Punch (58.1870)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 165

THE FEW.

0 Mr. Punch,—Sir, please

QUE AESTHETIC MINISTER.

m

It must, be with agreeable surprise, my dear Mr. Punch, t.hat you
I should be much obliged j will peruse the following observations on t he subject, of music.,
to you if you would speak! made to a deputation by a member of Her Majesty's Government,
to Bob Lowe, and get him | The deputation came from the Regent's, Victoria, and Battersea Parks'
to withdraw that gun- Sunday Bands' Committee to complain of uot being permitted to play
licence, which will prevent I dance-music in the Royal Parks. The Minister told them they were
me, and most other boys. ! allowed to play music in the Parks under certain conditions, and—
from enjoying the sport 0 , »'One of those conditions was that they were not to perform a description of
red-wing ana heiatare snoot- ^ musIc which wag disagreeable to the ordinary visitors to the park, and he was
mg at Christmas. , informed that dance-music was. Moreover there was plenty of lively music

1 and. some more ot us • -which was not of that description. Their object should be to elevate and not
fellows read about, it m degrade the national taste. There was no objection to their performing the
t he Times, and it quite , national melodies with any variations they pleased, but it certainly was never
bowled us over, but we ; the intention of the composers to degrade them into dance-music in the shape
couldn't help laughing to ' of quadrilles, waltzes, or polkas."

see how readily the Mem-1 The spokesmail 0f tue deputation, Mr. R. M. Morrell, had said,
hers of Parliament voted Qn behalf of the Sunday League, that :—
for it, because the gun-

licence is to be put on in-' " They considered it above all things necessary that they should perform
stead of the game-licence ' Hvel3r an(l not heavy, dull music, and were at a loss to know what objection
which will be two pounds ' there could be to the performance of quadrilles founded on the national airs."

Q /) 'X^sfH <^-^J^^\i^\^K \ a-year in the pocket of every j He meant, apparently, to say that, inasmuch as the national airs
' ^^S<S^:^^^ one °^ tDOse Honourable , were " heavy " and " dull," it was thought necessary by the Sunday

Gentlemen who shoots. Of; League, for the public recreation, that they should be rendered
course the shooters are in | " lively " by being turned into dance-music. Concerning this method
a great majority of the House of Commons. How jolly for them 1 Gf dealing with music of the grand and solemn kind, which is what
out on the moors in August, and the stubble, and turnips, and unspiritual and piggish-minded persons call " dull" aud " heavy," the
cover in September and October ! No wonder they passed the gun- j Minister, in continuation, informed them that,: —

licence in such a hurry. " The custom was commenced by M. Julliex, who, he considered, did a

But 1 dare say Mr. Lowe won t care about offending us boys so t deal of harm to the national mu8ic and great] vitiated the publiC
long as he pleases the country gentlemen. So it, s no use your telling taste/>

him to consider us, but what you might say which he very likely would i ,, ,

attend to is this, that his gun-licence won't make up for his game-! Being asked by a Mr. Palmer, a gentleman whose ears are mani-
licence. It will only have the effect of taking away chaps' guns., festly rather long than musical, to dehne dance-music, the Minister
There's myself and my three brothers, we go shooting in the holidays, replied :—

that is we used to, but shan't be able any more if we've got to pay a it Dance-music was perfectly well known to musicians, and they must have
pound a-piece for gun-licences. Of course the Governor won't be able i one to conduct their band. They certainly would not be allowed to select all
to stand it, as being a professional man without much tin, he never i the dances out of operatic selections, and perform them under the title ot
could afford a game certificate. So, please Sir, just you point out to j operatic music. In dance-music he included the whole category of polkas,
old Bob that his gun-licence will only make a hole in the taxes for the ; waltzes, quadrilles, and all sorts of hurdy-gurdy music."
good of nobody but landlords and squires, and will be a precious great j Aq(1 now> ^ who is this Member of the Government who has so
bore to all schoolboys, and a good many grown-up people. 1 remain, , much of music m his SQul as to be able fo make remarks about it ia
Mr. Punch, your affectionate reader, Smith, Sen. the high spirit which pervades those I have laid before you ? My dear

Proprietary College, April 12, 1870. Mr. Punch, you will be no less delighted than surprised when I tell

, I you that it is no other than Mr. Ayrton.
P.S. How is any fellow but a bloated aristocrat to learn to be a good | Surely, Sir, we may now suppose that, when the Chief Commis-
shot? They may talk of education, but they won't teach the young SI0NER op "Works said that he was not an edile and not a gardener,

idea how to shoot.

MR CALCRAPT'S COMPLAINT.

i'me blode if i can old my Tung,
too true the docter's Tail his found,

so that air beger can't be Ung,
hand nix. his mine for good Ten pound.

the sorbones as i ear should say
the Jobb ad Best be left Aloan,

cause wy a Webb is in the way
atween the Jor and Coller bone.

bilk the pore Angman of is fee

will yer, yu blessed Beats ? mean, mean,
this cooden't ave occurr'd to me

in france now. weave ler gilloleen.

AN APOLOGY.
This appears in the Daily Telegraph:—

TO BUTCHERS.—WANTED, to PLACE a YOUTH, aged 19, with
a butcher, where he would have plenty of killing.—Address, &c.

This young gentleman is a little late. The First Napoleon, Theo-
dore of Abyssinia, and now Lopez of Paraguay, are unfortunately
precluded from accepting pupils in their art. Perhaps there may be a
Penian opening. Ha ! ha ! He is very likely an honest young fellow,
who has an honourable, hard-working life in Australia in his eye ; and
if so, we apologise for putting him into the same paragraph with those
we have named.

very likely he was only joking, and might in the same humour, and would
perhaps have said, if he had likewise had occasion to say, that he was
not a composer, and couldn't play the fiddle. After what Mr. Ayrton
has said about dance-music as contradistinguished from music proper,
1 must, however, for my part, cSuclude that he is not merely an
edile, but an edile comparable to Amphion. I shall not wonder at all
if the Chief Commissioner of Wobks should produce a work which,
under the denomination of an "Op.," will one night be performed by
Herr Joachim and his associates at the Monday Pops, or a symphony
that may be played at the Philharmonic after one of Beethoven's.
Believe me, my dear Mr. Punch, yours truly delighted in making a mis-
construed man of taste and refinement the Amende Honorable

P.S. Perish the suggestion that he was coached for the nonce.

A Slap in the Face for Liberty.

" M. Ollivier's Government, in losing M. Buffet, loses its great hold on
the Constitutional party in the Chambers and out-of-doors." — Parisian Cor-
respondents.

Though popular will back Imperial still,
When an Empire it makes, or upsets one,

If the Government loses a Buffet, the deuce is
That the cause of the Government gets one.

The Musical Times."—A Clock that Chimes.

Looking Gift Horses in the Mouth.

General Prim has presented Napoleon wiih a gift of twenty
thousand cigars with gilt ends. _ The present would seem to be sym-
bolical of something that ends in smoke and with gold for its end.
Prim's friendship, or Napoleon's? Spanish professions, or Prench
pokey ? Napoleon reciprocates the gift with a pair of China vases.
British bondholders will be apt to say that these must be types of
Spanish promises to pay—they are so easily broken.