DOI issue:
May 11, 1867
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16879#0201
May 11, 1867]
PUNCH, Oil THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
195
THE LANGUAGE OP LEGISLATION,
hilom, in the good old middle
ages, the King of England
used to keep a fool. The
Parliament appears to have
been unprovided with any
such officer. That, however,
is what can by no means be
said of the contemporary
Legislature. Read the fol-
lowing extract from a statute
passed in the present reign,
enacting
“ That where a justice shall
adjudge the defendant to be im-
prisoned, and he shall then be in
prison undergoing imprisonment
for some other offence, it shall be
lawful for the justices to order
that the imprisonment for the
subsequent offence shall com-
mence after the former term has
expired.”
Now, who but a fool, and
a very great fool, could pos-
sibly have composed such be-
wildering nonsense as that?
No wonder that a prisoner,
sentenced under the Act
which it is quoted from, appealed to the Queen’s Bench, and that
the construction of the foregoing jumble puzzled the learned Judges,
with Lord Chief Justice Cockburn at their head. The Act in
question is called “Jervis’s Act,” and when it passed one would think
tnat Jervis must have held the situation above suggested, as existing
in connection with modern Parliaments. But the composition of un-
meaning statutes is no fun, and the Collective Wisdom, to word its
decrees, ought to employ somebody who is not a fool.
THE BOTANY OF THE CHIGNON.
(Exclusive of the Daucus carota.)
The form of the female pigtail, or chignon, is more remarkable than
elegant. Unlike that of its masculine original, it approaches the
globular. The remark which it accordingly suggests is, that the
chignon in shape somewhat resembles the globe. The internal resem-
blance of the chignon to the earth is even greater than that presented
by its exterior. In a list of publications, just out, occurs the subjoined
advertisement, as interesting in a scientific as in a fashionable point of
view:—-
11 The Chignon Fungus.—Its Life, History, and Development, with fifteen iUus-
trations. drawn from living specimens under the microscope, showing the various
stages of its growth. By Dr. Tilbury Fox. See Science Gossip for May.”
Science Gossip is published by Mr. Hardwicke of Piccadilly ; so the
gossip may be safely taken as truly scientific on trust. Not only, then,
is the chignon like this planet as regards figure, but it is a little world
in itself; a world that teems with life. A philosophic foreign naturalist
had already discovered in the chignon minute organisations belonging
to the animal kingdom. Dr. Tilbury Fox has now augmented British
Zoology, by demonstrating the existence of vegetable structures also
in that fashionable ornament of the feminine occiput. The chignon is
proved not only to be the habitation of animalcular forms of being, but
also to abound with fungous growths. In addition to the “ gregarine ”
there is the “chignon fungus.” We naturally associate the idea of
these tiny productions with that of the dainty folk
THE STRIKE OF ARMY-SURGEONS.
Concession of the Employers.
There is now some prospect of the relief of that surgical destitu-
tion which the British Army has been so long groaning under, in con-
sequence of the gross deception, in the matter of a certain Royal
Warrant, practised on its medical officers by authority at Head-
Quarters. The attention of medical gentlemen will have been capti-
vated by the following statement in the British Medical Journal:—
“ Concessions to the Army Medical Service.—We are able to announce on
excellent authority that the recommendations for improving the relative rank, and
otherwise ameliorating the social position of the medical officers of the Army, which
were made by the committee, have been accepted by the War-Office, and will be
embodied in the consolidated and revised book of warrants which will shortly be
issued. The warrant just issued, referring to the pay of medical officers, and
granting the scale advised, together with a further improvement of pay in the in-
spectorial ranks, was published separately, in order that the change might begin
with the financial year at the commencement of April”
When the next first of April comes, let us hope that any Surgeons
who shall have entered the Army on the faith of the warrant just issued,
will not find themselves in the position into which ingenuous simplicity
is apt on that day to betray confiding minds. But a profession capable
of being twice taken in, would be foolish in a degree far below the folly
of mere April fools. Never again, your Royal Highness, never again !
The British Medical Journal expresses hope that the moment of popu-
larity for the medical service of the Army is not far distant. Mistrust,
too well grounded, may, however, postpone it indefinitely. Its arrival
might possibly be accelerated if the authority responsible for the revo-
cation of the deceptive Warrant would come forward with a solemn
and duly attested affidavit declaring that the promises held out in the
one just issued, and in the warrants that remain to be issued, shall be
religiously kept. The concessions at last plighted by the Horse Guards
to the medical profession are all very fine ; but when they have answered
their purpose, it is to be feared that they will be repudiated like “ vows
made in pain, as violent and void.” The determined stand of the
medical profession on its rights and its dignity has had the effect of
making Head-Quarters give way ; but necessity alone has driven them
to this.
and of them that
“ Whose sport
Is to make midnight muslirooms
“ By moonshine do the green sour ringlets make,
Whereof the ewe not bites.”
who, however, in fact are identical with the others; for the “ green
sour ringlets,” as everybody now knows, are circles, in which grow
crops of funguses. It is perhaps allowable to say —
In green sour ringlets grow champignons,
But other funguses in chignons.
