Punch (58.1870)

January 22, 1870.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

21

THE EALL OE HAUSMANN.

{Sung to the Tower Hamlets.)

No Edile am I, and I'm glad I am none ;

What Hausmann has got, see, by having been one.

No longer the Prefect is he of the Seine.

His post had I held, they'd have let me remain.

He would be an Edile ; he knew about Art,
A thing I don't care for a fig, for my part;
About Architecture and Sculpture he knew,
Perhaps, 1 suppose, about Gardening too.

In Paris improvements he made, so immense
They cost the Parisians enormous expense,
Whereby he got into such general disgrace,
That he could no longer be kept in his place.

An Edile I'm not, and I never will be ;
No public improvements expect, then, from me ;
Your statues, and pictures, and palaces fine,
And all suchlike matters are out of my line.

And, if I exert any gardening powers,

I 'II turf you the beds where I 've grubbed up the flowers

1 '11 lop and I '11 prune whatsoever asks pay,

That's ail I can do in the gardener's way.

T '11 in for the lowest of Estimates go
In the Budget about to be framed by Bob Lowe ;
Then " Ayrton for ever ! " will ratepayers cry.
An Edile was Hausmann, and so am not I.

Hard Times.

Retrenchment is the order of the day. Many families
at the West End are practising the most rigid economy.
One lady has decided on patting down her canary birds ;
and a gentleman well known in the circles of fashion will
reduce his weekly allowance of a penny to the crossing-
sweeper in the Square to a halfpenny.

" EUREKA!"

it. nr.

Tr you are present at the wedding breakfast of a Naval
Mos'ieu (rapturously, on tasting a Haggis for the first time). " A ha ! Eni'IN friend, take the opportunity of congratulating him, in the

tjn Artiste ! " course of your neat speech, on the Sailor's Knot being tied.

THE AEEAIR-PETER.

" A Sacred Mission," according to M. de Rochefort, in the
French Chamber, was the business on which M. Victor Noir, alias
Salomon, visited Prince Peter Bonaparte, the result being homi-
cide, if not murder.

Let us overhaul this story, and put it into English, not Erench. We
are a law-abiding sort, and don't know much about Sacred. Missions.

Corsican journal,-La Revanche, assails Emperor Napoleon and his
family with brutal scurrility.

Cousin Peter Napoleon (son of Lucien) makes furious reprisals
in Corsican journal, HAvenir.

Paris journal, Marsellaise (De Rochefort's), in ruffianly manner
attacks Prince Peter.

Prince Peter writes to De Rochefort, inviting him to kill or be
killed.

De PlOCHefort has been ordered by his constituents not to fight.

Paschal-Greusset, somehow connected with Corsican La Re-
vanche, and De Rociiefokt's underling, sends two men to Prince
Peter, .inviting him to kill or be killed. The two are M. Victor
Noir Salomon, and M. Ulric Eonvielle, ex-editor of a Dieppe
paper. This is the Sacred Mission. The two call ou Pkince Peter
—Paschal-Greusset and a companion waiting outside.

Eonvielle, one of the Sacred Missionaries, has a sword-cane and a
loaded revolver.

Prince Peter has a loaded revolver in his pocket.

There is a stormy interview. Prince Peter will fight De Roche-
fort, but not his "workmen." Has something pleasant to say about
" carrion-mongers."

Somebody strikes somebody. Only two men are alive who know the
truth, and each says that the other lies.

The Prince fires his pistol, and kills Victor Noir.

Eonvielle tries to fire at the Prince, but does not seem to know
how. The Prince fires at him, perhaps twice, and Eonvielle goes
away.

Prince Peter goes to the Conciergerie, and surrenders himself, in
anticipation of the course of the Emperor and the new Minister of
Justice, who, independently, order his arrest. He asks for a common
jury, but, as a member of the Emperor's family, has to be tried by the
High Court of Justice.

De Rochefort rages in the Chamber, talks of the Borgias, of
Sacred Missions, and impugns the character of the High Court.
He is sternly rebuked by M. Ollivier. His journal for previous
sedition is seized, and he is to he prosecuted.

His journal, the day after the killing of Noir, is devoted solely to
brutal abuse of the Napoleons.

M. Noir is buried, a great mob attending. De Rochefort alter-
nately rages and faints, and finally, trying to head a procession, is
informed by an officer that, if he persists, he will be the first man cut
down. He goes home.

Mob, but not a large one, in Paris. Tradesmen come out with
sticks, and threaten rioters. They go home, having stabbed a policeman.

Such is the story of the Sacred Mission, up to Mr. Punch's present
date of writing. It suggests Apes and Dead Sea Apples, insolence,
blood-thirstiness, and general brutality. But let us wait the sequel of
the Affair-Peter.

An Article not Headed.

"Paris, Jan. 7.—Yesterday Count Daru, the new Minister of Foreign
Affairs, received the heads of the Foreign Legations."

We are very grieved to hear it, and sincerely sympathise with the
bereaved embassies. A sad beginning this of the new Minister's
official career, and one not calculated to preserve friendly relations
with Foreign countries. How can Count Daru declare, as is asserted,
that Erance will " continue to abstain from interfering in the domestic
affairs of other countries," when he thus materially interferes with
the personal comfort of their recognised Representatives r1 Diplomatists
(occasionally even our own) have before now lost their heads, but then
it was their own doing, and not the act of those to whom they were
accredited.