DOI Heft:
August 5, 1882
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17753#0057
August 5, 1882.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
49
A HINT.
Sir Pompey Bedell. “ Oh—er—Mr. Grigsby, I think ! How d ’ye do ? ”
Grigsby. “ I hope I see you well, Sir Pompey. And next Time you
give me Two Fingers, I’m blest ie I don’t pull ’em off ! ”
“ROBERT” AT WAN STEAD PARK.
If anybody as is jest a little tired of the bussell and the scrowging and the
pushing and the noise of Cheapside, and of the Poultry on Cornhill, wants a
thurro change, he hasn’t far for to go for to find it, thanks agin to the grand
Old Copperashun, as is alius a-doing sumthink or other for a ungreatfool Public.
And should any right honnerrabble members of the wenerable Ouse of Lords as
happens to live in the naybrood of White Chapel, and is over fatigued with the
hawfool amount of work as they has to do daily every night, pine for a change,
jest like a poor devil of a Raddical, he can alius get it in sumthink less than no
time. For instance, he can take the Tram and go for thrippence to Layton
Stone, and then go as Straight as Douglas till he comes to a Green Man’s Pond,
and then on till he cums to the Manshun House of the last of the Alldermen,
Allderman Finis, and then go over the left and fust to yer right and there you
are, at the entrance to Wonsted Park Plezzur Grounds. You ’ve no occashun to
nock at the dore. because it’s only a Gate, but in you gos in yer own rite, like a
blooming Free Holder, and you walks rite on till you comes to the Temple, not
like the Temple in Fleet St coz there ain’t no Lawyers, and not like the Temple
on the Oben Wired nek coz there ain’t no Parker, but only a most quiet and
respectable Keeper of the name of Puff’em, so there is a sort of family likeness
in all three after all.
Having paid yer respecs to Mr. Puffem, you takes the parth to your rite
and you comes in about 10 minnits to what I feels inclined to call about the
thirteenth wundur of the World, reckning Happy Roastweal Gardens as about
the twelf, and that is the wundurfullest Grot Oh ! in Yourrope ! I saw at once
by his new unyform and his sollem demeaner that Mr. Puffem is a man of the
strictest werassity, or I shoulc^have been inclined to dout him wen he told me it
was all bilt by a Lady, and that it cost her jest fifty thousand pound ! It
seems a lot of money, but if it is all bilt of preshus stones, as Mr. Puffem says,
we knows as dimonds and them sort of things does run into a lot. However be
that as it may, I quite agrees with a rayther exsited Koster Monger who said,
with ravther unnecessary wigger of langwidge, that with that Grot Oh ! for his
crib and them perch yjonds for his fish in, he shouldn’t want any other pair-o’-
dice. Ah ! them’s somethink like Fish Ponds them is, why, Mr. Puffem acshally
told me, with that sollem look of his, that sumtimes of a evening the Fish is a-jump-
ing about, and a-splashing about to that extent, that you’d think as there was a
lot of boys a-bathing there! And he looks at you so serious
that you carnt carp at his Fish stories. When he’s
crammed you full of Fish, then he begins about Poachers.
8omethink like Poachers, too, them is. Why, the fust
thing as they poached drecly he was apointed, but before
he had his new Unyform, was all the led off the roof of
the Grot Oh ! That wasn’t bad for a beginning. The nex
thing as they poached wasn’t eggs, as I naterally thort
when he asked, me to guess, but about 36 duzzen of
butiful white water lilies. And think of their hartfulness
in getting at ’em. As the lillies was in the middle of
the Lake, they strips theirselves to their skins for fear
of wetting theirselves, and then boldly plunges in up to
their nees in water, and higher than that, and carries
’em ashore, hoping to sell ’em at the Market price of
four shillings a duzzen. But a eye was a-watching on
’em as they couldn’t see, tho’ he had his new Unyform
on, and the Perlease siezed ’em in their unperteefed
condition, lit’rally catching ’em in the naked lac, when
of course they couldn’t run away, and the awful wengence
of the Lor come down on ’em to the extent of twelve
shillings!
Well, I have in my long egsperiense seen about as
many butiful places as most Waiters. I’ve seen old
Woxhall Gardens, and Wite Cundit House, and Ornsey
Wood, and Iberry Barn, but I haven’t the least esitation
in giving the Parm Tree to Wonsted. Of course there’s
a intire absense of those elewating amusements, such
as Swings and settrer, in which the nobel BrittishPublick
takes such grate delight, tho’, judging from what has
been dun in Epping Forrest in that line, we may hope in
a werry short time to have even them, but for those who
can manage to spend a few ours in the butiful pure
hair without ’em, there isn’t a lovelier spot for rest and
quiet and peaceful injoyment, than Wonsted Park.
And how strange to think, as Mr. Puffem told us,
that if these butiful grounds bad not once blonged, about
a hundred years ago, to one of the greatest scamps in
Yourrope, who married the pore gal who owned ’em for
her money, and then broke her heart by his unkind-
ness and neglec, the Copperashun would never have been
abel to buy Am for the use and enjoyment of the Public.
One thing as struck me harder p’raps than it would
strike nonperfeshunals, is the hutter habsence of wittles I
Brown says as how even the Copperashun wants a little
rest now and then for the Stummick’s sake, and so on
them occasions they cums down here and inwardly digests
plenty of fresh hair, and then goes back to the place
from whence they came, like giants refreshed.
I’m afraid Brown ain’t got no reverence. In fac he
confesses as much, for I’ve herd him say that “ no Man’s
a Nero either to his Wally or his Waiter.” -p
SEA-SIDE-SPLITTERS.
By Dumb-Crambo Junior.
Barque outside the ’Arbour.
