Punch: Punch (52.1867)

24

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[January 19, '133.7.

HERE YOU SEE

The most Successful Amateur Musical Party of the Season. Pianos, Harmoniums, &c., provided regardless of Expense.
Every Amateur performing at once. Choice of Music optional to each. Ho one compelled to Listen to any one. Never
Enjoyed themselves so much in their Lives. Jubilant old Man, in the middle, stone deaf : cause of his Jubilation
unknown. Hostess looking after Supper. Host smoking quiet Cigar in the Kitchen.

\Our artist apologises if any of the Instruments are incorrectly drawn. The only Instrument he can either draw or play upon correctly
is the “ bones."—(He came late, and left early.)

THE GREAT MILL OF BLACKIE AND JONES.

I sing of a mill that the papers did fill—

Eight columns of type closely piled—

At the town of Auld Reekie, in style rather cheeky
And cool, “ Modern Athens,” self-styled.

Where in wordy-duello encountering his fellow—

A Demosthenes each, with the stones—

On Democracy’s bane and Democracy’s gain,

Ding-dong at it went Blackie and Jones.

First Blackie went in determined to win.

Or, O’CoNNOR-like, die on the floor :

And with ink from the bottle of old Aristotle
Daubed the ancient Democracies o’er:

Proclaimed himself foeman of Cicero’s Roman,

Picked Italian republics’ old bones :

Made France sorrow sup, and the Yankees chawed up.

In the first round of Blackie and Jones.

’Twas a caution to see with what truculent glee
To the dead men he gave his one, two :

How he proved what none questioned, and all of the rest shunned.
How wide of the question he flew.

Granting counsel were clients, and windmills were giants,

That present but echoes past’s tones,

Ne’er were giants so floored, ne’er such innings was scored.

As the first in re Blackie and Jones.

Then Blackie to match Ernest Jones toed the scratch.

For Democracy did his devoir,

And drew with bus blows as much couleur de rose
As Blackie tapped couleur de noir :

With superfluous pluck ran a terrible muck
At aristocrats, tyrants, and thrones,

At his own windmills flew, and his own giants slew.

In round second of Blackie and Jones.

If our nobles were knaves, and our working-men slaves-
If steam had not yet been invented;

If we kidnapped our labour, and hated, our neighbour.
And with Heathenism’s law sat contented :

If A. D. were B. C.; England over the sea;

If our calendar marked ides and nones !

But, without these large if's, mere spouting club tiffs
Are debates d la Blackie and Jones.

Where Blackie saw evil and deeds of the devil,

Jones saw good and the Gospel in action;

But as each made a case, where the facts had no place,
Honest people may feel satisfaction.

Fights of BLACKiE-Democracy JoNES-Aristocracy
Are fights that can never break bones :

Though they may ease the mind, and get rid of the w/ud
Of warriors like Blackie and Jones.

Variation on the Bones.

A Lecture was advertised, the other day, “On the Skeletons of the
Primates,”—by, we suppose, the kind permission of the Three Graces ■
that is, his Grace of Canterbury, his of York, and his of Dublin.

Proverb by our Servant-oe-all-Work.—Wishes won’t
Dishes.