Punch (63.1872)

242

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 7, 1872.

HAPPINESS FOR THE HUMBLEST.

otjbtless minds of enlarged
sympathy have derived
pleasure from the follow-
ing announcement in the
Post .—

"Thr Duke of Bitc-
clettch's Birthday. — The
London tradesmen of the Duke
of Buccleuch celebrated the
anniversary of his Grace's
birthday yesterday morning
by dining together at the
Freemasons' Tavern, Great

THE RETURN OF THE ADMIRAL;

OR, RED-HEART RUM.

We thought a British Admiral beneath St. Paul's should sleep,
And therefore we did not consign old Trunnion to the deep.
The skipper said, " Although extinct may be the vital spark,
We will not have him eaten up by yonder brutal shark.

" What matter if the spirit dwell no longer in the clay ?
Still spirit put outside of that will keep it from decay.
What spirit for that purpose will the fittest spirit be ?
The New Tea Spirit, Robur, lads, suggests itself to me."

the excellent musical arrange'
ments, under the direction of
Mr. Eansford."

" The New Tea Spirit Robur, Sir, this vessel can't afford,
Queen Street. Mr. Baily, of I Because a certain quantity is all we have on board.
Mount Street, presided over a ; There's but little gin and whiskey, still less brandy, and there's

larger gathering than for some , some

years past. The pleasure of j B t not a s{ je d ^ muCQ ime 01d ,jamaica Rum »

the evening was increased by j

" St. Paul's must hold our Admiral, whatever may betide,
So take the biggest cask you have and his corpus put inside.
Then pour in Old Jamaica Rum, and fill it to the brim;
When a selfish fellow in ; But our Admiral shall never sink as long as we can swim."
narrow circumstances reads

such a piece of news as the | Still lower ran our alcohol, and lower as we flew,
above, it inspires him with Till stinted were the officers, as first had been the crew ;
the mean and miserable And all hands in chorus shouted, " To a pretty pass we've come!
passion of envy. But a We have scarcely any Robur, and are almost out of Rum."
largely sympathetic one is
moved by its perusal with ! One morn was Barney Bunting with Billy Bowling found
amiable and happy feelings. Instead of envying the nobleman to Dead drunk abaft the binnacle, when the boatswain's mate went
whom it refers, he puts himself in his place, and,_ by so doing, i round.

essentially as well as ideally ennobles himself, by making that noble- j Their words were inarticulate amid the tempest's roar ;
man's happiness his own. To do that, besides energetic benevo- But, "They've been and tapped the Admiral!" aghast the sea-
lence, no more is necessary than adequate imagination. Try to men swore,

fancy yourself a Duke, consider what an extensive benefactor you |
must be to your species when you have a host of tradesmenholding
a festival every year to celebrate your birthday. All the delight felt
by his Grace himself when he makes this reflection, you yourself
experience if you succeed in the endeavour to imagine yourself him.
Thus much of the enjoyment attending rank and wealth, too, you
can realise without paying anything for it; whereas it must cost an
actual Duke something considerable. The bold Buccleuch's good
health, and long life to him!

" WELCOME BACK, BOBBIES

Now, welcome back, our Bobbies, to our arms that love you well,
Your Henderson, your Public, your Punch, your area-Se^e .•
Defiance of authority no more, let's hope, to show,
Nor go wrong, like naughty children, when a Good-child bids you go.

We look to you, our Bobbies, example high to set;
Our A 1 stands, by right, a-top of our civic alphabet.
But the staff that London leans on is broken in her hand,
When he that should bid roughs "move on," along with roughs _

takes stand. j habitants, few in number but very agreeable, they were entertained

The New Tea Spirit, Robur, first was advertised about,
And after that came E,ed Eeart Rum on posters likewise out:
But never for a moment did we countenance the " hum"
That our late lamented Admiral came o'er in Red Heart Rum.

THREE GOOD COURSES.

Geographers, and Chartographers, and Topographers, are under-
stood to adhere to some old-world notions about Arcadia in connec-
tion with Greece, and the Morea, and the poets and fabulists of old;
but a large and daily increasing number of agreeable, intelligent,
and influential people, residing in London and its suburbs, and in the
country districts, have made the valuable discovery—they make no
secret of it—that this blissful region is much nearer home than it
has been the custom to suppose ; indeed they go so far as to assert
that they have found Arcadia, Happy Arcadia, much to their satis-
faction, in Middlesex, in London, in Regent Street, in Waterloo
Place, in the Gallery of Illustration!

These same enterprising explorers further allege that after
making acquaintance with Arcadia, Happy Arcadia, and its in-

You are soldiers, though your colour be the lobster's yet unboiled : I &l a oJ Clock Tea, which they relished greatly and were then

True blue's a noble uniform, that never should be soiled. | ^1^/5^™™!" V1?a and oyercoats-at least those of them
As your duty's to keep order, so 'tis orders to obey,
Not to argue with your officers, or their commands gainsay.

To hold her own authority has in these days much ado,
Now each man's as good as another, if he isn't better too.
In your helmets of black felt walks crowned the majesty of law,
And, as her light is your bull's-eye, it should be without flaw.

If the force of Order listen to Disorder's Siren song,
Nor put wax into their ears when Good Children tempt to wrong ;
Needs must that we deaf ears should turn e'en to their just demands,
And stint what else had been bestowed with large and liberal hands.

But let bye-gones be bye-gones; you were misled, you fell;
You've been punished ; you've asked pardon; you've been par-
doned : all is well.
Henceforth be the faith of London in her Bobbies as before,
And delegates, disobedience, and defiance be no more.

to a correspondent.

You must have been strangely misinformed. The name of the
Wmchester Founder was William of Wykeham, not Lick 'em.

who were nervous and timid—on hearing that there was something
which was Very Catching, but being solemnly assured that they
would find nothing which was infectious (except the laughter),
remained, and congratulated themselves that they had not yielded
to a momentary panic, and so lost the diversion of going a-fishing
with young Mr. Dibble, Miss Dora Keetle, and the other worthy
successors of Izaak Walton.

Altogether, there can be no doubt that those who have wit enough
to exchange the disagreeable realities of London, in these gloomy
months, for the Gallery of Illustration and its pleasant illusions of
Happy Arcadia, Five o' Clock Tea, and Very Catching, will be able
to lay their heads on their pillows at night, and say, with the
Emperor Theodolite, " We have not lost a day ! "

A Game of Balls.

A Ball, danced on Thursday last at Brighton, is understood in
fashionable circles to have been the Ball of the Brighton season. It
was announced as the " County Croquet Ball." Thus in Sussex it
appears that the pastime of Croquet comprises one grand ball addi-
tional to the ordinary number of Croquet balls. But in the case of
both them and it we perceive, on reflection, that the ball is at the
foot of the player. Mark you that.