DOI issue:
December 27, 1873
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16937#0268
HAVING THE BEST OF IT.
Foxhunter (condescendingly). “ Your Nag looks Fresher than mine to-Day, Pipkin!”
Pipkin (a fast-driving Baker). “ Nothin’ like keepin’ him in Condition, I say, Squire. Me and my Pony goes Twenty Mile
a Day with a Cart, and we ’re always Ready ! ”
SITTINGS IN ERROR.
It may be judged by some people rather a grand thing to serve on
a Grand Jury ; but that Grand Jurors themselves are not so very
much impressed by the grandeur of their service would appear from
the following memorial, which Mr Punch preserves as a condensed
essay on a question that affects a vast number of unfortunate but
otherwise respectable men :—
“The Grand Jury, assembled at the Quarter Sessions for the Borough
of Birmingham, respectfully represent that while recognising the duty
of every citizen to aid, regardless of inconvenience, in the administration
of the law, whenever required, yet cannot terminate its labours on the present
occasion without expressing a very strong opinion that the time has arrived
when the functions of Grand Juries in large towns and districts should cease,
as having been long practically superseded by the full investigation in public
that invariably takes place before competent magistrates, with the invaluable
aid of skilled legal advisers of both prosecutor and prisoner before them, and
before whom the evidence is thoroughly sifted and commitment thoroughly
weighed before being resolved upon. Contrasted with this, the unaided,
haphazard, and entirely one-sided investigation in the Grand Jury room, must
appear to every thoughtful mind as superfluous and unsatisfactory, relating
as it does to a state of society long since vanished and gone. The Grand Jury,
therefore, cannot but feel that the loss of time most valuable to them involved
in their attendance here is not compensated by any real assistance that they
have given in the administration of justice. It may also be stated, on good
authority, that criminals have ever counted upon the difficulties Grand Juries
have to contend with in eliciting evidence as an important point in their
favour.”
There is, clearly, no denying the presence of good sense in this
appeal, although there may be some slight doubt as to the presence
of good grammar. But there is not the slightest doubt that, to
“ every thoughtful mind,” the serving on a jury of any sort or kind
can rarely be regarded as being “ satisfactory,” or, indeed, as being
anything except a horrid nuisance. It entails, in most cases, a
costly waste of time, and an alarming cost of temper ; and although
a Special Juror may pride himself on having done the State a special
service, the odds are. after all, that, unlike the jury, the service is a
petty one. A Grand Juror, however, not merely finds his work a
nuisance, but may well be fearful of its causing an injustice.
“ Unaided, haphazard, and entirely one-sided,” his criminal inves-
tigation can hardly be considered a harmless superfluity. If rogues
and rascals can count upon the voice of a Grand Jury to favour
their escape from the punishment they merit, surely honest people
shortly will come to the conclusion that the calling of Grand Juries
is a grand mistake.
CHRISTMAS-DAY FOLK-LORE.
If Christmas-Day falls on a Sunday, they say in Shropshire that
valuable pieces of Church preferment will become vacant during the
next twelve months.
If it falls on a Monday, there is a prevalent belief in the East
Riding of Yorkshire that the apple crop will be different from the
pear crop, and the cherry crop show a marked contrast to the plum
crop.
If it falls on a Tuesday, there is a common saying in Glamorgan-
shire that the emigration will be greater from Liverpool than from ,
Lowestoft.
If it falls on a Wednesday, it is impossible to persuade the lower
orders in Huntingdonshire that there wall not be vacancies in the
House of Commons before another year is out.
If it falls on a Thursday (as this year), every school-boy in North- ,
umberland knows that the Bank rate of Discount will be subject to
considerable fluctuations.
• If it falls on a Friday, the old women in Suffolk nod their heads
and predict that a per-centage of the adult population will contract
unlucky marriages.
If it falls on a Saturday, you cannot shake the strong conviction
which runs through all the Home Counties that the Peerage will
receive an accession to its ranks before another December comes
round.
