DOI issue:
May 7, 1864
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16873#0198
190
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[May 7, 1864.
A TABLE D’HOTE AT PARIS.
Attentive Sivell (to elegant and fascinating American young Lady, who has been monopolising the adjacent Gentlemen all through dinner).
“Let me give you some of this” (handing Article of Dessert)
Belle Americainc. “No, thanks!—Well, then, a very little; for I guess I’m pretty crowded NOW."
[.Horror of Swells ; triumph of neighbouring Female British Contingent.
T1IE TEUTONIC ORDER OF VALOUR.
Live Pirates, on a Monday morn,
In front of Newgate lately swung.
’Mid yells of loathing, hate, and scorn,
For some few murders they were hung.
Tis thus that common caitiffs swing,
Who do but slay their two or three,
Whilst tens of thousands doth a King,
And goes unhanged and gallows-free.
The blood shed in aggressive war,
Which Kings consent to, or command.
Think you that Heaven doth less abhor
Than that which stains a cutthroat’s hand ?
’Tis murder foul on either part,
As men will own in aftertime,
No difference, to an honest heart,
Except the greatness of the crime.
Old dastard, who in selfish dread
Of peril to thy tottering crown.
Didst send the troops thou durst not head
To batter a defenceless town.
A sea of blood, which they have spilt,
Against thee cries to Judgment’s throne !
What doom on earth, for all the guilt
Of Denmark’s ravage, can atone?
No, when thy spirit shall take wing,
Air, in thy boots, thou wilt not tread,
But shrieks of mangled Danes will ring.
In thy mind’s ear, around thy bed.
As Nicholas, the cruel Czar,
Unscathed of human justice, went,
So thou wilt go to yonder bar,
Not as a small assassin’s sent.
But take this bauble, mimic shape,
In little, of the Triple Tree, i
And Noose, which evil Kings escape;
A testimonial, Sire, to thee.
Oh ! let it, as an Order, grace
Thy breast, and merit, there display.
More than would well have earned a place
With those men hanged the other day.
ARISTOGYMNASTICS.
“ The Countess de G"*** will have a dance in Carlton Gardens on the 6th.”
So says the Post, and we do not see the slightest reason why a lady
who is, we hope and suppose, in the full enjoyment of health and animal
spirits, should not treat herself to a little dance round the gardens of
her residence. We trust that old Wateringpotts, the gardener, will
take care to have the walks properly swept from leaves, and if there are
many slugs, he must throw them into the next garden. He has been
spoken to once or twice about that heap of litter near the rolling-stone,
and we are sure it will not be necessary to mention it again. The lady’s j
maid must and will be in attendance with a shawl, as, after exercise in j
the open air, a chill is undesirable. We trust that the Countess de
G**** will enjoy her little dance round the garden; and if she likes to
take a skipping-rope, by way of change, we see no objection. As we J
are appealed to by the publication of the paragraph, common politeness
compels us to say that we strongly approve of ladies taking al fresco \
amusement.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[May 7, 1864.
A TABLE D’HOTE AT PARIS.
Attentive Sivell (to elegant and fascinating American young Lady, who has been monopolising the adjacent Gentlemen all through dinner).
“Let me give you some of this” (handing Article of Dessert)
Belle Americainc. “No, thanks!—Well, then, a very little; for I guess I’m pretty crowded NOW."
[.Horror of Swells ; triumph of neighbouring Female British Contingent.
T1IE TEUTONIC ORDER OF VALOUR.
Live Pirates, on a Monday morn,
In front of Newgate lately swung.
’Mid yells of loathing, hate, and scorn,
For some few murders they were hung.
Tis thus that common caitiffs swing,
Who do but slay their two or three,
Whilst tens of thousands doth a King,
And goes unhanged and gallows-free.
The blood shed in aggressive war,
Which Kings consent to, or command.
Think you that Heaven doth less abhor
Than that which stains a cutthroat’s hand ?
’Tis murder foul on either part,
As men will own in aftertime,
No difference, to an honest heart,
Except the greatness of the crime.
Old dastard, who in selfish dread
Of peril to thy tottering crown.
Didst send the troops thou durst not head
To batter a defenceless town.
A sea of blood, which they have spilt,
Against thee cries to Judgment’s throne !
What doom on earth, for all the guilt
Of Denmark’s ravage, can atone?
No, when thy spirit shall take wing,
Air, in thy boots, thou wilt not tread,
But shrieks of mangled Danes will ring.
In thy mind’s ear, around thy bed.
As Nicholas, the cruel Czar,
Unscathed of human justice, went,
So thou wilt go to yonder bar,
Not as a small assassin’s sent.
But take this bauble, mimic shape,
In little, of the Triple Tree, i
And Noose, which evil Kings escape;
A testimonial, Sire, to thee.
Oh ! let it, as an Order, grace
Thy breast, and merit, there display.
More than would well have earned a place
With those men hanged the other day.
ARISTOGYMNASTICS.
“ The Countess de G"*** will have a dance in Carlton Gardens on the 6th.”
So says the Post, and we do not see the slightest reason why a lady
who is, we hope and suppose, in the full enjoyment of health and animal
spirits, should not treat herself to a little dance round the gardens of
her residence. We trust that old Wateringpotts, the gardener, will
take care to have the walks properly swept from leaves, and if there are
many slugs, he must throw them into the next garden. He has been
spoken to once or twice about that heap of litter near the rolling-stone,
and we are sure it will not be necessary to mention it again. The lady’s j
maid must and will be in attendance with a shawl, as, after exercise in j
the open air, a chill is undesirable. We trust that the Countess de
G**** will enjoy her little dance round the garden; and if she likes to
take a skipping-rope, by way of change, we see no objection. As we J
are appealed to by the publication of the paragraph, common politeness
compels us to say that we strongly approve of ladies taking al fresco \
amusement.