Punch (52.1867)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI,

[June 1, 1867.


THE COMPOUND PUBLICAN’S CHEMISTRY.

N interesting but
illegal branch of in-
dustry was eluci-
dated at Bow Street
on Saturday last
week. A gentleman
named Jousiffe
pleaded guilty to a
summons on the
part of the. Excise,
charging him with
having sold to . a
publican a quantity
of treacle or sac-
charine matter to
be used in the adul-
teration of beer.
According to a
police report, Mr.
Dwelly, who at-
tended for the Ex-
cise authorities,
produced a remark-
able circular, issued
by the defendant
and his brother,
who described
themselves as:—

“ Charles and George Jousiffe, importers of Dantzic spruce, cordial com-
pounders, and makers of liquid refined sugar and spirit-colouring.”

This instructive announcement contained a specification of articles
sold by the Brothers Jousiffe, with explanatory notes for the infor-
mation of their respectable customers. The reporter shrewdly remarks
that—•

“ Several of the articles mentioned in the circular seemed to be designed for the
adulteration of spirits.”

The suspicion thus expressed will not perhaps appear quite ground-
less, from the statement, that—

‘ ‘ One of the items was ‘ London Cream,’ which was stated to be ‘ highly appre-
ciated by all who have tried it, being flavoured with the finest juniper berries and
other ingredients used by distillers. To 100 gallons of gin, 17 or 22 U.P., add four
gallons of London cream. Use no sugar. It will allow of six or seven additional
gallons of liquor, and be superior to any gin made in the ordinary way.’ ”

The word liquor, in the foregoing connection, does by no means
signify any intoxicating fluid; but, on the contrary, a quantity of
“ allaying Thames,” or New Kiver, or any other river, or fountain, or
well, alike suitable for the purpose of “allaying.” Certain gallons of
gin being seventeen or twenty-two U.P., the admixture of a stated
quantity of London cream will enable them to be augmented in quantity
six or seven per cent, while reduced in quality, by the addition of
“ liquor,” to figures very considerably more “U.P.” than seventeen or
twenty-two, without tasting any the weaker for their dilution.

It may concern rogues to know that—

“ In making up gin or cordials the liquor should be boiled and used cold ”

Ah, well, let us hope that there is a considerable fallacy in the “ sad,
very sad,. fact,” stated by Professor Leone Levi, that “in the
United Kingdom as much as £89,000,000 a-year is expended in ardent
spirits, £58,000,000 of which is consumed by the working-classes.” The
working-classes, at least, do not consume nearly so much ardent spirits
as the Professor thinks. Only, to be sure, weak gin and rum are no
doubt rendered intoxicating to the degree of madness by “ artificial
heat,” and “London Cream.” Thanks to the assistance afforded to the
British publican in diluting his spirits, by gentlemen in the line of
Mr. Jousiffe. As this was Mr. Jouslffe’s first conviction for doing
business therein, he was let off with the mitigated fine of £125. Any
gentleman engaged in the same reputable avocation may be induced to
relinquish it for a less hazardous one by the information that the full
penalty of its exercise is £500.

NATIONAL PORTRAIT EXHIBITION.

Mr. Punch,

I wish to draw the attention of the Managers to one or two
serious deficiencies in the Second Collection they are now showing.
They have two portraits of Addison, but not one of Sir Roger de
Coverley ! Goldsmith, and Jessamy Bride, and Little Comedy, are
all to be seen, but not a single member of the Primrose family can I
find either in the Catalogue or on the walls. There is a fine portrait of
Mr. Yorick—a Sterne reality ; but, after the most careful examination,
I have faded to discover any representation of Mrs. Wadman. If
Defoe could not be got, surely Air. Crusoe ought to have had a con-
spicuous place in this assemblage of British Worthies. I could name
other remarkable omissions—the celebrated traveller, Mr. Gulliver, Mr.
Gray (not Thomas, who is there, but Robin), Adams, the Divine, Mrs.
Malaprop, &c.—but I will not trespass further on your valuable space,
having, as I think, quoted instances enough to prove that, great as the
Collection is—one of its distinctions being two hundred and more
portraits by Hogarth, Reynolds, and Gainsborough—it is not a
complete representation of the long and fertile period which has Dutch
William at one end, and Parmer George at the other.

Yours faithfully,

Joshua Gainsborough Reynolds.

Rather hard lines to hang poor Dr. Dodd (No. 821) over again!

RITUALIST AGGRESSION.

The announcement that Mr. Walpole has been placed, as respon-
sible Minister, on the Select Committee nominated to report on the
question of repealing the Ecclesiastical Titles Act, has given lively
satisfaction in Ritualist and Roman Catholic circles. No doubt is
entertained that the right honourable gentleman will prove as com-
petent to maintain the Royal supremacy, as he was to defend the
Royal Parks. There is every reason to believe that as soon as the
Ecclesiastical Titles Act is repealed, and the Pope’s jurisdiction in the
Queen’s dominions is affirmed by Act of Parliament, the Ritualist
party will excommunicate the rest of the parsons, declare themselves
the true Church of England, and map out the country into a number
of new dioceses of their own, under the primacy of the Bishop of
Salisbury.


Here is a recipe which, unexplained, might seem designed for appli-
cation to an honest purpose :—

“ Concentrated essence of pine.—To fifty gallons of rum add two gallons o^
■essence, or according to the quantity of liquor used.”

But interpret it by the annotation on—

“ Concentrated essence of pine, No. 2.—This is the same as No. 1, but contains an
artificial heat, which allows an extra quantity of liquor.”

That is to say, a quantity of “ liquor,” exceeding the measure with
which a knave is enabled to elude detection in watering his rum by
No. 1. Consumers of cheap spirits would do well to note the two
prescriptions ensuing :—

“ Cheap Rum.—To five gallons of proof rum add one gallon of liquor and one
quart of concentrated essence of pine, No. 2.

“ Cheap Gin.—To ten gallons of twenty-two U.P. gin, instead of sugar use two
quarts of the cream and three gallons of liquor.”

From the preceding disclosures it will appear that Mynheer van
Dunk would have been very much out in his reckoning as to the
aqueous and spirituous ingredients of his grog if he had been accus-
tomed to deal with the customers of Mr. Jousiffe. This gentleman,
indeed, in apology for his peculiar line of business, made an assertion
which, if true, would show that at no British public-house could Yan
Dunk now possibly drink spirits and water in the proportion of the
former to the latter which he bargained for :—

“ The defendant said all publicans used similar ingredients, and always would
do so ; and if persons in his trade did not take it round to them, they would buy it
at the grocers.”

Lines on the Lodg-er Franchise.

Enfranchised are Lodgers.

Be quiet, then, Odgers,

And you noisy codgers,

Beales, Bradlaugh, and Bright.
Give up agitation;

Cease intimidation;

To make demonstration,

Roughs no more incite.

Academy Note.

Sir Edwin Landseer’s picture, of The Queen receiving Despatches
attended by her Gillie, the Saturday Review complains is of too black
and mournful a hue. The mention of the Gillie should have reminded
the Reviewer that the picture cannot be all black, as part of it is
entirely given up to Brown.

MOTTO FOR MR. CHAPLIN’S DARK HORSE.

“ Turn, Gentle Hermit of the veil.”

The Use of Sarum.—The Bishop of Salisbury is of opinion, that
the unity of Christendom can be brought about by the use of Roman
cement.