April 20, 1867.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
155
I
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Judicious speeches by Peers, on Monday, April 8, touching the
Spanish questions. No reason to believe Spain really hostile to
England, dubious circumstances in the Tornado case, very proper
dispatches by Lord Stanley, hope that things would look less serious
after Easter—all highly proper and diplomatic, meantime ships go from
Malta to Gibraltar. The Spaniards had better keep to the savage
sports of their arena, they are safer than John Bullfighting.
Very premature question by Mr. Goldsmid. Wanted to know
when the St. Paul’s Monument to the Duke oe Wellington, for
which we voted in 1858 £20,000, would be ready. Why, it is not quite
seventeen years since the Duke died. Lord John Manners said that
in about two years we should see it. We shan’t.
Lord Stanley very neat. Asked by Mr. Darby Griffith
whether the ships had left for the Spanish coast, answered that
Gibraltar was within the ordinary cruising ground of the fleet, and
that there was nothing unusual in a ship or two leaving Malta for an
excursion. High comedy, exiled from the theatres, takes refuge at
Westminster.
But we have had still higher comedy, with a fine intrigue, and some
striking situations, leading up to a climax. Mr. Punch duly recorded
that a Notice on the Reform question had been given by the Liberals.
This was for an Instruction to the Committee, and was designed
materially to alter the Bill. Mr. Coleridge was to move it, in his
most elegant manner, on the Monday in last week. But, before
evening, about half a hundred Liberals met in the Tea Room, and
decided that they should be Spoons if they stirred in the matter. _ The
proposal of Mr. Gladstone would appear to the country as restrictive
of the Suffrage which the Government Bill offered. The announce-
ment of their discontent was made to Mr. Gladstone, and at the last
moment it was decided that all definiteness should be struck out of
the Instruction. So there was a pleasing little scene in the House,
Mr. Locke asking Mr. Disraeli whether he would assent to the
motion if cut down to its first line, and Mr. Disraeli gravely asking
whether Mr. Locke had any authority to make the suggestion. On
Mr. Locke’s saying that he had authority, Mr. Disraeli, with
lengthened sweetness long drawn out—at least not exactly sweetness,
but suavity, and after reading out, deliberately, every word of the
doomed notice, so that, as he said, no mistake might be made,
graciously assented to the proposal, which simply affirmed what the
Government, and also Lord Grosvenor took to be undeniable,
namely, that the Committee had power to alter the law of Rating.
To-night the Liberal party came to grief, and some smart speaking by
Mr. Osborne and Mr. Lowe (who pitched heavily into Sir Stafford
North cote for changing his views and simultaneously rising in office),
was scarcely a consolation.
Hut Mr. Gladstone rose, acer et iracundus, and gave another notice,
which, of course, was divided into three parts. It will be understood,
from what Mr. Disraeli said of it in a circular to his supporters. It
was Mr. Coleridge’s Instruction in a new form, and it any of the
points were carried, the Government would throw up the Bill.
These points were—
(1) To reduce the term of occupancy from two years to one year.
(2) To let occupiers under £10 have votes in respect of any tene-
ments, and not limit the franchise to dwelling-houses.
(3) To give a £5 franchise, instead of one based on personal pay-
ment of rates.
Then did the Reform Bill go into Committee—a fact to be noted in
the history of progress.
Then we at once shut up Reform until the Thursday.
Tuesday. The venerable and virtuous Lord Westmeath got upon
Ritualism, and maundered into a scold at the Bishop of Oxford for
having consecrated a church bell. The Duke of Marlborough ex-
plained that the Bishop of Oxford bad done nothing of the kind, but
on the contrary, had on the occasion in question censured the Church
of Rome for baptising bells. This drew a letter from the ever-ready
Sir George Bowyer, stating that Rome does not baptise bells, but
only expresses a hope that they may ring the faithful to advantageous
devotions. He added, that many bells had names, but this fact had
nothing to do with religion. He might have mentioned Tom of Oxford,
Ben of Westminster, and Punch of St. Bride’s.
Sir Morton Peto desired a Select Committee for the purpose of
examining into the entire history of the London, Chatham, and Dover
Railway, and the conduct of its managers. Both Mr. Disraeli and
Mr. Gladstone informed him that the House had other business
beside the whitewashing railway people. Then, nervous Mr. What-
man, who had given a notice implying charges against two other
Members, was vehemently assailed by them, and showed, rather pain-
fully, that he had either no case, or (as Mr. Esmonds classically
remarked about the Waterford business) “funked the fight.” Ser-
jeant Gaselee thought that Mr. Whatman should withdraw his
charges “ almost on his knees,” but we presume that anatomical obsta-
cles prevented this feat.
