DOI issue:
August 5, 1882
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17753#0058
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50
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 5, 1882.
“EGYPTIAN PREFERENCE l ”
THE CHAMPIONS OE CHRISTENDOM.
“ So they have left me to save her alone ! ” exclaimed Sir John of Merry England. “ This,
after all the Frenchman’s protestations and all the Italian’s bluster. But what matters it F
Gladstonius, my armour ! ”
Upon this, the brave knight’s Squire, after a great deal of fuss and confusion (for
Gladstonius was a procrastinating person), buckled on his master’s sword and iron plates.
And when this had been done, Sir John hurried away to Alexandria, to rescue Egypt, the
Fairest of the Fair, from Arabi the Dragon.
When Arabi saw Sir John approaching, he indulged in the most ridiculous demonstra-
tions of impotent rage and feeble defiance.
“ Very good ! ” said the Champion of Merry England. “ I will teach you a lesson, my
fine fellow, that shall last you your life. This will I do, not only in my own interests, but
for the benefit of the brothers who have deserted me ! ”
And the brave knight drew his sword, poised his lance, and made ready to begin.
“ Stay a moment, I beg you ! ” said a fat, sleek, fawning sort of person, whose apparel was
as seedy as his appearance was unprepossessing. ‘ ‘ You do things in such a very hurried manner.”
“ Who are you ? ” was the natural ques-
tion of Sir John.
“I am the Sultan Slyboots,” replied
the fat, fawning creature, “ and I am the
father of Egypt, the Fairest of the Fair.”
“Then if you are her Father, you will
approve of my intentions ? Stand aside,
while I rescue her.”
‘‘ But let us chat it over a little. Who-
ever saves Egypt, the Fairest of the Fair,
will have a right to claim her. Surely,
this seems just; do you not think so ? ”
“ Let me save her first,” said Sir John
“and we can settle the details afterwards.”
“ But it is so much better to talk. I am
very angry indeed with Arabi ; hut-”
“What has the Dragon dangling round
his neck?’’asked Sir John, sharply; “it
seems like a Turkish decoration.”
“Oh, yes!” returned the-Sultan Sly-
boots, with some confusion. “ It is a little-
toy I gave him to play with. But to return
to our talking-”
“I did not come here to talk,” inter-
rupted Sir John, “ but to fight! ”
“ If you would just wait, while I-”
“Why, you unnatural parent!” thun-
dered Sir John; “ I do declare you are
making signs to the Dragon while we are
talking! ”
“Surely, you are mistaken! My left
eye-lid frequently quivers unconsciously ! ”
But while Sultan Slyboots was explain-
ing how his eyelid had quivered, Sir John
poised his spear once more, and went for
the Dragon. Arabi uttered a loud howl,
and showed the White Flag, which bore
a remarkable resemblance to the White
Feather.
ODE ON A CLOSE PROSPECT OF
ETON COLLEGE.
[By a Gray-Headed Wet Bob.)
Ye crumbling spires, ye antique towers,— j
What, if ye were decayed !
What, if your fragments fell in showers
On Henry’s holy shade !*
And what, if o’er your cloister walls
Vague pencilled ornamental scrawls
Afforded mute display ;
Should Vandals, who all things renew,
Be down upon thy records too,
And sweep them clean away !
But, there !—with taste he calls “ correct,”
’Mid scenes of vanished days
Your gay restoring Architect
The very dickens plays !
Yet, as his brand-new work he vaunts,
He gives us for our treasured haunts
Red brick—and nothing more !
Which drives Wet Bob to stick to this,
“ Where crumbling memories are bliss,
’Tis folly to restore ! ”
* Wouldn’t “Edmund” be astonished if be
saw “Henry’s holy shad-” gliding into the
office like Margaret’s grim ghost! By the
way, “ Henry ” was at Eton, and as Gray's was
a prospective poem, the description might have
been prophetic.
A Friend from Rome informed Mrs.
Ramsbotham that among other things he
had recently seen Cardinal Layigerie take
possession of his titular church of “ St.
Agnes - Without - the - Walls.” “ ‘ Saint
Agnes without the Walls’!” exclaimed
Mrs. Ram. “How on earth is the roof
kept up F ” _
What we wish for our Policy in the
Land of the Pyramids.— Tin succes pyra-
mid ale.
