DOI Heft:
November 25, 1882
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17753#0247
——-- j
November 25, 1882.] PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 241
FROM OTJR OWN SATURDAY REVIEWER.
SUNDAY BLOSSOMS AT THE TEMPLE.
First to the Church, where the Choir a nice Anthem hums ;
Then to the Gardens, to see the Chrysanthemums !
What a day for a Review! As your Own Saturday
Reviewer I started early in a fog'.
0 that fog! I lost my way, and it was only owing to my
having an excellent ear for music that I detected “ God
Save the Queen ” in five different keys, played simul-
taneously in the distance, and regardless of obstruction,
I charged the crowd, the sentries at the Horse Guards
saluted me, and I arrived just in time to wave my hat to
Her Gracious Majesty, as the curtain of fog drew up,
the sunlight was turned on, and the scene presented a
spectacle which I shall never forget, and cannot at this
moment, after a beautiful luncheon with a hospitable
friend, exactly remember.
We had first of all oysters—no, I mean Sir Garnet
Wolseley—then soup (oh, how famished I was !)—then
General Drury Lowe and Colonel Ewart—then there
was a salmi of game and first-rate Pommery—but you ’ll
excuse me, I’m sure, if, at this late hour, I somewhat
mix up a sumptuous meal, which was dinner, breakfast,
and luncheon all in one, with the march past. It is an
exceptional day—I wish there were more exceptional
days. I stood next to a well-informed individual, who
was always pointing out the wrong person, until I could
stand it no longer, and chose my own men out of the lot,
and said, authoritatively to the bystanders, “ That is
Sir Garnet!” and “ That is Sir Evelyn!” Then the
bystanders cheered loudly, and the two Generals or
Colonels, whatever they were whom 1 had selected for this
honour, were immensely pleased with the reception. Ho
matter, I dare say they deserved what they got, and am
glad they liked it.
How the brave commanders shouted ! “ By your right
—forward ! ’’—infantry and cavalry alike were such very
hoarse guards ! The Marines were then led by the Ultra
Marines mounted ; and the Naval Contingent shared the
nopularity of the hour with the Seaforth Highlanders.
The Confiding Bystanders listened to Your Own Saturday
Reviewer with awe, and wiped tears from their eyes as I
raised my hat to the various colours. It has been a grand
day—I write this as I know you are going to Press
within five minutes—and my messmates are waiting for
me to return to the festive board, to return thanks for
the Army and Navy for ever, and three cheers for the
Red, White and Blue !—Your Own S. R.
PROGRAMME EOR THE OPENING OP THE NEW
LAW COURTS.
Sir,—On the Second of next month, Her Most Gracious Majesty
has intimated her intention of opening the Royal Palace of Justice.
Up to the present moment nothing has been arranged to make the
visit of our Sovereign to the building a pleasant one. Surely this is
a reproach to a Profession which numbers in its ranks Statesmen,
Scientists, and Men of Letters,—a Profession which, in fact, is
eminently associated with all that is intellectual. There is a gap
which requires filling. Will you allow me, as a sort of forensic
Curtius, to jump into the gap and supply the deficiency F
I would propose something like the following programme. Let us
imagine that Her Majesty is seated in the central hall, surrounded
by all her Courts (inclusive, of course, of the “ Q. B. D.” and the
Court of Appeal), and she signifies her gracious consent that the
sports should commence. Here follow the entertainments:—
Item 1.—Preliminary Chorus, “It is Our Opening Day” by the
whole Profession, Trebles by the Junior Branch—the Solicitors ;
tenors and basses by the Bar, and solos by the Judges.
Item 2.-—Character Song, by Mr. Justice Huddlestone
“ When I see a Duchess seated on the Bench,
I smile to her, and how to her—so ! ”
Item 3.—Athletic Exercise on the Supported Plank, by the Masters
of the Bench of the Hon. Society of Gray’s Inn.
Item 4.—Transformation Dance, by Sir William Yernon Har-
court, in which he will appear in the characters of an Attorney-
General, a Home Secretary, and (lastly) the Lord Chancellor.
Item 5.—Ballet d' Action by Counsel, and Solos for the Plaintiff and
Defendant.
Item 6.—Grand Military Erncise, by the Serjeants. Drill Instruc-
tor, Major-Gen. Sir Evelyn Wood, Barrister-at-Law.
