent Escutcheon. No civilised person
ever thinks of dining there. _ Yet it would be the pleasantest place near
London for the great business of life, could that business be per-
formed with befitting rites. How delightful it were, to the husband
whose occupation keeps him in town during the day, to appoint a
meeting at seven, at the Rosery, with her whom he has sworn not only
to cherish but to nourish, and with whom, sweetly smiling at his punc-
tuality, he might proceed to the brilliant saloon, or the quiet cabinet,
feast, tastefully, yet not extravagantly, and then, emerging into Sir
Joseph’s lovely gardens, send up the only cloud that should come over
the happiness of good-tempered persons in easy circumstances. How
pleasant for the father of a couple or a leash of bright-eyed daughters—
for the manly and kindly-bantering son of an attached mother—for the
attentive nephew of two not unendowed and non-evangelical aunts—for
the lover of a graceful maiden and (for the time) of her placid Mamma—
to finish a charming promenade in that Palace with either a merry, calm,
or sentimental repast, according to idiosyncrasy. But hitherto the thing
Pas been impossible.
Not, Mr. Punch repeats, without emotion, has he received a touching
Circular or Communication, stating that a new era has commenced.
Two new Men appear upon the scene. He knows nothing, literally
nothing of them, but their names are of good omen. One is called
Bertram, a name dear to the admirers of Robert le Liable, and the
other is called, not Robert, but Roberts, a name that hath been borne
by many good men, and by no bad men that we remember. Let us
overhaul their manifesto.
They promise Important Improvements. Mr. Punch assures them
that the field is almost unlimited.
New Dining Saloons, adapted for from four to thirty people. Thirty
be hanged, but a room for four will hold Mr. and Mrs. Punch, and he
often wants a room that will hold eight, and never sits down with more.
Roberts is, personally, to superintend the cuisine. We like the
word personally.” It would be pleasant to us to know that lie had
kicked a cook, pour encourager les autres. Let him be stern, and never
make an excuse for a cook under any circumstances whatever, except
the non-punctuality of guests, whom, under such circumstances, we
hereby authorise.him to insult, blandly. A cook is the slave of Time,
and owes his chief allegiance there. In any other case of complaint,
let the cook’s second offence be his last.
The Tariff will be arranged with Moderation. All very well, but
cheapness is dearness if nastiness be present. Charge reasonably for
good viands. We do not want a slap-bang on Sydenham Hill, neither
do we want to pay as at Richmond, where a season hath three months
only. We will dine with you all the year round if you will make it
worth our while.
“ The Wines have been selected from the best cellars.” We shall
take the liberty of testing this statement before we offer a remark,
beyond saying that we have drunk,—at least tasted—wine—at least
fluid—whereof we can only say that we have no doubt that it was
selected from the best cellars, to be got rid of, as we select weeds from
gardens.
“ Allsopp’s Pale Ale. Barclay and Perkins’s Porter.” These
be good words ; pace Mr. Banting.
“ The Refreshment Counters will present an increased display of
light refreshments.” Well, an improvement on dry sandwiches and
stale sponge cakes is conceivable. “ There will be greater quickness
of attendance.” Hitherto, so far as Mr. Punch has observed, the
waiters either quarrel frightfully, or converse confidentially, and in
neither case is the public a gainer. “ The Tea and Coffee will be of the
highest character.” We never tried the tea, but, urged by unwise
women, have three or four times ordered what was called coffee, and
though it might be good enough for ladies at the Crystal Palace, no
high-minded gentleman at penal servitude would praise it. Mr. Lit-
timer would have said that it did him good to be tried with the coffee
of affliction, and Mr. Uriah Heep would have said that it was ’umble
stuff and we ought to be ’umble. When one thinks of the coffee in
Paris—Bom !
Well, Punch is true to his god-child, and gladly gives it this one more
chance in regard to Refreshments, it is the most important question
connected with the well-doing of the Palace. Make the Crystal
Dinner a London feature. We shall be down, incog, one of these fine
days, and our report of the proceedings shall be as frank and outspoken
as has been our welcome of the promise. Shall we not take our ease in
our Crystal ?