Punch (73.1877)

168 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 13, 1877.

FRENCH POLITICS.

Every Frenchman takes an Intelligent Interest in the Affairs of his
Country—even the Butcher-Boy.

LINES ON A LECTURE.

'(At the Midland Institute.)

True, whether Will is free, or not,
It matters, Tyndall, ne'er a jot
To Justice with offenders dealing
For acts of homicide or stealing.
Say that Will's freedom's but a name,
We punish convicts all the same,
Hang murderers in terror em still,
To make their fellows fear to kill.
Send to the treadmill erring brothers,
And whip them for the good of others,
Or e'en their own ; by flagellation
Enforcing Will to reformation.
So men for misbehaviour flog
A heedless or a wayward dog
(Except of fine for cruelty
To animals afraid they be).
We, some of us that i9, have got
A conscience—which a dog has not;
And preaching to the Moral Sense,
In such, may waken penitence.
But, if our Will's the mere creation
Of Circumstance and Organisation
Then Conscience, however queasy,
Can have no cause to feel uneasy.
Man's thoughts and deeds are only just
What they must be—because they must.
He, for contrition or remorse,
Has no more reason than a horse.
His consciousness of free volition
Is mere illusive superstition.
His heart can help his inclination
]STo more than its own palpitation.
Did Conscience to a watch belong,
The watch might feel that it went wrong.
But how could it itself accuse
Knowing it wasn't free to choose ?
Conscience no more should trouble man
Than a Marine Ascidian,
From that first parent if so be
That we derive our pedigree,
Down through organical gradations,
Pongo, and such—" our poor relations."

The Original Fish Torpedo.—The Torpedo vul-
garis.

HINTS FOR THE " LIBRARIANS."

The Book-keepers—the librarians—English, American, and
Foreign, have been holding a Conference in London. They read
many useful papers, and discussed many interesting and important
questions ; but they left untouched, probably through want of time,
several topics which might fairly have been thought worthy of their
attention. AYe will name a few of these omissions, that the
Librarians may think them carefully over, and deliberate upon
them when next they assemble.

What penalties ought to be inflicted on those objectionable cha-
racters who (1) borrow books, and forget to return them ; (2) scribble
on the margins ; (3) turn the pages down ; (4) drop crumbs between
the leaves ; and (5) are careless of the binding ?

What should be the treatment of those presumptuous persons
who pronounce opinions (mostly unfavourable) on books without
reading them ?

Given a diligent reader who every year conscientiously peruses
works on history, antiquities, theology (including sermons), moral
philosophy, palaeontology, biology, political economy, and scientific
treatises—how much light refreshment, in the shape of novels,
would you allow him in the course of the twelve months ?

What binding would be most suitable for (1) " a book in breeches,"
(2) " a walking dictionary " ?

Would it not be highly convenient if publishers were compelled
(by special legislation, if necessary) to issue all books and period-
icals ready cut for reading ?

If paper knives, in the present backward state of civilisation
must be used, what should be their shape, and of what material
ought they to be made ?

May Caxton be fairly described as a man of the bourgeois type ?

At what age ought a Librarian to retire from active service, or,
professionally speaking, to be shelved ?

To prevent unnecessary multiplication of books, would it not be

advisable that aspiring authors should submit their manuscripts,
prior to publication, to a jury of Librarians, and other experts, in
order that they may determine whether what is now proposed to be
printed has not been said already, and better said ?

When a man. has been laboriously at work all day long, and enters
a free Library or Mechanics' Institute in the evening, is it reasonable
to expect him to read historical, scientific, and serious works eagerly
and exclusively ?

Would it be a piece of unjustifiable extravagance to pay an ac-
complished and experienced gentleman, who has a language at the
end of every finger, and is at the head of a large'1 library in a large
city, as much as is spent on a single evening entertainment in the
fashionable season ?

What books would you select to take with you—number of
volumes 'restricted to six—if you were condemned to live on a
desert island for a whole year ?

What is the average existence of the modern novel, and how many
of those published in the course of a season in three volumes might
not be compressed into one, to the advantage both of Avriters and
readers ?

Name books suitable for reading (1) at breakfast, (2) on a wet day
at the seaside, (3) in spare moments before dinner, (4) after dinner,
(5) by the fire in the twilight, and (6) over a cigar.

If a man were to read for twelve hours a day every day in the
year (Sundays excepted), and finish thirty octavo pages in each
hour, how long would it take him to complete the perusal of all the
books in the British Museum P

Explain why the critical study of Shakspeare is conducive'to
irritability of temper.

Good Advertisement.

NO MORE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS.—Read-'s new Novel.
*** The blank can bo filled up from Mudie's List.