The knowledge of this fact cannot but increase the popularity of
those graceful embellishments, replete, as they may be imagined to be,
with the creations of hairy sprites, funguses wrought by fairy fingers.
THE CHARMING CLUB.
Mr. Punch, Dear Sir,
Permit me, on behalf of a numerous and highly-gifted body of
your fairest admirers, to solicit a great favour at your hands. Will you
do us the unspeakable honour of laying the foundation-stone of the
“ Charming Club,” a Club, as you are aware, purely political, aud com-
posed of ladies only.
Any day will suit us for the ceremony, and we only wait your
gracious assent to give Messrs. Hunt and Roskell instructions
for a golden trowel. If you would prefer a conference, a brilliant depu-
tation will wait upon you at the Treasury, in Bride’s Passage—say
between two and four any morning, Wednesdays (of course) excepted,
as on that day, I believe, you give audience only to the corps diplomatique
I have the honour to be, Dear Sir,
Your obedient, humble, and obliged Servant,
Harry Wild Rose,
Lovegrove’s. (Hon. Sec. to the Committee.)
The Masters’ Latin Primer.
We denounce it. Mr. Bunch had not looked at it until yesterday,
when, condescending to open it, he found on the third page a direction
to “ drop rum in the first declension.” It may be right to sweeten
learning, but to habituate boys of tender years to the use of ardent
spirits, is a crime. Cannot a declension be swallowed without having
rum dropped into it ? We denounce the book. The Masters ought to
be ashamed of themselves.
Little Rhymes for Little Rioters.
If in faith of the fist
Beales and Brad laugh persist
To claim rights, yet the test shun
Of rights—legal question ;
Then Brad laugh and Beales
Must be laid by the heels,
Until Beales and Bradlaugh
Learn Mob-law is bad law.
Striking Suggestions.
In consequence of the strike among the journeymen tailors, the
usual regulations as to evening dress will be everywhere dispensed
with.
The attention of the Nobility and Gentry is respectfully directed to
the restorative qualities of the Black and Blue Reviver.
In view of ultimately possible eventualities, the Society of Anciec*'
Britons is contemplating the extended cultivation of woad.
PUNCH, Oil THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
195
THE LANGUAGE OP LEGISLATION,
hilom, in the good old middle
ages, the King of England
used to keep a fool. The
Parliament appears to have
been unprovided with any
such officer. That, however,
is what can by no means be
said of the contemporary
Legislature. Read the fol-
lowing extract from a statute
passed in the present reign,
enacting
“ That where a justice shall
adjudge the defendant to be im-
prisoned, and he shall then be in
prison undergoing imprisonment
for some other offence, it shall be
lawful for the justices to order
that the imprisonment for the
subsequent offence shall com-
mence after the former term has
expired.”
Now, who but a fool, and
a very great fool, could pos-
sibly have composed such be-
wildering nonsense as that?
No wonder that a prisoner,
sentenced under the Act
which it is quoted from, appealed to the Queen’s Bench, and that
the construction of the foregoing jumble puzzled the learned Judges,
with Lord Chief Justice Cockburn at their head. The Act in
question is called “Jervis’s Act,” and when it passed one would think
tnat Jervis must have held the situation above suggested, as existing
in connection with modern Parliaments. But the composition of un-
meaning statutes is no fun, and the Collective Wisdom, to word its
decrees, ought to employ somebody who is not a fool.
THE BOTANY OF THE CHIGNON.
(Exclusive of the Daucus carota.)
The form of the female pigtail, or chignon, is more remarkable than
elegant. Unlike that of its masculine original, it approaches the
globular. The remark which it accordingly suggests is, that the
chignon in shape somewhat resembles the globe. The internal resem-
blance of the chignon to the earth is even greater than that presented
by its exterior. In a list of publications, just out, occurs the subjoined
advertisement, as interesting in a scientific as in a fashionable point of
view:—-
11 The Chignon Fungus.—Its Life, History, and Development, with fifteen iUus-
trations. drawn from living specimens under the microscope, showing the various
stages of its growth. By Dr. Tilbury Fox. See Science Gossip for May.”
Science Gossip is published by Mr. Hardwicke of Piccadilly ; so the
gossip may be safely taken as truly scientific on trust. Not only, then,
is the chignon like this planet as regards figure, but it is a little world
in itself; a world that teems with life. A philosophic foreign naturalist
had already discovered in the chignon minute organisations belonging
to the animal kingdom. Dr. Tilbury Fox has now augmented British
Zoology, by demonstrating the existence of vegetable structures also
in that fashionable ornament of the feminine occiput. The chignon is
proved not only to be the habitation of animalcular forms of being, but
also to abound with fungous growths. In addition to the “ gregarine ”
there is the “chignon fungus.” We naturally associate the idea of
these tiny productions with that of the dainty folk
THE STRIKE OF ARMY-SURGEONS.
