Punch (58.1870)

212 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Mat 28, i87o.

OUR PERT CONTRIBUTOR.

The Nawab Nazim, of Bengal, fills the mouths of his favourite
writers with pearls. I am glad enough to get oysters, especially at the
price last season.

Cold women are often very attractive. Faraday showed why this
is. He proved that magnetic power increased with reduction of

temperature.

Thought I should never see a fresh name for a young lady—parents
stick so to Lucy, Jane, Susan, Mama, and the rest of the old dowdy
lot. Glad to notice, at the last Drawing-room, Lorina, Selina, Stella,
Meta, and Naomi.

" Are you broken ' of' your rest by the yowls of a child cutting
teeth ? " More idiot you. Go to Brighton.

The Greek Bar has protested against the allegation that it is on
friendly terms with the brigands. Reminds me of what a barrister
once said to me. " Nobody's respectable on my circuit, not even the
prisoners."

I see advertised Spratt On Gout. Don't like the omen. Doctors
diet you, which I hate. This sprat would perhaps try to catch my
salmon—and concomitants. Take your drink like a fish, and your
gout like a man.

A monument to Bruce on Bannockburn, to be designed by George
Crulkshank ! Can he be aware of Bruce's habits ?

" Bring here, he said, the Mazers four,
My noble fathers loved of yore :
Thrice let them circle round the board,
The pledge, fair Scotland's rights restored."

The pledge was not an abstinence one, and the Mazers were wine-
cups.

Fenians going to the Red River ? Well, green and red don't mix
well, but I nope our fellahs will try the experiment.

A lady, signing herself Mentia, declares that Women will go on
demanding votes. If she were not a lady, one might prefix a syllable—
the indication of French nobility.

Good name for this year's Derby, eh ? "The Macgregor's Gathering.

Have not been to the Academy yet, bat saw a great exhibition of
painting at the Zoo on Sunday.

Wife of a racing friend of mine made a neat excuse for not sending a
letter. Yisitors all the afternoon—"In fact, I was severely called
upon, and couldn't get to the post."

Fellah made the meanest excuse for not giving me a dinner at
Hampton Court. Said the rain had spoiled the chestnuts. As if I
ever ate chestnuts!

French stage is praised, because everything is done with so much
tact. Right as a rule, dessay. But look at the young men's dresses in
Frou-Frou. Also, after the tremendous scene with the husband, there
was a " call," and he led his wife on—destroying all sense of the
situation.

Bad business, those Christ-Church fellahs at Oxford. Dust in one
of the Eyes of England, eh !

The Secular Difficulty.

There is one consideration which may induce the Secularists not to
persist in opposing the admission of the Bible into National Schools.
If that Book is excluded, the scholars may surmise that the reason is
because they ought not to read it, and then they will.