Punch (63.1872)

July 13, 1872 J

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

11

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

s^^z onday, July 1. —

\v // Mb. Lowe said

// n\ // n\ one of his pleasant

^ \\ ft \\ things. There was

V. (I question on the

\l m hardships of the

- U &/Gbj£S^ H|\ Temporary AVriters

;f §w in the Civil Ser-

J^mK^^r-^^^^^^^^ p>y vice, who appear

fflsF ^~""-^N»~L / / 1:0 have many

^^W^^ ^W1- --!/ things to complain

votes. That was the answer to Pall Mall. Then the Political Com-
mittee asserted that they had sent no message. But it seems that
though they did not do so officially, some of the Committee united
to dispatch the telegraph. Moral, the P. C. in Pall Mall do not
seem well posted up in electioneering details. However, Me. Leith,
who is a man of high talent and exceeding good sense, is elected,
and there is a doubly satisfactory end—a good election made, and
dictation repelled.

Me. Miall then brought forward his very long-threatened Motion
touching the Church of England. But this time he roared like a
sucking dove. He did not move to pull down the Church ; he only
wished, for inquiry into her property. Me. Cubitt proposed to turn
the tables by inquiry into the property of Dissenters. Me. Glad-
, stone referred to what he had said last year, when he told Me.
+h - fcrd? ° u6rS' I Miaxl that to convert the House into an enemy of the Church, he
tneir holidays nave mus^ £rs^ convert the people of England. He had not done so, as
been taken a.^ay- | Was shown by his merely asking for information on the subject,
Mb. Lowe said ne j ^th a view to future proposals which the Government were not
nad not the least j i^iined to welcome, or to promise to welcome in the future. So
objection to give j Mk_ Miaxl was defeated by 295 to 94. Last year, on the bolder
„*v; J^^m?w^ i proposal, he had 84, but the majority on the other side was much
larger. Clearly it is not Me. Miaxl who will be allowed to ex-
tinguish the Church—the Church, vide Cartoon, extinguishing him.

of holidays they
liked to take, but
that during holi-
days, he should not
pay them, of course

\^Y?j\ quite see this "of

jHBr course." Public

Sflf^ §»s money must be

f Ml economically spent,

* /Jflife ^ but there is true

_________ _ .iaVf^t > economy in giving:

':" fg&f^ a valuable servant

^gKH8a8P^ vg^M wlliP occasional relaxa-

l^fogfflfff " ^m^mBmMl c\ tion, without fining

Itta! BIl^^- i'jj^ffllP— begged to hold out

-.^fflf WmW^^^^BsSi^^=^==l- should try to pass

-=^^^^KBW^MjSX^^^^t=^ the Wife's Sister's

h^^^SroWl, fCjJ^Bg^^^-" Marriage Bill this

^^^^^^wHM^S^^^^^SIe year. So the Bill

—was withdrawn

once more.

We then gave ourselves up to miscellaneous talk about parks,
gardens, fountains, Art, frescoes, mosaics, and other pleasant topics.
Me. Osbobne said that the Duke oe Wellington's nose (in
Maclise's great picture) had dropped from his face. Me. Aldee-
man Lusk complained that a plain man could not understand Art-
criticism. We know many handsome men who are equally in the
dark. Sib John Tbelawney proposed that bathing-houses, repre-
senting islands, should be set up in the Serpentine. Me. Hope
wished acacias and laburnums to be planted in the Parks instead of
evergreens. Me. Bowbing asserted that gas was destroying the
House's Library. Mb. Macfie wished to improve the Ladies'
Gallery. In fact we had a delightful conversazione, enlivened by
voting large sums of money for all sorts of agreeable purposes.

Then we grew stern, over the Lords' Alterations in the Ballot Bill,
and Me. Gladstone launched at Me. Cavendish Bentinck so mag-
nificent a piece of irony that it must be transmitted to posterity :—

" Mb. Gladstone —The Hon. Member who has just sat down must recol-
lect that those who meet him in debate do not meet him on equal terms. He
never makes any mistakes—(laughter)—he is not subject to any human in-
firmity ; he knows what a man can deny, and what not. The Hon. Member's
means of acquiring knowledge are derived from higher sources than are avail-
able to us—sources of which we know nothing, and to which we have no
access. We must approach him as infirm mortals, and any suggestions we
make must be submitted to his infallible judgment. If he disapprove, we
must submit to whatever chastisement he in the plenitude of his wisdom may
think proper to inflict."

