DOI issue:
July 29, 1882
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17753#0046
38
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[Jolt 29, 1882.
REGIMENTAL
Volunteer Captain. “Ah, Sergeant Jones—didn’t I send you an Order to be at
Headquarters on Monday, at Nine o’Clook, avith a Corporal and Six Men for Doty?”
Sergeant. “Yes, Sir. But I think if there was a little more ‘Request,’ and a
little less ‘Order,’ it would be—(a-hcm)—-better!” _
THE BENEFIT OF THE ACT.
The Lessee, Manager, and Leading Actor—in fact, the “Boss” of the Lyceum, has already
announced to the public that he intends to take a Benefit. Why ? Every performance at his
own theatre is for his benefit. If a season has been a very bad one, and a Manager appeals
to the Public to assist him in his pecuniary difficulty, such a case might be considered one of
real distress, and an appeal ad misericordiam would, no doubt, meet with a sufficiently
hearty response from the charitable theatre-goers, out of admiration of the man as an Actor,
and out of pity for him as an unfortunate speculator who had. done all in his power to
deserve success. Of course we would do our best to “get up a Benefit” for a “Poor
Player ” whose ill-health prevented him from earning his livelihood by the exercise of his
profession ; but Actors in the position of the Lessee of the Lyceum would not care to appeal
to the Public on the ground of being very “ poor players”—in any sense. Last year, through
the liberality of the Public, we were enabled to assist the poor London school-children to
several Days in the Country. If the London Manager-Actor wants his little holiday, he can
take it, and can turn his “ Day in the Country” to pretty good account, as there will be
scarcely a single provincial town which, besides paying him handsomely for his performances,
will not also give him a ‘‘ bumper at parting,” by way of a Benefit. This Avas all very well in the
time of the Crummies family, when receipts
were precarious, and the unfortunate
strollers depended on their “ bespeaks.”
But the status of the professional Actor has
advanced since then, and going round with
the hat should be beneath the dignity ol
our leading Actors and Actresses.
Our “ Lazy Minstrel” writes to say that
he should very much like to take a Benefit,
and of course our other Contributors will
follow suit. Why doesn’t Sir Frederick
Leighton or Mr. Millais take a Benefit r
Mr. Bancroft, as Lessee and Manager,
is, we believe, an honourable exception to
the Benefit system, and we trust, in the
social interests of the Profession, other
leading Actors and Managers will follow his
example.
IDYLS OF AN OPTIMIST;
Or, Carols in Couleur-de-Rose.
II.—A Noble Savage.
Warble not in soft iambics
Of the simple Cherokee,
Dally not in dithyrambics
With the flesh-pots of Fiji.
All that Patagonian prank meant,
Every game by Carib play’d ;
Bludson, of the Thames Embankment,
Wholly puts into the shade.
Bludson might inspire a Cooper,
Bludson might impress a Pope ;
He’s as stalwart as a trooper,
Could with sturdiest Navvy cope.
In his unsophisticated
Simple savagery he ’ll lurk
For the wayfarer belated,
And that wanderer brain or burke.
He will slily steal behind him,
Like Red-Indian on the trail,
He will bash, and bruise, and blind him
Kicks will shower, thumps will hail,
Tomahawking, knifing, clubbing,
Bludson’s humour does not suit;
He delivers mortal drubbing,
With the buckle or the boot.
Weapons he, the wild predacious
Pleasing product of the Town,
Finds extremely efficacious,
Constable—or Avife—to “ down.”
For this rude, robust, Rob-Roy-isb
Calm contemner of the law.
Finds a pleasure frankly boyish
In belabouring his squaw.
Instincts shy and yet gregarious
Move this modern Choctaw’s souL
Whether on a jaunt burglarious,
Or a homicidal stroll.
For the artifice of “ ganging ”
Greatly simplifies the job
Of bestowing a safe banging
On the man he’d maul or rob.
Nor are Lambeth’s banks inferior*
In facilities for Bludson, _
To the shores of Lake Superior
Or the valley of the Hudson.
Wild in wood the noble savage
Ran,—or so the singers say ;
Bludson too can run, and raArage,
Quite as wild in Tiger Bay.
Let us then be glad and gleesome
That the “noble savage ” sort
Civilisation’s ruthless besom
Hath not swept from slum and court:
That to murder, mcim and rob, is
Recreation safe for all;
Whilst we’ve Bludson and such Bobbies,
Why should modern times sing small ?
