DOI issue:
June 8, 1867
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16879#0237
^une 8, 1867.]
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
231
THE WET DERBY.
Bob Brabazon does not think it such a very bad Day !
THE COMPOUND HOUSEHOLDER.
A Song of St. Stephen's, by a Scald, after Burns.
It was Dizzy and Henley and Hodgkinson
The high, low, and high-dry,
And they have sworn an oath the Com-
pound Householder should die.
Hodgkinson his amendment moved,
“ Agreed, nem. con.," was said ;
And the House has sworn an oath the Com-
pound Householder was dead.
But when the clauses were brought in.
That should have wrought his fall.
The C. H. he got up again.
And sore surprised them all.
Por Childers to his rescue came
Wit h an amendment strong—
And Dizzy deemed what, Childers willed
Gladstone would not think wrong.
Clause one was Hodgkinson’s own child:
By it C. H. was slain.
But three and four’s provisoes brought
C. H. to life again.
The House that this persistent bore
Had hoped was off'the stage,
Seeing him thus resuscitate,
Blew at him in a rage.
Old Henley vowed that he the last
Of C. H. meant to see :
Bass swore C. H.’s bier, to him.
No bitter bier would be.
And Ayrton from behind his back
Belaboured him full sore :
And Hibbert turned him inside out,
And bowled him o’er and o’er.
Bright filled with language bad and black
A long speech to the brim—
Heaved in the Compound Householder—
There let him sink or swim!
CHARITABLE WASTE-PAPER.
A hint has been thrown out in the Pall Mall Gazette that people, who are
plethorised with magazines and newspapers, would do a kind act if they saved them
for our hospitals and workhouses. This is a good idea, and Mr. Punch is pleased
to echo it. Tons of what is called light literature might be rescued from the fire-
grate, or the lumber-room, or butterman, to lighten many a heavy hour spent on
the sick bed of a hospital, or in the prison termed a poor-house.
Many people would be charitable, if it cost no pains or money; and charity like
die above would at once be cheap and easy. Eive minutes would, suffice to make
a parcel once a month, and sixpence would suffice to pay its carriage to a hospital.
Your penny newspapers will serve your cook to light her fires with, and the rest of
your light literature should be kept out of her clutches. Of course, no one
dreams of ever burning Punch; but many keep it, like their other jewels, safely
under lock and key ; and, excepting in shop-windows, poor folk rarely can inspect
it. What a treasure would Punch be in a hospital, or workhouse, or the sick-room
■of a cottage ! What dull and dreary hours would it serve to entertain there, and
with what trifling cost or trouble might it be distributed! Let people who buy
Punch think of this when they have read it, and bestow it on the poor. Then,
regardless of the threepence, they can go and buy another copy for themselves, if
they wish, sensibly, to file it.
An Imaginary Offence.
On the question about hanging the condemned Eenian traitors, the Times very
justly says:—
“ There is no disguising the fact, that a great change has come over the moral convictions of
mankind since disloyalty was denounced by divines and jurists as the worst type of human
wickedness.”
Neate set him up to knock him down;
Each quondam friend turned foe ;
Erom Opposition to Treasury Bench
They tossed him to and fro.
They voted him the biggest bore
That ever yet was known :
But Henley used him worst than all,
He called him “ Old Nick’s Own.”
They ripped off what poor rags of good
Had on his back been found:
And the more that they pitched into him,
Their joy did more abound.
Time was this poor C. H. was deemed
A blessing not a bane :
Was Hardy’s barrier, Dizzy’s sieve
The Borough scum to strain :
But now he is a child of woe.
An outcast waif and stray
When Hodgkinson said to him “ Go,”
Not one voice bade him stay.
Dundreary spoke his doom—“ a thing
No fellow can understand.”
So exit Compound Householder,
With cuffs from either hand.
Yes. People used to hold with the declaration that rebellion is as the sin of
witchcraft. So they do still; only their belief as to witchcraft is, that there is no
such sin.
GROSS NEGLECT.
The education of the children of Teetotal parents must necessarily be imperfect,
for at the very outset, in learning the alphabet, they are not allowed to use the
liquids.
Supper for a Snake.
The Managers of the Zoological Gardens are accused of
exhibiting a spectacle of cruelty in letting the Python
swallow rabbits alive. They might feed the reptile in public
without offence if they were to give it a Welsh rabbit.
