Punch (73.1877)

November 17, 1877.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

225

A FUTURE LORD MAYOR'S SHOW.

'0 more talk of doing

N'

away with the Lord
Mayor's Show! The
Corporation of London
has risen in public es-
teem. Lord Mayors of
late years have judi-
ciously taken to regaling
the representatives of
Literature and Art. Their
enlightened hospitality
has duly fructified. They
have won golden opinions
from all sorts ot men,
and especially Gentlemen
of the Press. City page-
antry is no longer a sub-
ject of ridicule. The only
idea of interfering with
the Lord Mayor's Show
that could now be dreamt
of is that of improving
it. It might, indeed, be
considerably improved by
a proper enlargement of
the usual procession.

By the bonds of ban-
queting the highest per-
sonages and bodies in
the State are now con-
nected with the City.
They—as many of them as
possible — should attend
and figure in the Lord
Mayor's train on the
Ninth of November, be-
sides the Aldermen and
Civic Officials. The Lord Chancellor, the Archbishops of Canter-
bury and York, the General Commanding in Chief, the Lord Chief
Justice, and other Law Lords, the rest of Her Majesty's Judges, the
Speaker of the House of Commons, Representative Members of the
United Service Clubs, the Colleges of Physicians and Surgeons, the
Royal Academy, the Dramatic Profession, Athenaeum and Garrick
Clubs, and other principal literary and scientific societies should incor-
porate themselves in the pageant, and render themselves, by their
participation in that triumphal display, subsidiary to the honour,
glory, and renown of the City of London and of the Great Loud
Mator. Tn so doing, of course not altogether without an eye to
Mansion House dinners, they would demonstrate that true gratitude
which consists in the lively expectation of future favours.

POLITICS AND PANTOMIMES.

(Showing what happens if a Litterateur-of-all-Work is doing a
Leader on the Situation in France and a Christmas Piece at
the same time.)

At a moment when factions of all colours in France [that reminds
me—I wonder if Crummies has engaged a Harlequin.'), when the
President has returned to the scene (by the way, that Transforma-
tion must not be entirely left to the Scenic Artist, or I know what
will become of my tag.'), and a sudden change has come over [by
Jingo ! why sliOiildnH we have the House of Commons Scene like a
Venetian blind, and at one touch of Harlequin'1 s bat change it into
New Billingsgate Market.') the political horizon (Mem. not to forget
the Setting Sun to back the Desert Land of Despair), the unex-
pected successes of the Reds (of course that is just the thing ive want :
all the characters in the Palace of Rougegorge the Rough and Ready
shall be dressed in deep crimson or bright scarlet—splendid effect ! .')
Just when the public hopes were sinking (If Crummies does not
have that trap made in the right place, my demon is done for),
Gambetta's address has startled the pacific (Good title ! " The Pol-
troon of the Pacific, or Pantaloon in a Predicament ") world from
its slumbers. For MacMahon to make a rapid exit from politics
(Happy thought! Exit MacMahon, afterwards Clown, through a
clock-face labelled "Elections") was once expected. The new
Cabinet has, however, been constructed (A propos—couldn't the
wicked Fairy come out of a cabinet a la Maskelyne and Cook ?) on
the old lines (Note—to ask the master Carpenter whether neiv ropes
are required) in such a manner that it is evident the Marshal (This
time the Comic Man shall be a Field-Marshal, not a Lord Cham-
berlain) wishes to listen to the voice of the people (Good chorus of
excited populace in big heads and red nightcaps—try Ofeenbach).

During the late Elections a complete reverse (Order strip-dress for
King Bamboozeler—" Ulster" to be converted into night-gown) was
to be expected; and if many of the voters have fallen back on the
leading men of the province (Fanny notion—all the characters
falling out of Palace-window on to the principal Comic Nobleman,
and flattening him into a pancake—';< Flattening a Flat" good line
in the bill), France, like a spoilt child (Confound it.' here 's a tele-
gram from Crummies, saying he must have that awful Infant Phe-
nomenon introduced. Hanged if I will !), no longer deceived by
the red-hot principles (i~ wish the red-hot poker were really burning,
wouldn't I run it into Crummies and his Infant '.) of the Commune,
rises conspicuous (/ always said Miss Attricoma was the one for the
centre iron, and she shall be .') above the petty intrigues of her
Press (" Turn the Mangle, Malachi" will be a grand chorus for my
comic song icith topical verses), where a venal Journalocracy is bat-
tening (neio battens must be put in, or my piece may be as well
produced iti a barn) on the prospects of a throne (N.B. King's seat
to be blue velvet and gold). They have to fight against functionaries
(I wonder how many supers Crummies will give me /) to whom
Gambf.tta is an epouvantail (" The Roost of the Skeleton Scare-
crows " would look well as a Scene—Think over it) who delights in
subtle combinations and tortuous transformations. (/ shall never
get this article finished. There's the Scene-Painter worrying me
through a wire to come and see the Model he has made for " The
Boudoir of Bellerophon" in " The Bright Bounds of Blissful
Beatitude." Bless him ! I shall have to sit up all night '.)

A COURAGEOUS NON-COMBATANT.

Hp he Special Corre-
spondent of the
Times with the
Russian Army at
head - quarters in
Bulgaria does not,
perhaps, "bear a
charmed life." He
can hardly have
been treated with
any chemical solu-
tion which could
have made him
shoot-proof, as the
son of Thetis,
dipped in the Styx,
was rendered in-
vulnerable—all but the heel. Nevertheless, this intrepid gentleman
wires from Bucharest as follows :—

" The order preventing Correspondents going to the front is an absurdity,
but we cannot evade it, and therefore when firing is heard we are compelled
to await the pleasure of the Kussian Staff to communicate the result. I am
in hopes that this ridiculous restriction will soon be withdrawn."

If the particularly fearless penner of the foregoing passage has
any friends and relations who hope to see him at home again safe and
sound, rejoicing in the preservation of all his limbs and members,
they will hardly participate in the hope he expresses of being soon
permitted to advance from out of harm's way, and remove himself
to a position in which, at the safest, he will have stray bullets
whistling about his ears, and erratic shot and shells ricocheting and
bursting around him. Gallant mortal!

But, after all, he may not be altogether the right man in the right
place. Perhaps he disregards bullets from the persuasion that
" every bullet has its billet." Then he is a fatalist. As such, the
"Special" is not specially qualified for the Russian Camp. A
believer in kismet, he would find himself more at home amongst the
Turks.

the macmahonists in the chambers.

" A fourto u-itous concourse of atoms." And more than four to
one against success.

How and in what Character Mustjrus Pasha Sat and Spoke
as a Representative of the Diplomatic Body at Guildhall,
on the 9th.—Hobson's Choice—" This, or none."

Difference between Grant and his Host (at Paris).—Silence
and Notes.