Punch (58.1870)

Jone 11, 1870.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

231

PIINrM'C nPDRV DDr»DUC^v and solemn article, wherein he humbly and timidly

PROPHECY. describes the awful doings in the High Court of Par-

liament, he said,—

"And now, as regards Macgregor, it is certain
that--''

The exigencies of publication required that he
should here break off, but he continued, though un-
reported,—

this vaunted horse will not only not win, but
will not even be placed."

Well, did he win ? Was he placed ? Or was this
the telegram p—

'Kingcraft ...... 1

Palmerston . . . . . . 2

Muster . . . . . ,3

But was this all? Punch not only named the
Winner, in his magnificent and coherent Prophecy,
but, — look at his picture last week,—his grand
Cartoon. Look, we say, with both your eyes, and
say whether the Artist did not

Spot the Winner!
MUSIC.

As an answer to all Correspondents, we beg
to inform them that Mr. Arthur S. Sullivan
is lecturing at the South Kensington Museum.
The Lectures are " On Music," and, not ex-
tempore, but from his own notes. Those Ladies
and Gentlemen who have taken tickets in the
hopes of hearing the talented composer sing his
entire Oratorio, The Prodigal Cox and Box, right
through from beginning to end, with imitations
of drum and trumpet passages, have expected
As usual, the Great Creature was more extraordinarily right than ever; and, if you think this too much, and ought not to complain of disap-
sentence objectionable, the amount of care he feels is infinitesimal. But wasn't he? Every other pointment. We are authorised to state that as
Prophet, from the highly-educated gentlemen who describe a race daintily (and some of them do the Lectures have no avowed political object,
it very graphically indeed, besides quoting Latin), down to the touts and cads who send tips, therefore, the gentleman who took away some-
declared not only that Macgregor (behold his tartaned likeness)would win, but that nothing else body's umbrella "by mistake" is requested to
had any chance. Did Mr. Punch lend himself to that fatal delusion ? Not he. Even in the grave return it as soon as possible.

BLACKREATH AND THE BOARD OF WORKS.

Certain Witches in Macbeth, as performed with Witches additional
to the Weird Sisters, sing, finely although in words other than those of
the divine Williams, to music traditionally called Matthew Locke's ;
brave music no matter whose :—

" We '11 have a dance upon the heath."

On which announcement one speaking as a Clown of that Williams'
creation might ask, " Marry, how shall ye, an your heath be enclosed ? "
Now the possibility of dancing on the heath called Blaekheath appears
to be in danger, irom the fact that a large meeting was held there the
other evening with a view to take measures against its threatened
enclosure. The occasion of this concourse was one which might almost
have excused such a gathering as that once convened on the same site
—for Hyde Park was not then practicable—by Jack Cade. But the
President of this Assembly was Dr. W. C. Bennett, who stated
that :—

"By the Bill now sought to be obtained by the Metropolitan Board of
Works he found that it was proposed to invest that Board with the power of I
tnclosing any portion of the heath they chose, and also that power would be
given to prevent the assembling of persons for what was termed ' brawling
and shouting.' "

As regards these powers which the Board of Works is seeking to
obtain from the Legislature, let us hope we shall find that :—

" The House of Commons granted half their prayer ;
The other half the winds dispersed in air."

To prevent the assemblage of persons for what is termed, doubtless
in mild language, brawling and shouting, is a power which by all means
let the Board of Works obtain, if they can enforce it, and will. But
the power of enclosing any portion of the heath they choose is what
may be called altogether another pair of shoes. May their solicitation
for this power to spoil a common be referred by the Commons' House
to a Select Committee consisting of iEolus and his aerial subjects ; and
may the wild winds, having scattered it, continue to sweep over Black-
heath as wild, or at least preserved, as Dr. Bennett said, " in its
present natural open wildness."

A BEAUTIFUL PARLIAMENT.

When lovely women are entrusted with the franchise, it may fairly
be presumed that, in their choosing of a Member to vote for them in
Parliament, the Eyes will often have it. The man of handsome face
will pretty surely gain their countenance. It will matter very little if
a candidate have brains, provided only he has beauty.

Now, as women far outnumber men, their votes will be decisive in
deciding an election, in the good time coming, that is, ot universal
female suffrage. Therefore, candidates will chiefly aim to captivate the
ladies, and will put on their best looks on the eve of an election.
Indeed, as looks, not words, may be expected to have influence, we
may live to see the day when, instead of putting forth an elaborate
address, stating with distinctness his political opinions, a would-be
, Member will content himself with issuing his photograph. This will
I say more in his favour than any other eloquence, especially if he be
J gifted with a speaking countenance.

Ugly men, of course, will shrink from competition ; and the battle at
the poll will go with the best looking. The Ladies' Man will gain the
day at each election; and what a Book of Beauty will Hansard not
become when every speech therein recorded is adorned, for female
reference, with the Member's carte de visite ! Plain speakers will be
quite unknown in the assemblage. Every M.P. will be either a Nar-
cissus or Adonis. "Handsome is," not "handsome does," will be their
only qualification. The best-looking man of all will be perpetually
the Premier : and, in short, the House of Commons will have to change
its title to the House of the Uncommons.

Another of our Institutions in Peril.

Is something dreadful going to happen to our Footmen ? Does
Reform threaten even them? What is in danger? Their meals or
their plush, or their perquisites? Some terrible calamity must be
hanging over their powdered heads, for a deputation from " The Livery
Committee" have had an interview with Mr. Goschen !

" nulli secunous."

The dinner of the Coldstreams reminds us of their admirable anti
duelling proclamation. " Nobody's Second."