Punch: Punch (46.1864)

130

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. I'Mabch 26, 1864.

that is the sort of thing which your Reverences do in
retaining your preferment on condition of remaining in law-
established fellowship with a man whom you denounce and
punish as a heretic, but who, if you were to call him one,
might prosecute you for libel. Declining to suffer for con-
science’ sake yourselves, perhaps your Reverences would
be content to assert your orthodoxy by giving a .Bishop,
whom you feared to reject, as much annoyance as you might
be able to cause him by any proceeding which would sub-
ject him to a privation of income.

The patience which enables you to put up with a judg-
ment that forces you to endure the communion of those
whom you anathematise, is a patience which transcends
resignation. So you continue in association with those
whom you deem misbelievers, and reconcile your position
with your consciences by the consideration that it enables
you to persecute them.

A PAIR OF POETS.

There is a Bard, the heir of fame,

His countrymen’s delight.

He has a universal name—

Mind you pronounce it right.

It*seems to rhyme, not, as in gross
Mistake we did suppose,

As o does in cathedral close;

So call him Poet Close.

The sons of song in couples run;

’Tis wondrous how they do.

For instance, there is Homer, one.

And there is Virgil, two.
Shakspeare with Milton we combine;

Beaumont with Pletcher goes ;
Dryden with Pope ; whose mighty line
With that of Poet Close ?

Just as we Scott with Byron pair,

And Wordsworth makes us think.

Of Southey, even so we dare
Two living Bards to link.

In either’s verse, with kindred light,

The fire of Genius glows ;

And Poet Tupper we may cite
Along with Poet Close.

THE PECUNIARY TEST.

Glorious majority of the Oxford Convocation; Reverend and Magnanimous
Gentlemen! Knowing that the salary of your Greek Professor ought to be ten times
gs much as it is, you had the generosity and the justice to vote against the pro-
j)osed statute for giving him the remu aeration due to his services. _ Your most sage
reason for doing this wise and noble act was that Mr. Jowett, within the latitude
fallowed by the Established Church, holds theological opinions which differ from
your own.

You had a perfect right to vote that; Mr. Jowett should not be paid more than
one-tenth of what he ought to receive for teaching the University Greek. That
is to say, you cannot be taken up and indicted for the injustice which you have done
Mr. Jowett ; nor has that gentleman even an action for damages against you.

Yes, you had a right, in as far as you were able, to vote for denying Mr. Jowett
the means of subsistence. Much more has anybody, having the power, the right,
on the contrary, to give him a living.

There may be some persons, commanding ecclesiastical patronage, who would
rather, of the two, that Mr. Jowett should make a living at Oxford than hold
one in the Church; but who, since you refuse him the former, will determine to
give him the latter.

The Crown would have an indisputable right to prefer Mr. Jowett to a
Bishopric ; and would not this make very neat_ amends for the persecution
endured by a Regius Professor ? What if the ultimate result of your attempt to
vindicate your opinions on a solemn subject by rejecting the proposal to raise a
gentleman’s salary, and thus withholding from an industrious labourer the hire of
which you knew’ he was worthy, should be a Bishop Jowett ? But that Mr.
Jowett was worthy of the hire which you piously withheld from him is perhaps more
than some of you did know. There is reason to suppose that, among the reverend
persecutors of the Oxford Professor of Greek, there are too many who at any
rate do not know the value of that language. Otherwise, for teaching it (to those
who are able to learn it) they would hardly have limited him to £40 a-year.

If the Crown should be advised to elevate Mr. Jowett to the episcopal Bench,
suppose the conge d’elire, the gracious permission to choose the nominee, should
be addressed to some of you. Perhaps your Dean and Chapter would refuse obedi-
ence to the Royal mandate; and, for conscience sake, submit to the penalty in
such case made and provided. Perhaps they would accept the alternative of
electing the Bishop, or taking the consequences; and elect the Bishop. Because

The Poet Tupper has a hold
On playful minds and mild,

And therefore have his poems sold
Like fire of species wild.

The other Poet, doubtless, would
As fast of his dispose,

Were but the sportive, green, and good.

Aware of Poet Close.

Oft Tupper, with unconscious touch,

Will make your sides ache sore;

You ’ll laugh at Poet Close as much,

But he intends no more.

Nor is his pen to verse confined;

He likewise deals in prose.

Lo both, with graphic art combined—

A book by Poet Close ! *

Poor Close’s pension was revoked,

O revocation hard!

Pun because envious, critics poked
At Kirkby-Stephen’s Bard.

What matter, if the Public pays
The Minstrel what it owes,

And gilds, like Poet Tupper’s bays,

The wreath of Poet Close ?

* Poet Close's Grand Sensation Book, The Wise Man of Stainmore, &c.
J. Close, Kirkby-Stephen, Westmoreland English literature has
also just been enriched with Cithara ; a Selection from the Lyrics of
Martin F. Topper. It contains some new pieces, in which Mr.
Tupper has excelled himself: but Nemo repentefuit Tupperrimus."

Prize Riddle.

If a Gang of Labourers on a Railway Line were to emi-
grate in a New Vessel, why would the Starting of that
Ship resemble an Awful Pall of Snow ?

Because it would be a Navvy-Launch.