Dog-dats! pooh! Dogs-and-Cats-days,
if Rain is to count for anything.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[Jolt 29, 1882.
REGIMENTAL
Volunteer Captain. “Ah, Sergeant Jones—didn’t I send you an Order to be at
Headquarters on Monday, at Nine o’Clook, avith a Corporal and Six Men for Doty?”
Sergeant. “Yes, Sir. But I think if there was a little more ‘Request,’ and a
little less ‘Order,’ it would be—(a-hcm)—-better!” _
THE BENEFIT OF THE ACT.
The Lessee, Manager, and Leading Actor—in fact, the “Boss” of the Lyceum, has already
announced to the public that he intends to take a Benefit. Why ? Every performance at his
own theatre is for his benefit. If a season has been a very bad one, and a Manager appeals
to the Public to assist him in his pecuniary difficulty, such a case might be considered one of
real distress, and an appeal ad misericordiam would, no doubt, meet with a sufficiently
hearty response from the charitable theatre-goers, out of admiration of the man as an Actor,
and out of pity for him as an unfortunate speculator who had. done all in his power to
deserve success. Of course we would do our best to “get up a Benefit” for a “Poor
Player ” whose ill-health prevented him from earning his livelihood by the exercise of his
profession ; but Actors in the position of the Lessee of the Lyceum would not care to appeal
to the Public on the ground of being very “ poor players”—in any sense. Last year, through
the liberality of the Public, we were enabled to assist the poor London school-children to
several Days in the Country. If the London Manager-Actor wants his little holiday, he can
take it, and can turn his “ Day in the Country” to pretty good account, as there will be
scarcely a single provincial town which, besides paying him handsomely for his performances,
will not also give him a ‘‘ bumper at parting,” by way of a Benefit. This Avas all very well in the
time of the Crummies family, when receipts
were precarious, and the unfortunate
strollers depended on their “ bespeaks.”
But the status of the professional Actor has
advanced since then, and going round with
the hat should be beneath the dignity ol
our leading Actors and Actresses.
Our “ Lazy Minstrel” writes to say that
he should very much like to take a Benefit,
and of course our other Contributors will
follow suit. Why doesn’t Sir Frederick
Leighton or Mr. Millais take a Benefit r
Mr. Bancroft, as Lessee and Manager,
is, we believe, an honourable exception to
the Benefit system, and we trust, in the
social interests of the Profession, other
leading Actors and Managers will follow his
example.
IDYLS OF AN OPTIMIST;
Or, Carols in Couleur-de-Rose.
II.—A Noble Savage.
Warble not in soft iambics
Of the simple Cherokee,
Dally not in dithyrambics
With the flesh-pots of Fiji.
All that Patagonian prank meant,
Every game by Carib play’d ;
Bludson, of the Thames Embankment,
Wholly puts into the shade.
Bludson might inspire a Cooper,
Bludson might impress a Pope ;
He’s as stalwart as a trooper,
Could with sturdiest Navvy cope.
In his unsophisticated
Simple savagery he ’ll lurk
For the wayfarer belated,
And that wanderer brain or burke.
He will slily steal behind him,
Like Red-Indian on the trail,
He will bash, and bruise, and blind him
Kicks will shower, thumps will hail,
Tomahawking, knifing, clubbing,
Bludson’s humour does not suit;
He delivers mortal drubbing,
With the buckle or the boot.
Weapons he, the wild predacious
Pleasing product of the Town,
Finds extremely efficacious,
Constable—or Avife—to “ down.”
For this rude, robust, Rob-Roy-isb
Calm contemner of the law.
Finds a pleasure frankly boyish
In belabouring his squaw.
Instincts shy and yet gregarious
Move this modern Choctaw’s souL
Whether on a jaunt burglarious,
Or a homicidal stroll.
For the artifice of “ ganging ”
Greatly simplifies the job
Of bestowing a safe banging
On the man he’d maul or rob.
Nor are Lambeth’s banks inferior*
In facilities for Bludson, _
To the shores of Lake Superior
Or the valley of the Hudson.
Wild in wood the noble savage
Ran,—or so the singers say ;
Bludson too can run, and raArage,
Quite as wild in Tiger Bay.
Let us then be glad and gleesome
That the “noble savage ” sort
Civilisation’s ruthless besom
Hath not swept from slum and court:
That to murder, mcim and rob, is
Recreation safe for all;
Whilst we’ve Bludson and such Bobbies,
Why should modern times sing small ?
Dog-dats! pooh! Dogs-and-Cats-days,
if Rain is to count for anything.