Next, the Duke of Somerset had to be cleared of imputations
touching the Totnes election. Sir Roundell Palmer did the work
skilfully, but Mr. Punch's view of the Duke’s ideas is that they
resemble some which Madame Vestris, as a lady’s maid, attributed
to her mistress, in one of the delightful Olympic farces. “ To have
her own way in everything is one of the few things about which
Madame is very particular.”
Abolition of anti-Catholic oaths by office-holders, very good speaking
by the two leaders, and a Protestant victory (gained by 3 in a Com-
mittee of 283), by which it is still forbidden to the Lord-Lieutenant
of Ireland to be a Catholic, though his master, the Home Secretary,
may be one. Mr. Whalley was frantic over some rebel oaths which
pledged the Catholic takers to the extremely disagreeable process of
“ wading to the knee in the red gore of Saxon tyrants,” but if the
Committee heard him—at all events no notice was taken of his antics.
Wednesday. The Oxford and Cambridge Test Race was rowed, and
was a dead heat. But umpire Gladstone is dissatisfied, and it will
have to be rowed over again. In other words, the Test abolition which
was to be confined to Oxford, was on the motion of Professor
Fawcett, extended to Cambridge also, by 263 to 166, but Mr Glad-
stone means to modify matters in Committee.
Thursday. We lend Canada money for railway purposes, and Lord
Russell managed to hitch in a bellicose word. We ought certainly
to defend Canada against the United States, if necessary, and the
States ought to feel that in attacking her they attacked the whole
power of England. Mr. Punch had not heard from America anything
which called for this fire.
A speech from Lord Shaftesbury, giving such insight into the
accursed system of Agricultural Gangs as ought to make Pharisees
blush with shame, and Christians with indignation.
Then was resumed the Reform Battle, and the Choosers of the Slain
waved their dusky wings, and shrieked with cruel joy.
It was an awfully stupid night, though. There was an attempt to
postpone the business till after Easter, in the hope of a compromise,
but Mr. Bright asked who was going to stop in town and cook such a
thing ? It was decided to go on. Mr. Darby Griffith once more
thrust himself in the way, but was promptly shoved out of it, and
Clauses 1 and 2 were agreed to.
On clause 3, Mr. Gladstone, in a long speech, moved his first
amendment, and was answered by the Solicitor-General. Sir
William Heathcote, Conservative, went dead against Govern-
ment, and so did Lord Cranborne, late Conservative Minister. Mr.
Henley spoke well, against the amendment, denounced the Small
Tenements Act as a Device of Old Nick to make poor people pay who
couldn’t, and predicted gloomy things. The debate was adjourned,
whereas to-night the House should have risen for Easter.
Friday. But it was not stupid to-night, for we had all sorts of
personalities, a smart debate, a tremendous whip, and a great division.
Firstly, to calm the mind of the legislators, and to put them into a
fitting state to consider and decide upon a great constitutional question,
we had a row, originated by Mr. Osborne, over a document supposed
to have been shown for the purpose of getting some votes for Govern-
ment. It purported to intimate that the Premier and Mr. Disraeli
approved a device of Mr. Hibbert’s, about Compound Householders.
When the Committee had been thoroughly excited, Lord Stanley, in a
manly fashion, repudiated the alleged pledge, and said the Government
desired to be judged only on the merits of the question.
Then we got on Reform.
Mr. Roebuck fought for the Bill, and hit some Opposition men
very hard.
Mr. Beresford Hope opposed it, and gave Mr. Disraeli much
sauce. Mr. Hope talked of the Asian Mystery. But Mr. Disraeli
is a dangerous person to gird at, and in return he complimented Mr.
Hope on his Exhibitions, adding sweetly that their Batavian grace
took away their sting. The Hopes are of Dutch descent.
Nine men followed. “ Lethe is a brave river.”
Mr. Horsman said that but for party, five-sixths of the House,
including the Ministry, would support Mr. Gladstone.
Mr. Hardy defended the Bill, boldly and ably.
Mr. Bright attacked it, and said that three-fourths of the Liberals
were opposed to household suffrage. He complimented Lord Cran-
borne in a most elegant manner.
The Chancellor of the Exchequer took all their weapons in
his target, and made a good fight, occasionally cutting down a deserter,
to encourage the others.
Mr. Gladstone gracefully alleged that there was no animosity
between himself and his able rival, though they had fought sharply,
and would probably do so again. He then defended his amendment.
At half-past one the Division came, and Government was victorious.
Mr. Gladstone was defeated by 310 to 288—majority 22,_ and the
shouting of the Ministerialists woke the swans that were sleeping upon
the river to be ready to see Oxford beat Cambridge six hours later by
a quarter of a length.
Both Houses rose for the holidays, the Commons until the 29th of
April, the Lords till the 2nd of May. “For this relief, much thanks.”