After this we declined to accept any of the Lords' Amendments,
except some of no importance, and their proposal to make the Ballot
a temporary measure, was rejected by 246 to 165—majority 81.

Tuesday.—The Lords appointed the following Monday for the
consideration of the Ballot Bill. Storm impending.

Mb. Leith, just elected for Aberdeen, took his seat. Hereby
hangeth a tale. There was another Liberal in the field, in whose
favour Mb. Leith would have withdrawn, but his popularity in his
native town made this impossible. Then a warning message was
received from the Political Committee of the Reform Club, imploring
the_ Aberdeen Liberals not to support Mb. Leith, lest the division
of interest should let in a Tory. The warning was disregarded,
with perfect safety, for 6000 Liberals voted against 600 Conserva-
tives. Me. Leith had about double the number of his antagonist's

Wednesday.—Sib Chables Dilke proposed a Bill for laying hold
of all Corporation land, and dividing it into districts, with a view to
Punch does not j its being more profitably used. The Attobney-Geneeal's power of
epithet came to his aid ; he called the Bill crude, idle, destructive,
sweeping, and revolutionary, and the House rejected it by 184 to 17.

There was talk of the usual sort over the foolish and tyrannical
Bill for preventing the Sale of Liquor on Sundays, and this lasted
till the House rose. There can be no difference of opinion among
rational men as to the absurdity of such propositions, but the argu-
ments against them are not strengthened by reference to the Clubs.
These are private establishments, supported by a union of sub-
scribers, and it would be a good thing if the humbler classes got up
their own Clubs on similar principles, adapting the details to their
own habits. Mr. Punch was sorry to read nonsense on the other
side—Members suggesting that the humbler class might buy their
beer, fish, and the like on Saturday, for Sunday. Where are they
to keep such things ? Is a refrigerator, with a weekly hundred
pounds of ice, usually part of an artisan's furniture ? To read such
stuff, with the thermometer at 80°, makes Mr. Punch savager than
a philosopher and philanthropist and philanderer ought to be. Iced
Seltzer and cognac on the instant, Slave !

Thursday.—The Lords read a Second Time the Bill for protecting
children against those who cruelly train them to become acrobats.
Lobd Shaftesbury told two piteous stories about the way the poor
little creatures are maltreated. Acrobatic exhibitions can please
only the lower class of folks—well dressed or not; and it is not for
their delectation that we ought to leave infants to be tortured. There
is no sentimentality about this interference. JNo child can learn to
perform unnatural feats until it has undergone treatment which
should send its tormentors to the treadmill.

Me. Henet James gave a gallant notice, in re the Keogh question,
to the effect that he would ask the House to declare that the priests
grossly misconducted themselves at the Galway election, and that
they should be prevented from doing so another time. This will
bring matters to an issue, and we shall hear what the Imperial Par-
liament says about folks who burn Judges in effigy, and send
widows' caps to their wives.

The Mines Bill was proceeded with, and fresh attempts were made
to destroy its stringent character, but by means of compromise we
prevented any further important detriment to the Bill. The fact
that some mine-owners do everything in their power to prevent
disaster, is no reason why all should not be compelled to do the
same. While the House is on the subject, what is to be done with
miners who break open their safety-lamps for the sake of lighting
their pipes ? Mr. Punch has been informed that after an explosion,
many lamps are found to have been thus madly tampered with.

Friday.—The Lords read the Scottish Education Bill a Second
Time, but the Duke of Richmond gave notice that he should put
more religion into it. To say this to the Duke of Akgyll, Defender
of the Faith in Scotland, demanded that courage which we are so
proud to behold in our Aristocracy.

Mines, in the Commons, and some curious revelations about the
mode in which mine doctors are selected. Some, and often perfectly'
incompetent men, are supplied by the owner; others are chosen by
the men, who always vote, not on the doctor's merits, but in regard
to the quantity of Beer with which he treats them. There was talk
on Egypt. Money was voted, as somebody said, in a "spasmodic"
manner, and Mb. Whalley made a ludicrous exhibition of his sym-
pathy with Castbo, whose case he tried to drag in by the head and
shoulders, but was told that the House was " dead against him," so
he collapsed.