Punch (58.1870)

196

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[Mat 14, 1870.

A HOPELESS CASE.

Lady (who has been studying every possible description of hat and bonnet for the last half-hour').
" Yes, they are all very Pretty. And now, can you Help me to Remember what I
Intended to Have at First ?"

SWIMMING AT SYDENHAM.

The Crystal Palace, in addition to its
thousand and one other entertainments (for
they are really now as numerous as those of
the Arabian Nights) will offer shortly, it is
stated, a thousaud and second, in the shape
of baths where we may entertain ourselves
by swimming, or by seeing others swim. In
these speculative days it is not always easy to
keep one's head above water, and practice in
that element will probably enable one to do
so to perfection. By all who are conservatives
of cleanliness and health no doubt the Crystal
baths will be most liberally patronised; and
they who have a radical abhorrence of cold
water may have as much warm as they
please, if they merely ask and pay for it.
Aquatic Derbies will be swum, and we are
promised " exhibitions of ornamental swim-
ming," which to help the treasury will pro-
bably be useful. We expect that the Crystal
Palace Companions of the Bath will speedily
subscribe tbe floating capital required, and
there is little ground for doubting, now the
scheme is well afloat, that their enterprise
and they alike will go on swimmingly.

A Thought for a Toper.

A man may properly be said to have been
drinking like a fish, when he finds that he
has taken enough to make his head swim.

a DOCTsTJUL errand.

" Qui face it per alium face it per se," as
the debtor said who sent his friend to face
the bailiff.

(Sibt hxm n Statxc.

o

" Asking for bread, and giving a stone," is the antipodes of true
charity ; and yet there are cases, when a stone—being asked, because
bread and stone are both wanted, and the buying the bread leaves
nothing to buy a stone with—should be given, with the hope that it
will bring a blessing with it, and lift off a reproach. Such a case is
that which Mr. Punch is here glad to make known to his readers.

George Cattermole, living and working, late and early, could pay
the day's need by the day's work, but could do no more. He could
not put by for his own rainy day, or make a provision for those whom
his labour supported so long as his hand maintained its cunning.
George Cattermole, dying, did not leave behind him enough to pro-
vide him with a tombstone.

George Cattermole did too memorable a work in Art to be left
without a record to mark where he sleeps, now that his life's work is
done.

There is no such record over his grave at Norwood.

No husband and father ever left a more loving and sorrowing widow
and children to mourn his loss, as never widow and orphans had ten-
derer husband and fonder father.

But they cannot do what their hearts long to do, in honour of the
husband's and 1 he father's memory.

Some of his friends have determined that, for the honour of English
Art, George Cattermole's grave, shall no longer be left unrecorded.

Here are the names of those who will be glad to receive contributions
for this object:—W. P. Frith, Esq., R.A., Pembridge Villas, Bays-
water ; William Evans, Esq., The College, Eton ; Tom Taylor, Esq.,
Lavender Sweep, Wandsworth; S. C. Hall, Esq., F.S.A., 18, South-
ampton Street, Strand; andE. Pranks, Esq., India House, Treasurer.

Or those who choose may pay their tribute direct to the Cattermole
Memorial Fund at Cotjtts's Bank. Verbum Sap. Punch will only add,
that "Bis dat qui citb dot" is a good motto even for those who sub-
scribe to a tombstone.

No Trusting Titles.

Sir Lombard Bankes, at the private view of the Royal Academy,
was much pleased with No. 147. The Banker's Private Room—Nego-
tiating a Loan; but considerably disappointed when he found No. 823.
A Check for a Large Amount,—not exactly the sort of work he expected
to see.

LOW GAMBLERS AND THE BETTER ORDERS.

Whilst Parliament is talking the law remains, and is likely to
remain how much longer Heaven only knows, in the state attested by
the following item of news :—

" Boy Gamblers.—John Ferguson was convicted at Willenhall, Stafford-
shire, yesterday afternoon, and fined £5 and costs, or two months' imprisonment,
for keeping a private gaming hell for apprentice hoys. The house was some-
times crowded with locksmiths' apprentices, who paid defendant a fee upon,
every game of dice and cards. Boys seven years old were amongst the gamblers.
"Wine, whiskey, and ale were drunk, and heavy sums were won and lost.
Defendant was stakeholder. The evidence showed that he counselled the boyn,
if they had no money of their own to stake, to rob their masters of two or
three sovereigns. " .

All this villany has cost the criminal convicted of it only five pounds,
which he probably paid snapping his fingers. If he had not the money,
he is undergoing a short two months' seclusion. Forfeiture of goods
and chattels, with, and not or, five years' penal servitude, would have
more nearly met the demerits of his case. When will such a fellow be
rendered liable by statute to be punished as he deserves ? When Par-
liament shall have done spouting, and has set to work ? Not evea
then, perhaps, for some time; probably not Until Parliament shall have
made its mind up to put down all gambling whether in high life or low.
The Legislature, doubtless, feels that the contrast between the punish-
ment of the keeper of a gaming-house for the inferior classes as a felon,
and the absolute impunity of the proprietor of an aristocratic betting-
office under another name, would be too striking.

A Rousing Question.

When the Jockey Club met at Newmarket on Wednesday last week,
Admiral Rods, according to the newspapers, moved the appointment
of a Committee " to take into consideration the present condition of
the Turf, excluding the subject of betting from their deliberations."
This may seem lifce proposing to perform tbe play of Hamlet with
Hamlet's special business omitted. But, on the other hand, the gallant
Admiral of the Green may very fairly ask the great Racing Tribunal
this question, " What's the odds, so long as you 're happy ? "

What Mrs. Professor Fawcett Considers the Ladies.—The
Commons Preservation Society.