I
!
I
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
155
I
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
Judicious speeches by Peers, on Monday, April 8, touching the
Spanish questions. No reason to believe Spain really hostile to
England, dubious circumstances in the Tornado case, very proper
dispatches by Lord Stanley, hope that things would look less serious
after Easter—all highly proper and diplomatic, meantime ships go from
Malta to Gibraltar. The Spaniards had better keep to the savage
sports of their arena, they are safer than John Bullfighting.
Very premature question by Mr. Goldsmid. Wanted to know
when the St. Paul’s Monument to the Duke oe Wellington, for
which we voted in 1858 £20,000, would be ready. Why, it is not quite
seventeen years since the Duke died. Lord John Manners said that
in about two years we should see it. We shan’t.
Lord Stanley very neat. Asked by Mr. Darby Griffith
whether the ships had left for the Spanish coast, answered that
Gibraltar was within the ordinary cruising ground of the fleet, and
that there was nothing unusual in a ship or two leaving Malta for an
excursion. High comedy, exiled from the theatres, takes refuge at
Westminster.
But we have had still higher comedy, with a fine intrigue, and some
striking situations, leading up to a climax. Mr. Punch duly recorded
that a Notice on the Reform question had been given by the Liberals.
This was for an Instruction to the Committee, and was designed
materially to alter the Bill. Mr. Coleridge was to move it, in his
most elegant manner, on the Monday in last week. But, before
evening, about half a hundred Liberals met in the Tea Room, and
decided that they should be Spoons if they stirred in the matter. _ The
proposal of Mr. Gladstone would appear to the country as restrictive
of the Suffrage which the Government Bill offered. The announce-
ment of their discontent was made to Mr. Gladstone, and at the last
moment it was decided that all definiteness should be struck out of
the Instruction. So there was a pleasing little scene in the House,
Mr. Locke asking Mr. Disraeli whether he would assent to the
motion if cut down to its first line, and Mr. Disraeli gravely asking
whether Mr. Locke had any authority to make the suggestion. On
Mr. Locke’s saying that he had authority, Mr. Disraeli, with
lengthened sweetness long drawn out—at least not exactly sweetness,
but suavity, and after reading out, deliberately, every word of the
doomed notice, so that, as he said, no mistake might be made,
graciously assented to the proposal, which simply affirmed what the
Government, and also Lord Grosvenor took to be undeniable,
namely, that the Committee had power to alter the law of Rating.
To-night the Liberal party came to grief, and some smart speaking by
Mr. Osborne and Mr. Lowe (who pitched heavily into Sir Stafford
North cote for changing his views and simultaneously rising in office),
was scarcely a consolation.
Hut Mr. Gladstone rose, acer et iracundus, and gave another notice,
which, of course, was divided into three parts. It will be understood,
from what Mr. Disraeli said of it in a circular to his supporters. It
was Mr. Coleridge’s Instruction in a new form, and it any of the
points were carried, the Government would throw up the Bill.
These points were—
(1) To reduce the term of occupancy from two years to one year.
(2) To let occupiers under £10 have votes in respect of any tene-
ments, and not limit the franchise to dwelling-houses.
(3) To give a £5 franchise, instead of one based on personal pay-
ment of rates.
Then did the Reform Bill go into Committee—a fact to be noted in
the history of progress.
Then we at once shut up Reform until the Thursday.
Tuesday. The venerable and virtuous Lord Westmeath got upon
Ritualism, and maundered into a scold at the Bishop of Oxford for
having consecrated a church bell. The Duke of Marlborough ex-
plained that the Bishop of Oxford bad done nothing of the kind, but
on the contrary, had on the occasion in question censured the Church
of Rome for baptising bells. This drew a letter from the ever-ready
Sir George Bowyer, stating that Rome does not baptise bells, but
only expresses a hope that they may ring the faithful to advantageous
devotions. He added, that many bells had names, but this fact had
nothing to do with religion. He might have mentioned Tom of Oxford,
Ben of Westminster, and Punch of St. Bride’s.
Sir Morton Peto desired a Select Committee for the purpose of
examining into the entire history of the London, Chatham, and Dover
Railway, and the conduct of its managers. Both Mr. Disraeli and
Mr. Gladstone informed him that the House had other business
beside the whitewashing railway people. Then, nervous Mr. What-
man, who had given a notice implying charges against two other
Members, was vehemently assailed by them, and showed, rather pain-
fully, that he had either no case, or (as Mr. Esmonds classically
remarked about the Waterford business) “funked the fight.” Ser-
jeant Gaselee thought that Mr. Whatman should withdraw his
charges “ almost on his knees,” but we presume that anatomical obsta-
cles prevented this feat.
