DOI Heft:
March 9, 1867
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16879#0100
March 9, 1867.J PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
RATIOCINATION.
’Spectable Mechanic (“ as usual ” on Saturday afternoon). “ Pen’th ’ Nailsh ! ”
Chemist and Dray gist (indignantly). “Nails, Sir! Get along with you out o’ jiy Shop! I haven’t got any Nails.”
Mechanic. “ Ain’t got ’ny Nails! {Ponders.) ¥ha’ d’ yer Scrash y’r ’ead wi’ then, Gov’n’r ?”
THE ECLIPSE OF THE SUN,
On Wednesday, March 6, 1867.
Late as Members went to bed from debate on Tuesday night,
Some get up on Wednesday morning soon after it is light.
What has roused them from their pillows ? Not business ; they have
none.
They arise betimes to see the Eclipse of the Sun.
There is Derby’s noble Earl, who has left his couch, no doubt,
If he’s not (and may he not be) kept to it by the gout.
There is also John, Earl Russell, as probably, for one
Up early to observe the Eclipse of the Sun.
For there’s scrubbing, and there’s tubbing, and dressing to get
through;
Our ablutions matutinal demand some time to do.
And the man who, Peer or Peasant,, would go with them undone,
1s a Pig not fit to see an Eclipse of the Sun.
With the lark see Gladstone stirring, and Disraeli quite as soon,
To survey the sun’s disk screened by the intervening moon.
The political horizon with dense clouds may be dun :
They but care lest clouds should hide the Eclipse of the Sun.
In the times of old, no science when party leaders knew,
They’d have looked on the Eclipse with the crisis in one view,
And regarded as an omen of office lost and won,
In the battle of Reform, this Eclipse of the Sun.
But that wonder in the heavens now your statesman only reads
To discover the corona, rose-flames, and “ Baily’s beads,”
Looking through a darkened spy-glass, for science, or for fun,
With uninjured eyes to view the Eclipse of the Sun.
SINGULAR CHURCH SERVICES.
Some people have queer notions of the fitness of things. For
example, see this programme : —
“ cartsburn church, celebration soiree.
Praise . . . One Hundredth Psalm.
Chairman’s Address.
Chorus . . “ Glorious is Thy name.”
Address. Rev. Dr. M'Culloch.
Service of Pastry.
Anthem. * * * Address. » * * Anthem. * * *
Service of Confections.
Organ Performance. Scotch Airs.
Address. * * * Scotch Song. * * * Address. * * *
Service of Fruit.
Doiology . . . “ Note to Him who can uphold us."
The irreverent might say that the choice of this doxology was by no
means inappropriate, for alter having stuffed themselves with pastry,
fruit and sugar-plums, the company might find it not, so easy to stand
upright. We wonder, was the “ Scotch song,” “ Willie Brewed a Peck
o’ Maut,” or one even more convivial ? Surely, something in the way
of drink must have been needful to wash down the apples, tarts, and
lollipops. It lias been said that Englishmen do nothing in the world
without making it the plea for having a good dinner ; and Scotchmen,
it would seem, when they celebrate the opening, or restoring, ot a
Church, make the ceremony an excuse for a quantity of eating. Be-
tween the psalms and anthems in this “ celebration soiree,” we cannot
help conceiving that a service of prayer would have been more seemly
than a service of pastry.
PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY.
It is no use placing a roast leg of mutton before a man who.can’t
help it.
RATIOCINATION.
’Spectable Mechanic (“ as usual ” on Saturday afternoon). “ Pen’th ’ Nailsh ! ”
Chemist and Dray gist (indignantly). “Nails, Sir! Get along with you out o’ jiy Shop! I haven’t got any Nails.”
Mechanic. “ Ain’t got ’ny Nails! {Ponders.) ¥ha’ d’ yer Scrash y’r ’ead wi’ then, Gov’n’r ?”
THE ECLIPSE OF THE SUN,
On Wednesday, March 6, 1867.
Late as Members went to bed from debate on Tuesday night,
Some get up on Wednesday morning soon after it is light.
What has roused them from their pillows ? Not business ; they have
none.
They arise betimes to see the Eclipse of the Sun.
There is Derby’s noble Earl, who has left his couch, no doubt,
If he’s not (and may he not be) kept to it by the gout.
There is also John, Earl Russell, as probably, for one
Up early to observe the Eclipse of the Sun.
For there’s scrubbing, and there’s tubbing, and dressing to get
through;
Our ablutions matutinal demand some time to do.
And the man who, Peer or Peasant,, would go with them undone,
1s a Pig not fit to see an Eclipse of the Sun.
With the lark see Gladstone stirring, and Disraeli quite as soon,
To survey the sun’s disk screened by the intervening moon.
The political horizon with dense clouds may be dun :
They but care lest clouds should hide the Eclipse of the Sun.
In the times of old, no science when party leaders knew,
They’d have looked on the Eclipse with the crisis in one view,
And regarded as an omen of office lost and won,
In the battle of Reform, this Eclipse of the Sun.
But that wonder in the heavens now your statesman only reads
To discover the corona, rose-flames, and “ Baily’s beads,”
Looking through a darkened spy-glass, for science, or for fun,
With uninjured eyes to view the Eclipse of the Sun.
SINGULAR CHURCH SERVICES.
Some people have queer notions of the fitness of things. For
example, see this programme : —
“ cartsburn church, celebration soiree.
Praise . . . One Hundredth Psalm.
Chairman’s Address.
Chorus . . “ Glorious is Thy name.”
Address. Rev. Dr. M'Culloch.
Service of Pastry.
Anthem. * * * Address. » * * Anthem. * * *
Service of Confections.
Organ Performance. Scotch Airs.
Address. * * * Scotch Song. * * * Address. * * *
Service of Fruit.
Doiology . . . “ Note to Him who can uphold us."
The irreverent might say that the choice of this doxology was by no
means inappropriate, for alter having stuffed themselves with pastry,
fruit and sugar-plums, the company might find it not, so easy to stand
upright. We wonder, was the “ Scotch song,” “ Willie Brewed a Peck
o’ Maut,” or one even more convivial ? Surely, something in the way
of drink must have been needful to wash down the apples, tarts, and
lollipops. It lias been said that Englishmen do nothing in the world
without making it the plea for having a good dinner ; and Scotchmen,
it would seem, when they celebrate the opening, or restoring, ot a
Church, make the ceremony an excuse for a quantity of eating. Be-
tween the psalms and anthems in this “ celebration soiree,” we cannot
help conceiving that a service of prayer would have been more seemly
than a service of pastry.
PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY.
It is no use placing a roast leg of mutton before a man who.can’t
help it.