Item 7.—Melancholy Ballad, by Mr. Justice Day (dedicated to
IvNlGHT-Mayor)
“ I dreamt that I dwelt in Westminster Hall,
With counsel and clients by my si-a-hide !”
Item 8.—Bacchanalian Chorus, by the Bad Templars (so-called, t°
distinguish them from the Good). _ |
Item 9.—Grand Washing competition by the Laundresses of Lin-
coin’s Inn, who will practically illustrate the mode of getting a
pair of bands into Chancery.
Item 10.—Recitation, “ The Charge of the Costs Brigade,” by the
Taxing-Master.
Item 11.—Roaring Comic Song, by an Oxford Undergraduate
entered at one of the Inns of Court:—
“I’m reading for the Bar, I ’m reading for the Bar,
Three days each Term
In London firm.
When I’m reading for the Bar ! ”
Item 12, and last.—Imposing Einale. The Profession practising on
the Public.
There, Sir, surely something like the above ought to do ! Of
course it is merely a rough sketch, which might he filled in by those
it most, concerns. For instance, if Sir Henry Hawkins could be
prevailed upon to show his strength as a hanging Judge, the pro-
gramme would be greatly improved. Again, if some of the Old
Bailey Solors led their Counsel a pretty dance to get their fees, the
measure would no doubt have its interest with a portion of the com-
munity. Once more : a leading advocate might practically illustrate
the feat of personally conducting four separate cases in four sepa-
rate Courts at the same time while actually present personally con-
ducting a fifth case in a fifth Court. And so on, and so on. The
whole might conclude with a grand distribution of largesse in the
shape of pass-certificates given by the Bar Examiners to Students
who had been plucked more than seven times.
Trusting that my suggestions may be accepted and adopted by the
Authorities in the spirit in which they are tendered,
I remain yours leisurely, Briefless, Jun.
Never too Late.—Miss Kelly, the veteran Actress, aged ninety-
three, has received, through the exertions of Mr. Charles Kent, a
State grant of a hundred and fifty pounds. This would be a real
good case for a Benefit, eh, Benedick f
Vol. 83.
8—2
November 25, 1882.] PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 241
FROM OTJR OWN SATURDAY REVIEWER.
SUNDAY BLOSSOMS AT THE TEMPLE.
First to the Church, where the Choir a nice Anthem hums ;
Then to the Gardens, to see the Chrysanthemums !
What a day for a Review! As your Own Saturday
Reviewer I started early in a fog'.
0 that fog! I lost my way, and it was only owing to my
having an excellent ear for music that I detected “ God
Save the Queen ” in five different keys, played simul-
taneously in the distance, and regardless of obstruction,
I charged the crowd, the sentries at the Horse Guards
saluted me, and I arrived just in time to wave my hat to
Her Gracious Majesty, as the curtain of fog drew up,
the sunlight was turned on, and the scene presented a
spectacle which I shall never forget, and cannot at this
moment, after a beautiful luncheon with a hospitable
friend, exactly remember.
We had first of all oysters—no, I mean Sir Garnet
Wolseley—then soup (oh, how famished I was !)—then
General Drury Lowe and Colonel Ewart—then there
was a salmi of game and first-rate Pommery—but you ’ll
excuse me, I’m sure, if, at this late hour, I somewhat
mix up a sumptuous meal, which was dinner, breakfast,
and luncheon all in one, with the march past. It is an
exceptional day—I wish there were more exceptional
days. I stood next to a well-informed individual, who
was always pointing out the wrong person, until I could
stand it no longer, and chose my own men out of the lot,
and said, authoritatively to the bystanders, “ That is
Sir Garnet!” and “ That is Sir Evelyn!” Then the
bystanders cheered loudly, and the two Generals or
Colonels, whatever they were whom 1 had selected for this
honour, were immensely pleased with the reception. Ho
matter, I dare say they deserved what they got, and am
glad they liked it.
How the brave commanders shouted ! “ By your right
—forward ! ’’—infantry and cavalry alike were such very
hoarse guards ! The Marines were then led by the Ultra
Marines mounted ; and the Naval Contingent shared the
nopularity of the hour with the Seaforth Highlanders.