Next, the Duke of Somerset had to be cleared of imputations
touching the Totnes election. Sir Roundell Palmer did the work
skilfully, but Mr. Punch's view of the Duke’s ideas is that they
resemble some which Madame Vestris, as a lady’s maid, attributed
to her mistress, in one of the delightful Olympic farces. “ To have
her own way in everything is one of the few things about which
Madame is very particular.”
Abolition of anti-Catholic oaths by office-holders, very good speaking
by the two leaders, and a Protestant victory (gained by 3 in a Com-
mittee of 283), by which it is still forbidden to the Lord-Lieutenant
of Ireland to be a Catholic, though his master, the Home Secretary,
may be one. Mr. Whalley was frantic over some rebel oaths which
pledged the Catholic takers to the extremely disagreeable process of
“ wading to the knee in the red gore of Saxon tyrants,” but if the
Committee heard him—at all events no notice was taken of his antics.
Wednesday. The Oxford and Cambridge Test Race was rowed, and
was a dead heat. But umpire Gladstone is dissatisfied, and it will
have to be rowed over again. In other words, the Test abolition which
was to be confined to Oxford, was on the motion of Professor
Fawcett, extended to Cambridge also, by 263 to 166, but Mr Glad-
stone means to modify matters in Committee.
Thursday. We lend Canada money for railway purposes, and Lord
Russell managed to hitch in a bellicose word. We ought certainly
to defend Canada against the United States, if necessary, and the
States ought to feel that in attacking her they attacked the whole
power of England. Mr. Punch had not heard from America anything
which called for this fire.
A speech from Lord Shaftesbury, giving such insight into the
accursed system of Agricultural Gangs as ought to make Pharisees
blush with shame, and Christians with indignation.
Then was resumed the Reform Battle, and the Choosers of the Slain
waved their dusky wings, and shrieked with cruel joy.
It was an awfully stupid night, though. There was an attempt to
postpone the business till after Easter, in the hope of a compromise,
but Mr. Bright asked who was going to stop in town and cook such a
thing ? It was decided to go on. Mr. Darby Griffith once more
thrust himself in the way, but was promptly shoved out of it, and
Clauses 1 and 2 were agreed to.
On clause 3, Mr. Gladstone, in a long speech, moved his first
amendment, and was answered by the Solicitor-General. Sir
William Heathcote, Conservative, went dead against Govern-
ment, and so did Lord Cranborne, late Conservative Minister. Mr.
Henley spoke well, against the amendment, denounced the Small
Tenements Act as a Device of Old Nick to make poor people pay who
couldn’t, and predicted gloomy things. The debate was adjourned,
whereas to-night the House should have risen for Easter.
Friday. But it was not stupid to-night, for we had all sorts of
personalities, a smart debate, a tremendous whip, and a great division.
Firstly, to calm the mind of the legislators, and to put them into a
fitting state to consider and decide upon a great constitutional question,
we had a row, originated by Mr. Osborne, over a document supposed
to have been shown for the purpose of getting some votes for Govern-
ment. It purported to intimate that the Premier and Mr. Disraeli
approved a device of Mr. Hibbert’s, about Compound Householders.
When the Committee had been thoroughly excited, Lord Stanley, in a
manly fashion, repudiated the alleged pledge, and said the Government
desired to be judged only on the merits of the question.
Then we got on Reform.
Mr. Roebuck fought for the Bill, and hit some Opposition men
very hard.
Mr. Beresford Hope opposed it, and gave Mr. Disraeli much
sauce. Mr. Hope talked of the Asian Mystery. But Mr. Disraeli
is a dangerous person to gird at, and in return he complimented Mr.
Hope on his Exhibitions, adding sweetly that their Batavian grace
took away their sting. The Hopes are of Dutch descent.
Nine men followed. “ Lethe is a brave river.”
Mr. Horsman said that but for party, five-sixths of the House,
including the Ministry, would support Mr. Gladstone.
Mr. Hardy defended the Bill, boldly and ably.
Mr. Bright attacked it, and said that three-fourths of the Liberals
were opposed to household suffrage. He complimented Lord Cran-
borne in a most elegant manner.
The Chancellor of the Exchequer took all their weapons in
his target, and made a good fight, occasionally cutting down a deserter,
to encourage the others.
Mr. Gladstone gracefully alleged that there was no animosity
between himself and his able rival, though they had fought sharply,
and would probably do so again. He then defended his amendment.
At half-past one the Division came, and Government was victorious.
Mr. Gladstone was defeated by 310 to 288—majority 22,_ and the
shouting of the Ministerialists woke the swans that were sleeping upon
the river to be ready to see Oxford beat Cambridge six hours later by
a quarter of a length.
Both Houses rose for the holidays, the Commons until the 29th of
April, the Lords till the 2nd of May. “For this relief, much thanks.”
I
!
I