Tide Running in Fast.
Breakers.
49
A HINT.
Sir Pompey Bedell. “ Oh—er—Mr. Grigsby, I think ! How d ’ye do ? ”
Grigsby. “ I hope I see you well, Sir Pompey. And next Time you
give me Two Fingers, I’m blest ie I don’t pull ’em off ! ”
“ROBERT” AT WAN STEAD PARK.
If anybody as is jest a little tired of the bussell and the scrowging and the
pushing and the noise of Cheapside, and of the Poultry on Cornhill, wants a
thurro change, he hasn’t far for to go for to find it, thanks agin to the grand
Old Copperashun, as is alius a-doing sumthink or other for a ungreatfool Public.
And should any right honnerrabble members of the wenerable Ouse of Lords as
happens to live in the naybrood of White Chapel, and is over fatigued with the
hawfool amount of work as they has to do daily every night, pine for a change,
jest like a poor devil of a Raddical, he can alius get it in sumthink less than no
time. For instance, he can take the Tram and go for thrippence to Layton
Stone, and then go as Straight as Douglas till he comes to a Green Man’s Pond,
and then on till he cums to the Manshun House of the last of the Alldermen,
Allderman Finis, and then go over the left and fust to yer right and there you
are, at the entrance to Wonsted Park Plezzur Grounds. You ’ve no occashun to
nock at the dore. because it’s only a Gate, but in you gos in yer own rite, like a
blooming Free Holder, and you walks rite on till you comes to the Temple, not
like the Temple in Fleet St coz there ain’t no Lawyers, and not like the Temple
on the Oben Wired nek coz there ain’t no Parker, but only a most quiet and
respectable Keeper of the name of Puff’em, so there is a sort of family likeness
in all three after all.
Having paid yer respecs to Mr. Puffem, you takes the parth to your rite
and you comes in about 10 minnits to what I feels inclined to call about the
thirteenth wundur of the World, reckning Happy Roastweal Gardens as about
the twelf, and that is the wundurfullest Grot Oh ! in Yourrope ! I saw at once
by his new unyform and his sollem demeaner that Mr. Puffem is a man of the
strictest werassity, or I shoulc^have been inclined to dout him wen he told me it
was all bilt by a Lady, and that it cost her jest fifty thousand pound ! It
seems a lot of money, but if it is all bilt of preshus stones, as Mr. Puffem says,
we knows as dimonds and them sort of things does run into a lot. However be
that as it may, I quite agrees with a rayther exsited Koster Monger who said,
with ravther unnecessary wigger of langwidge, that with that Grot Oh ! for his
crib and them perch yjonds for his fish in, he shouldn’t want any other pair-o’-
dice. Ah ! them’s somethink like Fish Ponds them is, why, Mr. Puffem acshally
told me, with that sollem look of his, that sumtimes of a evening the Fish is a-jump-
ing about, and a-splashing about to that extent, that you’d think as there was a
lot of boys a-bathing there! And he looks at you so serious
that you carnt carp at his Fish stories. When he’s
crammed you full of Fish, then he begins about Poachers.
8omethink like Poachers, too, them is. Why, the fust
thing as they poached drecly he was apointed, but before
he had his new Unyform, was all the led off the roof of
the Grot Oh ! That wasn’t bad for a beginning. The nex
thing as they poached wasn’t eggs, as I naterally thort
when he asked, me to guess, but about 36 duzzen of
butiful white water lilies. And think of their hartfulness
in getting at ’em. As the lillies was in the middle of
the Lake, they strips theirselves to their skins for fear
of wetting theirselves, and then boldly plunges in up to
their nees in water, and higher than that, and carries
’em ashore, hoping to sell ’em at the Market price of
four shillings a duzzen. But a eye was a-watching on
’em as they couldn’t see, tho’ he had his new Unyform
on, and the Perlease siezed ’em in their unperteefed
condition, lit’rally catching ’em in the naked lac, when
of course they couldn’t run away, and the awful wengence
of the Lor come down on ’em to the extent of twelve
shillings!
Well, I have in my long egsperiense seen about as
many butiful places as most Waiters. I’ve seen old
Woxhall Gardens, and Wite Cundit House, and Ornsey
Wood, and Iberry Barn, but I haven’t the least esitation
in giving the Parm Tree to Wonsted. Of course there’s
a intire absense of those elewating amusements, such
as Swings and settrer, in which the nobel BrittishPublick
takes such grate delight, tho’, judging from what has
been dun in Epping Forrest in that line, we may hope in
a werry short time to have even them, but for those who
can manage to spend a few ours in the butiful pure
hair without ’em, there isn’t a lovelier spot for rest and
quiet and peaceful injoyment, than Wonsted Park.
And how strange to think, as Mr. Puffem told us,
that if these butiful grounds bad not once blonged, about
a hundred years ago, to one of the greatest scamps in
Yourrope, who married the pore gal who owned ’em for
her money, and then broke her heart by his unkind-
ness and neglec, the Copperashun would never have been
abel to buy Am for the use and enjoyment of the Public.
One thing as struck me harder p’raps than it would
strike nonperfeshunals, is the hutter habsence of wittles I
Brown says as how even the Copperashun wants a little
rest now and then for the Stummick’s sake, and so on
them occasions they cums down here and inwardly digests
plenty of fresh hair, and then goes back to the place
from whence they came, like giants refreshed.
I’m afraid Brown ain’t got no reverence. In fac he
confesses as much, for I’ve herd him say that “ no Man’s
a Nero either to his Wally or his Waiter.” -p
SEA-SIDE-SPLITTERS.
By Dumb-Crambo Junior.
Barque outside the ’Arbour.
Tide Running in Fast.
Breakers.