Punch (58.1870)

190

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[Mat 14, 1870.

UNBLUSHING INNOCENCE

The majority of British girls who
have happened to notice it, will
have been more puzzled than
alarmed by the subjoined denun-
ciation, which occurs among the
batch of " Canons " just fired off
by the (Ecumenical Council : —

" If any one blush not to affirm
that there is nothing besides matter,
let him be anathema."

Him," they have learned now-

Mr. Winterbotham's non-conformist friends. Further, he ridiculed
the statements that, conversions to Catholicism were frequent, in Eng-
land, and asked how many of the thinking sort—practical men-—went,
over to Rome, and whether the converts were not chiefly " women,
parsons, and peers ? " Mr. B. Davenpokt was for mutual concession—
a sensible suggestion. Mr. Gladstone regretted the vote the House
had come to on the subject, flunking that the balance of inconvenience
was against the vote. But Government, though not responsible for
the result of the discussion, would interfere in a conciliatory spirit.
He was for confining the investigation to the state of the law respecting
convents, and the terms on which they hold property.

Mr. N ewdegate did not like this, of course ; and refused to recede
from a decision which had, he said, been approved by England and
Scotland. Mr. Disraeli did not approve of discharging the order
- mm, uiey nave icamcunow- that bad beRn made> fiut Qa dWk[on ft was discharged, point blank,
a-days enough ot language to j by m tol60. and then ou Mr Gladstone's motion, (and despite
know, means inai rerson in- j SQme Cath()lic resistance), a Committee was appointed bv 348 to 57 (a
discrimmately. Siquis{homo)non j , Hoase) for the ■ ^ suggested bv tbe pREMIBE.J So botQ sides
erubwnt, &c, let that homo j c|alm ^ victory> and tuat is aiways a desirable state of things. There
' x TV 7 II ? «?v? ' is nothing in the investigation proposed that should annoy sensible

(j noted, they well understand that | CathoUcs&. Hlld as they have defeated the plan, if it ever existed, for
i hey, equally with the other j draggiag re]Uctant ladies before a Parliamentary Committee, it, will be
hominesare tola to be anathema gra^lufitl the witnesses who may be examined, to be as frank as
ILIt^^;™ ™ S? ! becomes Englishmen, when asked plain questions.

There is to be no Licensing Bill this year, M.M. the Publicans;
but all new Licences are to be subject to anything Parliament may
enact, mind that. The reprieve is due to the garrulity of Honourable

ihere is nothing besides matter.
Being quite sure they have no
idea of affirming anything of the
sort, of course they feel that, they flfa^l^g1*
needn't mind the malediction; but ' . .

what probably they cannot make Tuesday. The British Naval Squadron has been ordered not to go to
out is what there can be to blush at in the condemned saying, and, if Greece, as it is not fitting that in existing circumstances our officers
there is what would once have been thought something, how anybodv, I should receive Greek hospitalities. Mr. Otway, for Government,

in these days, can be supposed, even by the Pope and the Council,
capable of blushing at anything

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

May 2, Monday. Amusing! The North Dublin Union, (whatever
that may be) petitioned the Lords to dissolve another Union, that
between England and Ireland. The N. D. U. also expressed its regret

considered it premature to ask what the intentions of the A.dministra-
tion are, in regard to the recent tragedy. The Greek Government will
it is thought, provide for the family of Mr. Lloyd, who "had nothing
in the world but his wife and children." He had more—a country
whose representatives will take care that his fate shall not be forgotten.

We had a Protection v. Free Trade Debate. " Talk to me of
Adam," said the Erench lady, who was reminded of something that
had happened twenty years before. Enough to say that a motion for
inquiry into the French Treaty was rejected by 138 to 50.

Wednesday saw the Triumph of Woman. Led by Mr. Jacob Bright,

while dissenting from their prayer, regarded it as a straw showing how
the wind blew. In old days we should have said that the straw had
been taken from the head of one of the petitioners, but we no longer
80 treat a certain description of unfortunates that, they lie as Mrs.
Margery Daw did. liepeal the Union! Restore the Heptarchy.
We have some idea that this has been said before, but the moral is the
same, which has also been said before.

