Punch: Punch (83.1882)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

61

SOME PEOPLE ARE SO LITERAL!

“Oh yes! I was at Brown’s Wedding. I was Best Man. Saw him
Married to the Sweetest and Loveliest Girl I know, with a Couple of
Thousand a year of her own, and then started them on a Six Months’
Tour through Europe. Lucky Dog ! I could have Throttled him ! ”

Throttled' him, Mr. Jones! And all because a great piece of
Good Fortune has happened to him ! You surprise and shock m« ! ”

MOSSOO ON THE MOOR.

We ’re glorious with, guns and with, gaiters,

And our buckles are many and bright;

And it’s Chevet, proud Chevet, who caters,

And ce cher Jules has sent the invite !

He has sent the invite from his chateau—

Ten rooms in the last stucco style,

Hemmed in on the trite Meudon plateau
By others for many a mile.

There are ladies, Parisian Dianas,

Attired, par mafoi, just like us ;

There ’s a Yankee from Southern Savannahs ;

There’s a terribly civilised Russ ;

Their Lefaucheux with pearls are encrusted,

And in satin high-heeled boots they tramp
Over fields that are carefully dusted,

And through woods wrapt in wool against damp.

And we start, as we say, at the dawning,

That is somewhere about half-past nine,
Distressfully stretching and yawning,

In spite of the nips of white wine.

There are few who at this moment care to
Exhibit those beaux coups which cbarm;—

There’s a bird every half-mile, and there, to»,

Is also the genial gendarme.

But it’s after that free noontide gouter—

True chasseurs need plentiful feeds—

We show to all-governing Beauty
What marksmen our modern France breeds.

The halt in each green Summer glade is
A pretext for paying one’s court,

And lupins are less killed than ladies
In this gallant G alii can sport.

Pour wot, I knocked over, ere breakfast,

The Baronne—she ’s so fat, but likes fun ;

My seventh shot drove Cupid’s stake fast
Into the prized heart of Someone—

That Someone we seek with unflagging
Desire to attain gold we lack ;

I may not be trop bien at bagging,

At least I have conquered “ le sac."

A LITTLE NEDDY AND A BIG “G”;

OR, THE SOLOMON-GRUNDI OPERA.

Mr. Sydney Grundy’s motto evidently is, “ If you want a thing
well done, don’t do it yourself.” He acts accordingly, and the Vicar

of Bray is the consequence.
Mr. Grundy felt called upon
to write a Comic Opera ; he
ransacked his imagination
without finding anything
which made the search re-
munerative ; and so, not
being a man to be put down
by such trifles as absence of
original ideas concerning
incident or character, he
turned to see what he could
borrow from his predecessors.
The result is a “new and
original ” Comic Opera with
about as much claim to new-
ness and originality as the
shadow of the moon, reflected
in a perturbed and. weedy duck-pond, would have title to be regarded
as a new and original planet.

Mr. Grundy’s Yiear bears a strong family resemblance to an eccle-
siastic who did duty for Mr. Gilbert in The Sorcerer. That
Wear suffered from the attentions of a mature female, and so,
oddly enough, does Mr. Grundy’s Yiear. And is Mr. Grundy quite
sure that in making Sand ford a highly moral Curate, and Merton a
festive countryman, he is strictly on new and original ground ?
Does memory deceive us ? Do our eyes play us false when we enter
a bookseller’s shop or pass a railway book-stall ? or is there a Comic
History of Sandford and Merton, from which these characters, with
ten or twelve years added to them, are plagiarised ? Then, again,
the Solicitor, Mr. Bedford Rowe, is he not an old acquaintance ?
The Huntsmen—are they not the dragoons in Patience, and is not

~h "Sk"

The Vigour of Bray.

the very same stage-business, when the girls enter, preserved ? As
for the Chorus of Schoolmasters, let justice be done to Mr. Sydney
Grundy. He has not borrowed them from Mr. Gilbert. No one
can accuse him of that; for they are borrowed from Lecocq’s Les
Pres St. Gervais, an adaptation of which was once given at the
Criterion Theatre. These things being so. what becomes of the
newness and originality of The Vicar of Bray ? At all events,
there is very little evidence in it of the vigour of brains.

Theologians, who are familiar with the Thirty-Nine Articles, who
have a knowledge of Tracts for the Times, and possess an intimate
acquaintance with Essays and Reviews, may detect the humour
of the Yicar’s changes of opinions and mutations from High Church
to Low, and from Low to Broad; but if the Author is abstruse here,
he makes up for it by sending out his Curate Sandford as a Mis-
sionary. Will anyone be surprised to hear that what is tendered as
a quaint conceit in this new and original Comic Opera, is the
reported destruction of Sandford by cannibals, who draw the line at
the Missionary’s hymn-book, after devouring him ? Mr. Grundy
may indeed claim his heroine as his own. Dorothy has this novel
trait about her, that, whereas heroines almost invariably have some
distinguishing feature, she has none.

The playing of the piece is in no way remarkable. Mr. Hill is an
exponent of what may be called the subdued horse-collar style of
humour. There is no assumption of character in his performance of
the Yiear. Mr. Hill plays Mr. Hill as usual; but, fortunately for
the player, there are those who find his manner comic. Mr. Penley
has more point, and with it he extracts such good things as his
Author has provided. The heroine, on the other hand, speaks her
lines so badly, that, at first, the credulous hearer is led to suppose
that this is the joke of the piece, and that the Chorus of Schoolmasters
are going to take the young lady in hand ; for a few lessons in pro-
nunciation and emphasis would obviously be of service. Mr. Solom on’s
new and original music to the Opera includes some rather taking
tunes that have been admired for many years past; from which it
will be understood that they are not quite so new and original as
they were formerly ; but this is the way with tunes, sometimes,
—specially with “ taking ” tunes—and with libretti likewise.