Concession of the Employers.
There is now some prospect of the relief of that surgical destitu-
tion which the British Army has been so long groaning under, in con-
sequence of the gross deception, in the matter of a certain Royal
Warrant, practised on its medical officers by authority at Head-
Quarters. The attention of medical gentlemen will have been capti-
vated by the following statement in the British Medical Journal:—
“ Concessions to the Army Medical Service.—We are able to announce on
excellent authority that the recommendations for improving the relative rank, and
otherwise ameliorating the social position of the medical officers of the Army, which
were made by the committee, have been accepted by the War-Office, and will be
embodied in the consolidated and revised book of warrants which will shortly be
issued. The warrant just issued, referring to the pay of medical officers, and
granting the scale advised, together with a further improvement of pay in the in-
spectorial ranks, was published separately, in order that the change might begin
with the financial year at the commencement of April”
When the next first of April comes, let us hope that any Surgeons
who shall have entered the Army on the faith of the warrant just issued,
will not find themselves in the position into which ingenuous simplicity
is apt on that day to betray confiding minds. But a profession capable
of being twice taken in, would be foolish in a degree far below the folly
of mere April fools. Never again, your Royal Highness, never again !
The British Medical Journal expresses hope that the moment of popu-
larity for the medical service of the Army is not far distant. Mistrust,
too well grounded, may, however, postpone it indefinitely. Its arrival
might possibly be accelerated if the authority responsible for the revo-
cation of the deceptive Warrant would come forward with a solemn
and duly attested affidavit declaring that the promises held out in the
one just issued, and in the warrants that remain to be issued, shall be
religiously kept. The concessions at last plighted by the Horse Guards
to the medical profession are all very fine ; but when they have answered
their purpose, it is to be feared that they will be repudiated like “ vows
made in pain, as violent and void.” The determined stand of the
medical profession on its rights and its dignity has had the effect of
making Head-Quarters give way ; but necessity alone has driven them
to this.
and of them that
“ Whose sport
Is to make midnight muslirooms
“ By moonshine do the green sour ringlets make,
Whereof the ewe not bites.”
who, however, in fact are identical with the others; for the “ green
sour ringlets,” as everybody now knows, are circles, in which grow
crops of funguses. It is perhaps allowable to say —
In green sour ringlets grow champignons,
But other funguses in chignons.
The knowledge of this fact cannot but increase the popularity of
those graceful embellishments, replete, as they may be imagined to be,
with the creations of hairy sprites, funguses wrought by fairy fingers.
THE CHARMING CLUB.
Mr. Punch, Dear Sir,
Permit me, on behalf of a numerous and highly-gifted body of
your fairest admirers, to solicit a great favour at your hands. Will you
do us the unspeakable honour of laying the foundation-stone of the
“ Charming Club,” a Club, as you are aware, purely political, aud com-
posed of ladies only.
Any day will suit us for the ceremony, and we only wait your
gracious assent to give Messrs. Hunt and Roskell instructions
for a golden trowel. If you would prefer a conference, a brilliant depu-
tation will wait upon you at the Treasury, in Bride’s Passage—say
between two and four any morning, Wednesdays (of course) excepted,
as on that day, I believe, you give audience only to the corps diplomatique
I have the honour to be, Dear Sir,
Your obedient, humble, and obliged Servant,
Harry Wild Rose,
Lovegrove’s. (Hon. Sec. to the Committee.)
The Masters’ Latin Primer.
We denounce it. Mr. Bunch had not looked at it until yesterday,
when, condescending to open it, he found on the third page a direction
to “ drop rum in the first declension.” It may be right to sweeten
learning, but to habituate boys of tender years to the use of ardent
spirits, is a crime. Cannot a declension be swallowed without having
rum dropped into it ? We denounce the book. The Masters ought to
be ashamed of themselves.
Little Rhymes for Little Rioters.
If in faith of the fist
Beales and Brad laugh persist
To claim rights, yet the test shun
Of rights—legal question ;
Then Brad laugh and Beales
Must be laid by the heels,
Until Beales and Bradlaugh
Learn Mob-law is bad law.
Striking Suggestions.
In consequence of the strike among the journeymen tailors, the
usual regulations as to evening dress will be everywhere dispensed
with.
The attention of the Nobility and Gentry is respectfully directed to
the restorative qualities of the Black and Blue Reviver.
In view of ultimately possible eventualities, the Society of Anciec*'
Britons is contemplating the extended cultivation of woad.