50
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 5, 1882.
“EGYPTIAN PREFERENCE l ”
THE CHAMPIONS OE CHRISTENDOM.
“ So they have left me to save her alone ! ” exclaimed Sir John of Merry England. “ This,
after all the Frenchman’s protestations and all the Italian’s bluster. But what matters it F
Gladstonius, my armour ! ”
Upon this, the brave knight’s Squire, after a great deal of fuss and confusion (for
Gladstonius was a procrastinating person), buckled on his master’s sword and iron plates.
And when this had been done, Sir John hurried away to Alexandria, to rescue Egypt, the
Fairest of the Fair, from Arabi the Dragon.
When Arabi saw Sir John approaching, he indulged in the most ridiculous demonstra-
tions of impotent rage and feeble defiance.
“ Very good ! ” said the Champion of Merry England. “ I will teach you a lesson, my
fine fellow, that shall last you your life. This will I do, not only in my own interests, but
for the benefit of the brothers who have deserted me ! ”
And the brave knight drew his sword, poised his lance, and made ready to begin.
“ Stay a moment, I beg you ! ” said a fat, sleek, fawning sort of person, whose apparel was
as seedy as his appearance was unprepossessing. ‘ ‘ You do things in such a very hurried manner.”
“ Who are you ? ” was the natural ques-
tion of Sir John.
“I am the Sultan Slyboots,” replied
the fat, fawning creature, “ and I am the
father of Egypt, the Fairest of the Fair.”
“Then if you are her Father, you will
approve of my intentions ? Stand aside,
while I rescue her.”
‘‘ But let us chat it over a little. Who-
ever saves Egypt, the Fairest of the Fair,
will have a right to claim her. Surely,
this seems just; do you not think so ? ”
“ Let me save her first,” said Sir John
“and we can settle the details afterwards.”
“ But it is so much better to talk. I am
very angry indeed with Arabi ; hut-”
“What has the Dragon dangling round
his neck?’’asked Sir John, sharply; “it
seems like a Turkish decoration.”
“Oh, yes!” returned the-Sultan Sly-
boots, with some confusion. “ It is a little-
toy I gave him to play with. But to return
to our talking-”
“I did not come here to talk,” inter-
rupted Sir John, “ but to fight! ”
“ If you would just wait, while I-”
“Why, you unnatural parent!” thun-
dered Sir John; “ I do declare you are
making signs to the Dragon while we are
talking! ”
“Surely, you are mistaken! My left
eye-lid frequently quivers unconsciously ! ”
But while Sultan Slyboots was explain-
ing how his eyelid had quivered, Sir John
poised his spear once more, and went for
the Dragon. Arabi uttered a loud howl,
and showed the White Flag, which bore
a remarkable resemblance to the White
Feather.
ODE ON A CLOSE PROSPECT OF
ETON COLLEGE.
[By a Gray-Headed Wet Bob.)
Ye crumbling spires, ye antique towers,— j
What, if ye were decayed !
What, if your fragments fell in showers
On Henry’s holy shade !*
And what, if o’er your cloister walls
Vague pencilled ornamental scrawls
Afforded mute display ;
Should Vandals, who all things renew,
Be down upon thy records too,
And sweep them clean away !
But, there !—with taste he calls “ correct,”
’Mid scenes of vanished days
Your gay restoring Architect
The very dickens plays !
Yet, as his brand-new work he vaunts,
He gives us for our treasured haunts
Red brick—and nothing more !
Which drives Wet Bob to stick to this,
“ Where crumbling memories are bliss,
’Tis folly to restore ! ”
* Wouldn’t “Edmund” be astonished if be
saw “Henry’s holy shad-” gliding into the
office like Margaret’s grim ghost! By the
way, “ Henry ” was at Eton, and as Gray's was
a prospective poem, the description might have
been prophetic.
A Friend from Rome informed Mrs.
Ramsbotham that among other things he
had recently seen Cardinal Layigerie take
possession of his titular church of “ St.
Agnes - Without - the - Walls.” “ ‘ Saint
Agnes without the Walls’!” exclaimed
Mrs. Ram. “How on earth is the roof
kept up F ” _
What we wish for our Policy in the
Land of the Pyramids.— Tin succes pyra-
mid ale.