Punch (63.1872)

30

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 20, 1872.

" PARKUS CULTOR, NON INFREQUENS "

" Shame to bring him to Town ! 0, I assure you, Poppet is very fond of Society. He would be Bored to death all

Summer-Time, if he did not do his Park in the Season."

really wasn't aware until you told me now that you were even a
questionable etoleran."

Explanation wanted. Telford and friend look at me and smile.
" You mean," I say to her, " that you did not think that I was even
a tolerable Equestrian."

" I said so," returns my Aunt. ("Questionable Etoleran," vide
Dixon's Johnsonary, as usual.)

INDIRECT CLAIMS.

Who are the Arbitrators, Umpires, or Referees, at Geneva or
elsewhere, competent to decide upon the justice, the equity, the
propriety, the admissibility of such Claims as the following ?

The Indirect Claim of a Wife when she is walking down Regent
or Oxford Street with her husband, and stops before a large shop
with a large plate-glass frontage, to admire and point out to her
companion " That lovely silk," or " That most becoming Costume,"
or "That elegant Polonaise," with an appealing eye, and, it may be,
a deprecatory glance at her own deteriorating attire. The Claim is
strengthened, if the husband is conscious that in the expiring season
the balance of enjoyment has been in his favour.

The Indirect Claim of the Waiter, at a Dining Establishment
where attendance is charged in the bill, who, his attentions accumu-
lating as the meal draws to an end, is very anxious to know whether
you would not like some more ice in your wine, and most watchful
over the safety and accessibility of your hat, overcoat, and umbrella.

The Indirect Claim of the hanger-on who suddenly appears when
you have hailed a Hansom, and has never yet been known to per-
form a more substantial service than stand in your way as you get
into the vehicle, or, perhaps close one of the flaps ; but who hovers,
and lingers, and looks, with an expression of expectancy in his
gazing eye.

The Indirect Claim of the Cabman who has received his legal fare,
and contemplates it as it lies in his palm with a surprised and
injured air, and, possibly, if his feelings will allow him, and his
manners have not become quite corrupted, with a hand raised to the
brim of his hat.

The Indirect Claim of the Young Gentleman who is on the eve of
returning to school after the holidays, and would be glad if it
occurred to you that he has expenses to meet in the ensuing half.

The Indirect Claim of Mamma, who offers baby for the inspection
of friends and relatives.

The Indirect Claim of the Young Lady who presents herself to the
family circle bewitchingly arrayed for her first ball.

The Indirect Claim of the Juvenile Author who writes to you with
a presentation copy of his little volume of poems.

The Indirect Claim of the promising Painter, whose studio you
visit to inspect the works he is sending to the Royal Academy.

The Indirect Claim of the Crossing-sweepers.

The Indirect Claims of the various classes of persons who prey
upon you at theatres, concerts, and other places of public annoyance
and extortion.

The Indirect Claims of different sections of the community about
the last week in December.

FORGIVENESS FOR ALL.

The thoughtful mind cannot fail to be impressed by the annexed
telegram from Baltimore :—

" The Convention has almost unanimously adopted the Cincinnati platform
unaltered, advocating a general amnesty, impartial suffrage, and Civil Service
reform."

So long a time has elapsed since the close of the American Civil
War that liability to any penal consequences of failure in that
struggle must surely be barred by a common consent equivalent to
a Statute of Limitations. What offences, then, are those of which
we can suppose that the condonation is contemplated by the Cin-
cinnati platform proposing a general amnesty ? Apparently such as
include non-political as well as political misdeeds. That general
amnesty may perhaps be understood to be an amnesty for offences
in general; amongst them for the Erie and Tammany frauds in
particular : and to be based on the general principle advocated by
the Cincinnati platform of " No Punishment."