256
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 27, 1873.
Foxhunter (condescendingly). “ Your Nag looks Fresher than mine to-Day, Pipkin!”
Pipkin (a fast-driving Baker). “ Nothin’ like keepin’ him in Condition, I say, Squire. Me and my Pony goes Twenty Mile
a Day with a Cart, and we ’re always Ready ! ”
SITTINGS IN ERROR.
It may be judged by some people rather a grand thing to serve on
a Grand Jury ; but that Grand Jurors themselves are not so very
much impressed by the grandeur of their service would appear from
the following memorial, which Mr Punch preserves as a condensed
essay on a question that affects a vast number of unfortunate but
otherwise respectable men :—
“The Grand Jury, assembled at the Quarter Sessions for the Borough
of Birmingham, respectfully represent that while recognising the duty
of every citizen to aid, regardless of inconvenience, in the administration
of the law, whenever required, yet cannot terminate its labours on the present
occasion without expressing a very strong opinion that the time has arrived
when the functions of Grand Juries in large towns and districts should cease,
as having been long practically superseded by the full investigation in public
that invariably takes place before competent magistrates, with the invaluable
aid of skilled legal advisers of both prosecutor and prisoner before them, and
before whom the evidence is thoroughly sifted and commitment thoroughly
weighed before being resolved upon. Contrasted with this, the unaided,
haphazard, and entirely one-sided investigation in the Grand Jury room, must
appear to every thoughtful mind as superfluous and unsatisfactory, relating
as it does to a state of society long since vanished and gone. The Grand Jury,
therefore, cannot but feel that the loss of time most valuable to them involved
in their attendance here is not compensated by any real assistance that they
have given in the administration of justice. It may also be stated, on good
authority, that criminals have ever counted upon the difficulties Grand Juries
have to contend with in eliciting evidence as an important point in their
favour.”
There is, clearly, no denying the presence of good sense in this
appeal, although there may be some slight doubt as to the presence
of good grammar. But there is not the slightest doubt that, to
“ every thoughtful mind,” the serving on a jury of any sort or kind
can rarely be regarded as being “ satisfactory,” or, indeed, as being
anything except a horrid nuisance. It entails, in most cases, a
costly waste of time, and an alarming cost of temper ; and although
a Special Juror may pride himself on having done the State a special
service, the odds are. after all, that, unlike the jury, the service is a
petty one. A Grand Juror, however, not merely finds his work a
nuisance, but may well be fearful of its causing an injustice.
“ Unaided, haphazard, and entirely one-sided,” his criminal inves-
tigation can hardly be considered a harmless superfluity. If rogues
and rascals can count upon the voice of a Grand Jury to favour
their escape from the punishment they merit, surely honest people
shortly will come to the conclusion that the calling of Grand Juries
is a grand mistake.
CHRISTMAS-DAY FOLK-LORE.
If Christmas-Day falls on a Sunday, they say in Shropshire that
valuable pieces of Church preferment will become vacant during the
next twelve months.
If it falls on a Monday, there is a prevalent belief in the East
Riding of Yorkshire that the apple crop will be different from the
pear crop, and the cherry crop show a marked contrast to the plum
crop.
If it falls on a Tuesday, there is a common saying in Glamorgan-
shire that the emigration will be greater from Liverpool than from ,
Lowestoft.
If it falls on a Wednesday, it is impossible to persuade the lower
orders in Huntingdonshire that there wall not be vacancies in the
House of Commons before another year is out.
If it falls on a Thursday (as this year), every school-boy in North- ,
umberland knows that the Bank rate of Discount will be subject to
considerable fluctuations.
• If it falls on a Friday, the old women in Suffolk nod their heads
and predict that a per-centage of the adult population will contract
unlucky marriages.
If it falls on a Saturday, you cannot shake the strong conviction
which runs through all the Home Counties that the Peerage will
receive an accession to its ranks before another December comes
round.
256
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 27, 1873.