September 6, 1873.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

99

‘'EVIL COMMUNICATIONS,” &c

Lord Reginald. “Ain’t yep. goin’ to have some Puddin’, Miss Richards? It’s so
Jolly ! ”

The Governess. “There again, Reginald! ‘ Puddin' ’—‘ Goin' ’— ‘ A in' t yer’ ! I!
That’s the way Jim Bates and Dolly Maple speak—and Jim’s a Stable-Boy, and
Dolly’s a Laundry-Maid /”

Lord Reginald. “Ah! but that’s the way Father and Mother speak, too—
and Father’s a Duke, and Mother’s a Duchess!! So there!”

POPE AND SHAKSPEARE.

More than one paper has contained the following announcement, with an addition which
suggests the thought that the Pope must he a reader of Shakspeare. Our contemporaries
state that His Holiness highly commends, and grants indulgences for co-operation in the
performance of the project, of which, in a brief lately published, he thus speaks :—

“ As pilgrimages in Italy have been prohibited by the Government prefects, several Catholics at Bologna
have decided to invite their fellow Catholics to undertake in September three spiritual pilgrimages—one
to the Holy Land, the second to the sacred shrines of Italy, and the third to the various foreign
sanctuaries.”

In the Fifth Act, and First Scene, of Shakspeare’s Henry the Fifth, you will find this
speech, from the mouth of Captain Fluellen, addressed to Ancient Pistol :—

“ I peseech you heartily, scurvy lazy knave, at my desires, and my requests, and my petitions, to
eat, look you, this leek ; pecause, look you, you do not love it, nor your affections, and your appetites, and
your digestions, does not agree with it, I would desire you to eat it.”

Because the Government of Italy, look you, have prohibited pilgrimages, and their
authority, and general order, and the public health, do not agree with them, therefore, His
Holiness appears to say, I will grant indulgences to all you who take part in them. The
Government of Victor. Emmanuel will excuse the comparison of themselves to Pistol, and
the Welsh will not be angry at the analogy suggested between Fluellen and the Pope.

Milk and Water.

Typhoid fever is said to have been produced by milk. It has also been ascribed to
impure water. May it not have arisen from a combination of those causes? The Water
Companies replenish the “ Cow with the Iron Tail.”

STUDY AND SPORT.

THE SCHOOLBOY’S PETITION.

{To be sung, to the tune of “ Robinson Crusoe,"
to all lazy Schoolmasters.)

My dear Mr. Punch,

With your elegant hunch,

Pray hear a poor Schoolboy’s petition,

For my jolly old Dad
Says I’m going to the bad,

And in a most hopeless condition.

I can jump five feet four,

Drive my fist through a door,

Bowl, bat, throw, and can keep up my
wicket,

Play football, and row ;

But what bothers me now
Is the row about field-sports and Cricket.

Why, when I won the match
With a left-handed catch,

And they carried me to the Pavilion,

With excitement and pride
The old Governor cried,

And said, “ That boy’s one in a million ! ”

And my dear Cousin Grace,

With a blush on her face,

Said, “Charley, I feared you had missed
her; ”

And her smile was so sweet,

That, by way of a treat,

Mr. Punch, on the sly, Sir, I k-.

’Tis a very strange thing,

They first make me a king,

When a boy, and now wish to dethrone me,
And whatever I win,

They all say “ it’s a sin,”

And do nothing but scold and bemoan me,

Mr. Punch, hear my prayer;

Do you think it is fair
To make all this hubbub and bustle,

And to say, night and day,

That I’m in a bad way,

Because I have plenty of muscle ?

With my youth and my strength,

I would go any length
To save the dear Governor’s pocket;

To Australia, Hew Zealand,

Or some other free land,

If they’d send me, I’m off like a rocket.

And I don’t care a rush
If I find in the bush
My fate to be hardship and danger :

Let the weak stay at home,

And leave others to roam
And cast lot in the land of the stranger.

If I am a dunce,

Tell the Masters at once
’Tis their fault, and I ought to be pitied;
And let them all know,

If they won’t teach the slow,

They should stick up—“ No dunces ad-
mitted.”

It seems very funny,

If they take the money,

Masters don’t care what Schoolboys are
brought to.

Never mind what they say,

Only once stop their pay,

And they ’ll very soon do what they ought
to.

Philosophical Reflection.—How dii
ferent is the bias of men’s minds !_ What
opposite tendencies they exhibit in their
investigation of the phenomena of mental
science ! For example, the Lawyer inclines
to the abstract, the Builder to the concrete.