Punch (63.1872)

Octobeb 12, 1872.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

147

A COLOURED CLERGY.

A LARGE FARM.

The new Sheriffs have bound themselves by oath "not
to ' let to farm' the shire of Middlesex or the gaol of
Newgate." At first sight this seems a superfluous pre-
caution against any possible abuse of their office on the
part of the Sheriffs; but there may have been good
reasons, which the Corporation and the Livery think it
best to keep to themselves, for pledging Me. Alderman
White and Mk. Frederick Perkins not to convert
the county of Middlesex (including Newgate) to agri-
cultural uses, or turn it into grass and arable land. We
should, however, feel more comfortable if, next Michael-
mas, steps could betaken to guard against the possibility
of the Sheriffs turning the area of the Royal Exchange
into an orchard, or laying out Billingsgate as a croquet
ground, or transforming the Guildhall into a winter
garden, with opportunities for music and dancing in the
evening—any one of which projects is as likely, some
wet morning, to enter into the heads of the Sheriffs,
perhaps even of the Lord Mayor himself, to the de-
struction of all peace and happiness in the City, as the
farming designs on the soil of Middlesex and the site of
Newgate to which we have thought it our duty to refer.

A Word on Strikes.

{To my old friend P.)

Hang it, Old P., let's ALL strike. Why not? It
will equalise matters generally. After a time, when we
want bread, beef, and beer, we can all begin de novo.
And when we do begin de novo, we'll settle to be satis-
fied with Necessaries, and we shall be Every Man his own
Butcher, Every Man his own Baker, Every Man his own
Washerwoman, Every Man his own Bootmaker, &c,
&c., &c. Then gradually we shall work round to a
rational state. Britons, let's all strike. In the mean-
while I shall go and live quietly in Russia.

Yours truly, Enout.

Title by Prescription.

It has been stated that Sir Roundell Palmer, on his
approaching elevation, would take the title of "Lord

Uncle {cant see so well as he did, and a little hard of hearing). " Who do you
Say thky are, my Dear!—Christian Ministers? 'Ncom'ly kind of 'em to! Mixbury," from his birthplace. There must surely be
give a Concert, to re sure I For a Charitarle Purpose, I ve no Douet, ! some mistake here, for Sir Roundell is a great Lawyer,
my Dear !! " ! not a great Doctor.

THE FREEMAN OF GLASGOW.

You're a sharp man of business, indeed, Robert Lowe :

For a principal partner of Gladstone & Co.,

You seem just a fit man to a critical sight,

When that Firm's viewed in simply a mercantile light.

You've a head on your shoulders, from some of your talk
To conclude, above what waiters use to call " chalk."
But while that must be granted, there's this to be said;
You've a chiefly chalk heart, if a partly chalk head.

In framing a Budget you'd challenge compare,
Impartial to render its weight did you dare,
And cease, in imposing taxation, your plan
To make it unpleasant as much as you can.

But need you, because at a Budget you 're pat,
A Bagman's view take of your place, for all that ?
There is more in that office, by many degrees,
Than the work of a eaveall and parer of cheese.

Let forest and open space, rather than cost
The Nation a farthing, he sold off and lest:
Let a Traveller perish; a Livingstone rot,
If his rescue would lessen a surplus one jot.

Such views are the views of a Bagman, sweet Bob.
And a Bagman of Bagmen. Beguiled by what Snob
Officially down have you let yourself drop,
Mere foreman to he of the national shop ?

A shop in the retail line, Robert, as though
A firm of small grocers were Gladstone & Co.,
Who sacrifice, popular aiming to be,
All else to the end of reducing their tea.

Say some public money's abnormally spent

To rescue a hero, or loss to prevent

Of land reclaimed, open space, common, or wood,

What's the harm, after all, as compared with the good ?

Is a breach of your doctrinaire's doctrine a sin,
That silex you so perseveringly skin ?
Posterity, sure, at museums will view

Certain " flints in the drift," that have been skinned by you.

0 hark how the people your colleagues abuse,
Because you and another are two such dire screws !
By a too parsimonious Ayrton and Lowe
Why should ill-will be raised against Gladstone & Co. ?

QUESTIONS TO BE SETTLED BY CONGRESSES.

1. When is the Season at Islington ?

2. What sort of fishing is there at Ball's Pond ?

3. By the last Census how many Hop-pickers were living at
Kentish Town ?

4. Country gentlemen are often on the look out to "pick up an
animal to suit them." Would this opportunity he offered when a
Horse falls down? If not, explain how you can pick up what
hasn't fallen down.

5. Has it yet been decided who was the first performer of the
tune the old Cow died of ? If still a doubtful matter, is it not
probable that it was Ole Bull, the Celebrated Violinist ?

heartless conduct.

An Elderly Gentleman, while comfortably enjoying the warmth of
his own drawing-room fire, turned his toes out. No reason has as
yet been assigned for this barbarous cruelty.