The Ottoman Empire.—Prussia.
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
231
THE WET DERBY.
Bob Brabazon does not think it such a very bad Day !
THE COMPOUND HOUSEHOLDER.
A Song of St. Stephen's, by a Scald, after Burns.
It was Dizzy and Henley and Hodgkinson
The high, low, and high-dry,
And they have sworn an oath the Com-
pound Householder should die.
Hodgkinson his amendment moved,
“ Agreed, nem. con.," was said ;
And the House has sworn an oath the Com-
pound Householder was dead.
But when the clauses were brought in.
That should have wrought his fall.
The C. H. he got up again.
And sore surprised them all.
Por Childers to his rescue came
Wit h an amendment strong—
And Dizzy deemed what, Childers willed
Gladstone would not think wrong.
Clause one was Hodgkinson’s own child:
By it C. H. was slain.
But three and four’s provisoes brought
C. H. to life again.
The House that this persistent bore
Had hoped was off'the stage,
Seeing him thus resuscitate,
Blew at him in a rage.
Old Henley vowed that he the last
Of C. H. meant to see :
Bass swore C. H.’s bier, to him.
No bitter bier would be.
And Ayrton from behind his back
Belaboured him full sore :
And Hibbert turned him inside out,
And bowled him o’er and o’er.
Bright filled with language bad and black
A long speech to the brim—
Heaved in the Compound Householder—
There let him sink or swim!
CHARITABLE WASTE-PAPER.
A hint has been thrown out in the Pall Mall Gazette that people, who are
plethorised with magazines and newspapers, would do a kind act if they saved them
for our hospitals and workhouses. This is a good idea, and Mr. Punch is pleased
to echo it. Tons of what is called light literature might be rescued from the fire-
grate, or the lumber-room, or butterman, to lighten many a heavy hour spent on
the sick bed of a hospital, or in the prison termed a poor-house.
Many people would be charitable, if it cost no pains or money; and charity like
die above would at once be cheap and easy. Eive minutes would, suffice to make
a parcel once a month, and sixpence would suffice to pay its carriage to a hospital.
Your penny newspapers will serve your cook to light her fires with, and the rest of
your light literature should be kept out of her clutches. Of course, no one
dreams of ever burning Punch; but many keep it, like their other jewels, safely
under lock and key ; and, excepting in shop-windows, poor folk rarely can inspect
it. What a treasure would Punch be in a hospital, or workhouse, or the sick-room
■of a cottage ! What dull and dreary hours would it serve to entertain there, and
with what trifling cost or trouble might it be distributed! Let people who buy
Punch think of this when they have read it, and bestow it on the poor. Then,
regardless of the threepence, they can go and buy another copy for themselves, if
they wish, sensibly, to file it.
An Imaginary Offence.
On the question about hanging the condemned Eenian traitors, the Times very
justly says:—
“ There is no disguising the fact, that a great change has come over the moral convictions of
mankind since disloyalty was denounced by divines and jurists as the worst type of human
wickedness.”
Neate set him up to knock him down;
Each quondam friend turned foe ;
Erom Opposition to Treasury Bench
They tossed him to and fro.
They voted him the biggest bore
That ever yet was known :
But Henley used him worst than all,
He called him “ Old Nick’s Own.”
They ripped off what poor rags of good
Had on his back been found:
And the more that they pitched into him,
Their joy did more abound.
Time was this poor C. H. was deemed
A blessing not a bane :
Was Hardy’s barrier, Dizzy’s sieve
The Borough scum to strain :
But now he is a child of woe.
An outcast waif and stray
When Hodgkinson said to him “ Go,”
Not one voice bade him stay.
Dundreary spoke his doom—“ a thing
No fellow can understand.”
So exit Compound Householder,
With cuffs from either hand.
Yes. People used to hold with the declaration that rebellion is as the sin of
witchcraft. So they do still; only their belief as to witchcraft is, that there is no
such sin.
GROSS NEGLECT.
The education of the children of Teetotal parents must necessarily be imperfect,
for at the very outset, in learning the alphabet, they are not allowed to use the
liquids.
Supper for a Snake.
The Managers of the Zoological Gardens are accused of
exhibiting a spectacle of cruelty in letting the Python
swallow rabbits alive. They might feed the reptile in public
without offence if they were to give it a Welsh rabbit.
The Ottoman Empire.—Prussia.