Punch (63.1872)

Seftbmber si, 1872.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

123

new to me.

he ancient Romans were
right in giving the name
of "impedimenta" to lug-
gage. Historians do not
tell us whether any au-
topsy was instituted to
ascertain if the fears of
the Royal Personage were
well grounded who fore-
boded that "Calais" would
he found inscribed on her
heart; hut I am convinced
that if at this moment an
examination could be made
of the same organ in me,
"luggage" would appear
stamped upon it in legible
characters.

Experience has taught
me in a single lesson that
no man who studies his
personal comfort ought to
venture abroad without
being equipped with the
following articles — short
ladder, coil of rope, pick-
axe, hammer and tacks,
telescope, portable bath,
salt spoon, spare knife and
fork, alpenstock, large
atlas, camp stool, pair of
compasses, wine-bin, ala-
rum, egg-boiler, pedome-
ter, weather-glass, medi-
cine-chest, carriage lamp, and reading-easel. He will rind no diffi-
culty in transporting most of these little matters in the railway
carriage with him, either distributed over the seats, in the netting
above his head, and under his own legs and those of his fellow
travellers, or strapped up with his overcoat, waterproof, rug,
plaid, goloshes, life-preserver, sticks, umbrella, fishing-rod, guides,
manuals, and handbooks.

Some people are colour-blind, others are deaf to all entreaties, a
third section of the community have no taste, and a fourth no feel-
ing. _ For my part, I think that of all the organs of perception as
yet discovered the nose is the one I could most readily dispense with
in foreign towns and cities. Cotton wool seemed to be commonly
used abroad in the ears: I should say there are other orifices to
which it might also be applied with advantage to the wearer.

It has been calculated by a professional expert, whose name is not
necessarily intended for publication, that with the money annually
paid by the English traveller to the foreign hotel-keeper for lights,

bless the name of their benefactor, when they recognise it in the
Visitors' Book ; but in all future foreign expeditions (may I again
have the advantage of your companionship, my friend from whom I
part to-day !) I shall travel with my own salt-spoon.

I have planned a very compact and pleasant round for next year
— Roumania, the Cis-Leithan country, Hungary, Poland, Dalecarlia,
and home bv the Grecian Archipelago.

What is the prettiest sight I have seen ? Some St. Bernard pup-
pies. The loveliest ? A sunset. The most astounding ? A gaming
table. The most amusing ? A party of school-girls taking tea in
the public room of a German inn.

If beef and mutton at a shilling a pound, and other indications
of a high state of national prosperity, are leading you to think of
economy in your rambles, avoid all places which have a season.

I land at Dover, which has sent two Members to Parliament since
the time of Edward the First, with an immediate prospect of a
return to Notting Hill, office hours, letter-writing, organ grinders,
tradesmen's books, and vociferous costermongers. Having under-
gone a temporary separation from newspapers, everyone will at once
guess what is the first thing I fly to when my eye again travels
down their columns— not the Autumn Manoeuvres, not the Geneva
Arbitration, not the doings of the Emperors, not the movements of
the Sea Serpent, not the working of the Ballot,—but the present
price of Coals. To ascertain this, can any one wonder that I repress
even the natural impatience I feel to know who has been appointed
Chancellor of the Duchy oe Lancaster since I quitted my native
shores ?

And now in the retrospect, when the piano next door has resumed
the tune I left it playiDg, what do I regret? That I did not visit
that Cathedral or that Museum, or go up those 132 steps to see the
fine view from the tower, or take that lovely walk ? No—that I did
not taste again that beer at Louvain. Ignoramus.

ARDUOUS EXPERIMENT.

A controversy has been raised in a contemporary magazine about
a suggestion thus stated by the Post .—

" Build two hospitals, treat both alike as to science, admit the same number
and the same class of patients, but pray heaitily for one and not for the other,
and see the result. If more are cured in the prayed-for hospital, the balance
is in favour of prayer."

Having made some objections, based on cultivated veneration, to
this proposal, the Post inquires :—

" Would a monarch, or even a learned professor, listen to a fellow-creature
who first questioned his existence, and next moment wished to assay the coin
he save, and test the bread held out to him ? "

This view of the case, perhaps, commends itself to the generality
of reverent minds. Yet it may be questioned, even by a thinking
Bishop, whether the d fortiori argument derived from offended
human dignity is not infinitely illogical. Under the laws which
govern the visible universe, the test of truth, sine qua non, is crucial
the entire Continent"might be"brilliantly iUuminated with "wax j experiment. Is it absurd to suppose that the order of invisible

candles during the hours of darkness from Michaelmas to Easter. i thing3 is not diametrically opposite, but rather corresponds to, the

If merely composites were used, the period of lighting could be ex-
tended to the whole year.

Live abroad for a month, and never as a rule sleep more than two
nights in the same place. If, when you have settled down again by

order of things invisible ?

But analogy is not sameness, and the proposal to use identity of
method in both natural and supernatural research may involve a
blunder. Even if the latter line of inquiry ought to be pursued

your own gas-stove (there 'can be no more firesides, with coals e?actly like the former, exception might still be taken to the expe
at the present price), you can keep distinct in your recollection , nmenP 01 tne two hospitals, with the object above indicated. The
all the churches, town- halls, museums, market-places, ruined castles, experimenter could not be sure of his conditions. His required
curiosities, antiquities, hotels, tables d'hote, landlords, and waiters aitter.ence between the two cases might not exist. He could not be

certain that the prayers on one side were genuine, unless he prayed
himself. On the other, he could not be assured that there was no
praying. Even in a hospital of professed atheists somebody might
be moved to say his prayers. To render the experiment really
scientific, not to say conclusive, the only safe plan would be to let
the two hospitals be veterinary hospitals. The only creatures that
can be trusted not to pray in their extremity are the dumb
animals.

A Claim against Claimants.

you have encountered, there is no effort of memory, no exploit of
mental calculation which you may not hope, if your health continues
unimpaired, to accomplish.

On this my last night abroad, with the white cliffs of Old England
gleaming in the future, and rather a heavy hotel bill to discharge
in the present, let me pause on this second-floor to consider whether
I have learned anything, discovered anything, added anything to
my stock of information in the past twenty-four days. I may not
have_ solved any outstanding problem in Gothic architecture, or
political economy, or the law of nations, as I designed doing when I
left Notting Hill; but, at least, I know how melted butter ought to
be served up, and I have joined in the game of German skittles.
Ihes increase of knowledge has not all been on my side. The good
landlord of the " Schiitzen-hof " knows now to what use to put the
borage which grows in abundance in his garden. This is as it
should be._ An exchange of courtesies between foreign nations is
always desirable, and forms one of the surest guarantees of a lasting
peace.

He and others of his profession have treated me well. I will
acknowledge their attentions by supplying a little deficiency in their

nr^T^T^l8* wM?Ji haS uU8ea me <f me ^easiness. I will The Isle of Skye is proposed for next year's manoeuvres. By all
present each of them with a salt-spoon. Succeeding tourists will means, let the troops go up to Skye, and besiege a Castle in the Air.

Are the Claimants who have made good the Alabama Claims pre-
pared to do as they would be done by '( It is said that the Southern
States intend to demand £6,000,000 from the North for an indemnity
on account of their losses through emancipation. Will the Yankees
liquidate these Emancipation Claims ? Then, as Mr. O'Brallaghan
observes, they will be paid in their own coin.

autumn manoeuvres.