The Confiding Bystanders listened to Your Own Saturday
Reviewer with awe, and wiped tears from their eyes as I
raised my hat to the various colours. It has been a grand
day—I write this as I know you are going to Press
within five minutes—and my messmates are waiting for
me to return to the festive board, to return thanks for
the Army and Navy for ever, and three cheers for the
Red, White and Blue !—Your Own S. R.
PROGRAMME EOR THE OPENING OP THE NEW
LAW COURTS.
Sir,—On the Second of next month, Her Most Gracious Majesty
has intimated her intention of opening the Royal Palace of Justice.
Up to the present moment nothing has been arranged to make the
visit of our Sovereign to the building a pleasant one. Surely this is
a reproach to a Profession which numbers in its ranks Statesmen,
Scientists, and Men of Letters,—a Profession which, in fact, is
eminently associated with all that is intellectual. There is a gap
which requires filling. Will you allow me, as a sort of forensic
Curtius, to jump into the gap and supply the deficiency F
I would propose something like the following programme. Let us
imagine that Her Majesty is seated in the central hall, surrounded
by all her Courts (inclusive, of course, of the “ Q. B. D.” and the
Court of Appeal), and she signifies her gracious consent that the
sports should commence. Here follow the entertainments:—
Item 1.—Preliminary Chorus, “It is Our Opening Day” by the
whole Profession, Trebles by the Junior Branch—the Solicitors ;
tenors and basses by the Bar, and solos by the Judges.
Item 2.-—Character Song, by Mr. Justice Huddlestone
“ When I see a Duchess seated on the Bench,
I smile to her, and how to her—so ! ”
Item 3.—Athletic Exercise on the Supported Plank, by the Masters
of the Bench of the Hon. Society of Gray’s Inn.
Item 4.—Transformation Dance, by Sir William Yernon Har-
court, in which he will appear in the characters of an Attorney-
General, a Home Secretary, and (lastly) the Lord Chancellor.
Item 5.—Ballet d' Action by Counsel, and Solos for the Plaintiff and
Defendant.
Item 6.—Grand Military Erncise, by the Serjeants. Drill Instruc-
tor, Major-Gen. Sir Evelyn Wood, Barrister-at-Law.
Item 7.—Melancholy Ballad, by Mr. Justice Day (dedicated to
IvNlGHT-Mayor)
“ I dreamt that I dwelt in Westminster Hall,
With counsel and clients by my si-a-hide !”
Item 8.—Bacchanalian Chorus, by the Bad Templars (so-called, t°
distinguish them from the Good). _ |
Item 9.—Grand Washing competition by the Laundresses of Lin-
coin’s Inn, who will practically illustrate the mode of getting a
pair of bands into Chancery.
Item 10.—Recitation, “ The Charge of the Costs Brigade,” by the
Taxing-Master.
Item 11.—Roaring Comic Song, by an Oxford Undergraduate
entered at one of the Inns of Court:—
“I’m reading for the Bar, I ’m reading for the Bar,
Three days each Term
In London firm.
When I’m reading for the Bar ! ”
Item 12, and last.—Imposing Einale. The Profession practising on
the Public.
There, Sir, surely something like the above ought to do ! Of
course it is merely a rough sketch, which might he filled in by those
it most, concerns. For instance, if Sir Henry Hawkins could be
prevailed upon to show his strength as a hanging Judge, the pro-
gramme would be greatly improved. Again, if some of the Old
Bailey Solors led their Counsel a pretty dance to get their fees, the
measure would no doubt have its interest with a portion of the com-
munity. Once more : a leading advocate might practically illustrate
the feat of personally conducting four separate cases in four sepa-
rate Courts at the same time while actually present personally con-
ducting a fifth case in a fifth Court. And so on, and so on. The
whole might conclude with a grand distribution of largesse in the
shape of pass-certificates given by the Bar Examiners to Students
who had been plucked more than seven times.
Trusting that my suggestions may be accepted and adopted by the
Authorities in the spirit in which they are tendered,
I remain yours leisurely, Briefless, Jun.
Never too Late.—Miss Kelly, the veteran Actress, aged ninety-
three, has received, through the exertions of Mr. Charles Kent, a
State grant of a hundred and fifty pounds. This would be a real
good case for a Benefit, eh, Benedick f
Vol. 83.
8—2