A third kind of Union, the matrimonial, seems to be attended with
some technical difficulties in Ireland, which is a pity, as marriage is a
good deal encouraged by the fair daughters of Erin (the thought of
whose sweet fresh faces often stays Mr. Punch's hand when he thinks
of bringing down his shillelagh upon the sconces of sundry Paddies)
and the law is to be improved. There is no improving an Irish girl's
beauty, and Mr. Punch rejoices to know that she is generally too wise
to make the attempt.

Government intends to repeal the Ecclesiastical Titles Act. Mr.
Punch has some slight notion that Mr. Newdegate and Mr.
Whalley will have something to say to Government on this subject.
An alteration of the law has, however, become necessary in the Protes-
tant interest.

evil courses are to be stopped.

More Irish Land Bill debating. "Everything hath an end, and
that which we call a pudding hath two—your worships will forgive me
for being facetious," quo' the Mayor of Woodstock.
Eleven being then marked on the dial, the House proceeded, by

appointment, to further consideration of Mr. Newdegate's proposal \ Women did want it, though they did not pull down Park railings

in regard to Catholic Convents. Strangers crowded to listen, for warm
work was expected. The honourable Protestant expounded (per in-
vitation of Mr. Gladstone) his views, at very considerable length ; in
fact, too long for Mr. Bernae Osborne's patience. Mr. Newdegat-e
managed, though with an intricacy and wealth of words worthy of one
of the Jesuits whom he detests (not that he was trying to be cuttle-
iishy, but the faculty of explanation is not universal), to convey the fact
that he wanted a good deal more than mere inquiry into the property of
the monastic folks. Mr. Wlnterbotham, eminent Dissenter, opposed
the plan, as calculated to excite uncharitable feelings; and Mr. Punch
commends a boldness which may not command the admiration of all

Sir George Jenklnson thought women laboured under a grievance.
It was only those who had property that were to be enfranchised, and
women managed property much better than men.

Mr. Muntz could not see why a lady should be deprived of that
which was accorded to her gardener and her groom.

Sir H. Croft did not like women to intrude themselves on public
notice. He quoted Mr. Punch, who once playfully observed that, the
females who wanted woman's rights wanted woman's charms—but
Mr. Punch did not mean anything by what he said, and is certain that
there will be myriads of pretty eled.resses.
Mr. Home Secretary Bruce said that this was a question which

that Her Majesty has not a Palace m the Green Isle, and does not: her friends advanced, and demanded that, the County and Borough
occasionally reside in such edifice. Lord Talbot de Malahide j franchise be extended to females. He spoke out for his clients, admitted
vouched for the^ respectability of these Union Anti-Unionists, and j tiQat tu_ey were religious, which he seemed rather to regret (attributing

the weakness "to the mode in which they were brought up," and in
which Mr. Punch hopes that they ever will be brought up, for a truly
irreligious woman, were she not an impossibility, would be a monster),
but urged that they were not politically ignorant. Moreover, Woman
votes in parish matters.

Colonel Sykes could not see that it mattered whether a voter wore
petticoats, or (the gallant Colonel named the other article), and reminded
the House that women used to vote for East India Directors, who
governed two hundred millions of people.

Mr. Scourfield thought a woman did not desire a vote, and would
consider it a Damnosa Hcereditas. As all ladies read Latin now. we do
not translate, but there is a Scotch story about a tipsy barrister inter-
preting the words into an allusion to the something red nose of the
judge. You must be tipsy yourself to see the point of this piece
of wut.

Mr. Fowler said that Woman's place was home, and her business
the education of her children. She was also to adorn her sphere. If
"sphere" have the meaning of "orb," and "orb" have the meaning
of " head " (see Hamlet), she usually does, to the best of her ability—
and, by the way, we are glad to see bonnets coming back.

Mr. Thomas Hughes intimated that he should introduce a Bill for j Sir Charles Dilke explained that this Bill applied only to a woman
putting down Scotch Betting Houses. Most persons will be surprised ; who was the real head of the house. A woman might be a Queen, and
io hear that the canny and careful youths of Scotland risk their , a good one, yet she was not to have a vote !

bawbees in wagers, and all persons will be rejoiced to hear that such j Mr. Beresford Hope was evidently afraid of seeing women come

into Parliament. Also, he thought that a lady candidate could bribe,
with her tears, in a most effectual manner.

Dr. Lyon Playfair, as a philosopher, and therefore knowing what
women are made of, supported the Bill. There are, he said, 487,000
widows, and 1,100,000 spinsters, who ought to have the franchise.